The Power of Emotional Intelligence: Leading With Confidence Through Life’s Challenges

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. If you've ever been in high functioning and successful, but still felt stuck in your head, overwhelmed, hesitant to speak up, or unsure how to manage your emotions at work, this episode is going to change how you think about confidence and leadership. Today's guest is Camilla Calberg. Camilla is a business mentor, career coach. She spent over 20 years leading big transformations at BP, Shell and IBM.

Tim Newman [00:00:55]:
Now she helps women who feel unseen and stuck in their heads and find inner peace and become emotionally intelligent and trusted advisors in their organizations. In the big picture, she is here to change how we set leaders up for success. Less box ticking on KPIs and more soul led leadership that actually feels good and is sustainable. Camila, welcome to Speaking with Confidence.

Camilla Calberg [00:01:20]:
Thanks very much, Timothy. You just really nailed it. I'm so proud of you. Thank you so much for having me.

Tim Newman [00:01:27]:
Well, you know, going through your bio and the conversation we had, you know, it's incredible. You know, some of the big corporations that you've worked in and had that kind of impact on people and you give so much value to people. And that's one of the things I'm really excited to talk to you about because even with all those ups, we also have the downs. And a lot of people, they only want to hear where they want to talk about all the good things. But real growth for me comes from when we've been down here and we learn from that or we grow from that. So that's really what I hope we talk about today.

Camilla Calberg [00:02:09]:
I love it because it's so true. We don't grow when everything goes right. Like everyone says that I'm emotional intelligent. Yeah, you are when the sun is shining. But when the storm comes, are you still emotional intelligent? And it comes the same with growth. So I'm all in.

Tim Newman [00:02:27]:
Yeah. And I joke with people kind of along those same lines. You know, for me, it's great when it's sunny outside, but as soon as it gets cold, I'm. I'm out of here, bud. But, you know, you talk a lot about lived experience versus theoretical emotional intelligence. So for someone who hears emotional intelligence, you know that buzzword emotional intelligence all the time, but doesn't really feel what it means. How do you define it? In real life terms, I love it.

Camilla Calberg [00:02:59]:
And dear listener, when seven years ago, I now start to define myself as being a non emotional, intelligent person because I was. I had no training in emotional intelligence. And the way I want to answer that question is whatever you're good at, whatever you love, lived experiences, you probably will agree with me. If not, I love to hear your thoughts on that. But lived experiences is way better than reading a book on it.

Tim Newman [00:03:36]:
Oh, yeah.

Camilla Calberg [00:03:37]:
Because you know, like, if you don't have, if you don't live it, you don't know it.

Tim Newman [00:03:43]:
Right.

Camilla Calberg [00:03:43]:
So for me, emotional intelligence is in the big picture. Scanning. When my emotions of running the show, of running me, Deepak Chopra sensation in your body you can feel when you tremble. That's a nervous system sending you a signal. And if you then practice and practice and then say, why do I tremble? Or why am I nervous? And get your nervous system back into coherence or in alignment, that's really what emotional intelligence is all about. Because there's. Then you are not the emotion, but you're intelligent about the emotion.

Tim Newman [00:04:31]:
Right, right.

Camilla Calberg [00:04:32]:
I think that's how I would summarize how I live and brave being an emotional, intelligent being and continuously grow my awareness.

Tim Newman [00:04:42]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a great explanation. You know, and as I think about it, you know, when we're put in a situation and we don't handle it well. Well, we don't handle it. I'm using the Air Fingers quotes here. The correct way or the right way by some standard. And if you can look back on that and say, you know what, I messed up there. I had that feeling and I reacted this way, that's probably not the best way to handle that. Think back and say, okay, let's do it this way next time.

Tim Newman [00:05:17]:
Let's take a step back and think about what would be a better way to do it. And you really see this. A great example of this is with kids growing up, right? And for whatever reason, I think at some point we lose that and we get to adulthood or we get into a professional situation and then we stop thinking about how we handle situations and it just becomes, well, that's the way I handled it. And everybody else can just deal with the way that I'm being. And that's where the real, to me, where the real problem comes.

Camilla Calberg [00:05:49]:
Oh, yeah. So, right. I think the world is changing right now. But it's in our conversation. But in the conversation we have right now because there is more focus and understanding about neuroscience. There is this movement from not understanding or coming from old school that we grow when you're children, but then in adulthood you don't grow. But now there is this new school and a smarter school that if you don't grow, you die. If you don't grow, not like literally die, but you become irrelevant.

Camilla Calberg [00:06:29]:
So that consciousness and growing your, your awareness is suddenly that more, more adults feel. How can I grow? How can I become a better version of myself so I don't next time lose my temper and really don't show up as the best person I want to be in this situation? Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:06:51]:
And we're going to talk about this as we go through the show. You know, when we look at it from a professional workforce perspective, I think, I think it's by the year 2030. So four years from now there's going to be more Gen Z and millennials in the workforce than Gen X and boomers. And the Gen Xers and boomers are going to have to grow and learn how to actually deal with and work with and get along with and communicate with the Gen X. I mean excuse me, the Gen zers and the millennials. And that's really where some growth really needs to take place.

Camilla Calberg [00:07:30]:
Yeah. And for the Gen C. So a lot of some of my learning come from Dr. Joe Dispenza who is a neuroscientist, very popular. I don't know where in US is based but a lot of my teaching, my understanding and my growth come from his work. And what I learned from Dr. Joe Dispenza is that until the age of 35 we actually grow. But then our default way of showing up is kind of lot when we're 35.

Camilla Calberg [00:08:01]:
So Gen Z is when you're listening in, you have an amazing opportunity to be curious about your trigger system, your belief system and get into alignment with who you want to become. But when from 35 is kind of we've run on autopilot. I started my personal development journey was when I was mid-40s. I had to really put so much more effort into my personal growth because there was years I had to unlearn. So obviously it takes a bit. I don't think it's take longer, but it takes more commitment from other generations to, to be willing to, to connect with themselves and learn who they really are and why they're being triggered because that's again emotional intelligence why you triggered.

Tim Newman [00:08:56]:
And let's take that a step further with you. A lot of your work is really shaped by a period from you when you hit rock bottom, what was the moment when you realized, I can't think my way out of this. I have to change how I experience myself.

Camilla Calberg [00:09:11]:
That was so vulnerable. And I started also to talk a lot about wearing masks because, Tim, most people wear masks. How are you? I'm fine. Okay. La la la. I was really good at wearing masks and actually talked my mom yesterday. I can talk about that maybe later. The mirror moment came 18 months into working with a coach and she couldn't.

Camilla Calberg [00:09:39]:
Maybe she was new in the game or she didn't know what was really going up. I was really good at masking it and I. She got me to fill in a questionnaire that I now also have in my practice for my private clients about energy when you're being triggered. And the mirror moment came when she asked me, what is really going on in your personal life when you are now that my then husband. And it was the first time, Tim, I broke into tears and told the story that I had been carrying inside myself for years. About now we're in court. Psychological abuse. How it was to live in such a family environment and trying to raise a.

Camilla Calberg [00:10:34]:
Take care of a very young soul. My daughter, I don't know, a few years old. And I realized for me to help my daughter, this is so deep. If I were going to help my daughter thrive, I have to heal myself. And I couldn't do it on my own. I couldn't get out of my victimhood. I felt the feelings, I felt the fear. So the fear controlled me.

Camilla Calberg [00:11:05]:
It was not the future that I was looking forward to. I was so scared. And I just. I set up and say, teach me. I'm ready to invest in myself. Because when I invest in myself, I invest in my future. And also for my daughter, that was the first mirror moment.

Tim Newman [00:11:24]:
And you know, once you get past that, how did you feel once you expressed it? You know, you have that emotional feeling, but once you got past that, how did you feel?

Camilla Calberg [00:11:40]:
That's a really interesting question. I never got that before. I haven't really paused to feel how I was feeling because there was layers and layers and layers I had to peel like peeling the onion. And then there was this court case that suddenly I called it I'm in bed with the enemy. Because suddenly I was dragged into court and I had to navigate the court system and manipulation and everything. I think where I am now, I don't think I know I am now. That's good, right? Yeah. The person I am now compared to who the Camilla was a year ago or seven years ago, I have inner peace.

Tim Newman [00:12:31]:
That's awesome.

Camilla Calberg [00:12:33]:
And for years, Tim, I was so afraid even to go to bed. So that of having inner peace, that of just relaxing into my own skin, that is the feeling I feel. So that is a change I have experienced because I have become intelligent with my emotion. And I'm no longer my emotion.

Tim Newman [00:12:57]:
My.

Camilla Calberg [00:12:57]:
I'm no longer tired, feel the tiredness, but I choose not to be tired. I feel that I'm. I'm sad, but I am not sad. As so much, so many hours put into this.

Tim Newman [00:13:12]:
Right.

Camilla Calberg [00:13:12]:
But being in being greater than what you think and being more intelligent than your emotions, that has changed my life. Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:13:22]:
And that's awesome. And I'm so glad that you. Not glad that you had to be on the journey, but that you went on that journey and came out on the side of it. Right. Because again, one of the things we're talking about here is so many people stay stuck in whatever that is and never get past that. And so when we look at that from a communication perspective, they pride themselves and everything. Like you said, everything is great. Everything's awesome.

Tim Newman [00:13:53]:
Like when we first got on the call, I said, it's awesome. It's best day ever. Right. And I say that a lot of times in a sarcastic way, but people don't realize whether it's real or sarcastic. But it's a way for me to express something as opposed to holding. Holding that in. Right. But a lot of people, you know, they pride themselves on being logical, calm, or high performers when deep down inside, like you said, they've got this internal strife, this internal emotional battle that's going on inside, and they're quietly sabotaging everything, their communication, especially under pressure.

Camilla Calberg [00:14:32]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:14:33]:
Right. So how does that. What does that look like? How does emotional suppression sabotage communication? What does it look like?

Camilla Calberg [00:14:43]:
Communication or performance? Maybe. I know. Speaking with confidence. Let me share. That is a conversation. Sometimes the universe just aligns up. That's. I had a conversation with a Isaac and very not sea level, but it was a.

Camilla Calberg [00:15:03]:
It's a big company and he has big role. And he said, I get to filter something out here. But he said, I'm going. I feel invisible. I'm being asked to take care of this division in this area, another part of the world. And he says, I don't really want to. And you've also been told that you have to be more emotional, intelligent. You have to build more strategic relationships.

Camilla Calberg [00:15:38]:
So what is really going on? Oh, but I live here and they want me here. There was a lot of excuses. So what is now as you Said logical. I asked him, and I invite you to drop from your head through your

Tim Newman [00:15:55]:
heart

Camilla Calberg [00:15:57]:
what is really stopping you for showing up for this assignment. Because that's also about speaking with confidence. He didn't really speak with confidence. And it took him a while. And then he said, camilla, you know what we've been through always time management, like all these excuses that people have, right? And then he said, it's fear, failure. Now we are talking.

Tim Newman [00:16:25]:
Now we're talking now. Now we go somewhere, right?

Camilla Calberg [00:16:28]:
That is the root cause for all the excuses for all this invisible showing up of not speaking with confidence. Because fear of failure. So fear, that's an emotion, right? That's an internal narrative. But when we believe that to be true, then that's going to drive how you show up, right? So how we landed that and the conversation is ongoing that what if this was the best opportunity for you, you'll be given an amazing opportunity for you to grow, to show with confidence that you can do this, you can. For you to speak as a leader. What if, and only you, we know that where we are, there's still a lot of. I don't know how much, but I say a lot. But normally, when we are no longer competing for intellectual intelligence, then emotion, where we are.

Camilla Calberg [00:17:38]:
And if we want to grow, the way to get there is to become a different version of us. No more stacking credentials. It doesn't work. I was only working harder, and most people work harder, but I help people get up here. So I said, you've been given this responsibility, but you operate here. And that's emotional intelligence. That's speaking with confidence. But it didn't speak with confidence because that fear of failure got him to be invisible.

Camilla Calberg [00:18:15]:
So we were working on that.

Tim Newman [00:18:18]:
That's such a good point. And you said something that I'd like to dive just a little bit deeper into stacking credentials, because that's what we do. That's what we do, right? Isn't it? We stack credentials and say, okay, yes, I'm so much better, I'm so much smarter because I did this, I did this, I did this, I did this. But. But then we don't ever truly take that step forward into those reach roles. I did a presentation last week and I said, confidence is great until you have to put it into practice, right?

Camilla Calberg [00:18:53]:
This is so important because unless you embody your knowledge, your knowingness, you haven't learned anything. You just repeated the same year again and again and again. And what breaks my heart, but that's just, okay, you're gonna Work really hard for this. When people are in transition and they enrolled in a program and said, I just got this certificate, but that's just paper you haven't lifted, then you can't use it as a door opener. So unless we really start to embody that work, it's just stacking. It's proven to the outer world that I'm good enough. But if you don't grow as who you are being doesn't work at all. Doesn't work.

Camilla Calberg [00:19:50]:
It doesn't really maybe take you where you want to go the fastest way.

Tim Newman [00:19:54]:
Right? Well, I would argue that it doesn't really take you where you want to go because you're not growing. You're still being the same person in the same spot. For growth to happen, you have to actually move. You have to go from point A to point B. And I think it's again, for whatever reason, and each individual person, like you said, the person you work with was fear of failure. I mean, it could be any number of different things. But before we can grow, we have to get to the root of whatever that issue is and then we can deal with it and then start taking steps to move forward.

Camilla Calberg [00:20:32]:
Exactly. And that's also when you talk about Gen Z helping Gen Z land better jobs. When you say, but the company needs 10 years of experience. Well, that's okay, but that's one year repeated 10 times. If you have grown as a human being, you don't need to compete for 10 years of experience. That's not a competitive edge. The competitive edge is that you grow as a human being. You become more conscious, aware.

Camilla Calberg [00:21:04]:
Those who have 20 years of experience have repeated the same year 20 times. So don't freak out when you see this because it's. The world has grown, we become more conscious, aware. But it's not. You can easily ace that conversation. How many years experience you have? Well, I've grown as a human being, yeah.

Tim Newman [00:21:26]:
So what are a few phrases that you hear immediately that signal stress avoidance or emotional overload or stress.

Camilla Calberg [00:21:36]:
That's so much stress right now, even though people don't really want to say it. But emotional overload and stress. What I hear a lot right now is that the firefighters, I call it. I just released a video about are you a do a fixer or you're the architect of you the. Do you shape the future? And what happens is again, emotional intelligence. A superior gives you a task, the firefighting. And we love, I think most of us, we love to help. But when we, when we help other people, you.

Camilla Calberg [00:22:12]:
You down prioritize your own tasks. So you so. And what is happening right now is, is that they want to help. They subconsciously. And they know, what if I say no? Will they think I'm a problem? Will they think I'm not a team player, I cannot do it. So they, they tell themselves I have to say yes, even though the team does not have the capacity. So they get stressed. They push down the stress on the teams and they're about burning out.

Camilla Calberg [00:22:46]:
But really the biggest growth opportunity is to hold the space and see that soul, that person. Okay, so you're stressed right now. There's a lot of pressure. If you want me. And I helped. I had a program from Gen Z last year where I helped them understand also about communication. It's like, all right, you want this, But I get to also protect my own time, my own health, my own mental being. So if I'm going to help you, what on my plate should I not do right now? That's very powerful conversation to have.

Camilla Calberg [00:23:26]:
Rather than just blindly, I call it outward. Yes, say yes just per default. We shouldn't just say yes, but we. So. And I think maybe for women, Tim, I don't know what you, what you see in your world, but it seems as though a lot of women think it's a risk to say no. But we are actually sabotaging our own health, relationship with our family, with the kids, and we are just pushing down that stress towards our team members. But it's not as a weakness to say no when we know how to do it the right way.

Tim Newman [00:24:07]:
Yeah. And I think as we, at least from my perspective, as I learn more, as I grow more, it's actually a sign of leadership to be able to say no and pick and choose the things that are aligned with you and aligned with your goals that can help people. Because again, if we're saying yes to everything, we're really helping nobody because we're not giving everything the attention and the level of expertise that it needs. But by saying no, you're showing that level of leadership to be able to focus and help the people that you really should be focusing on and helping.

Camilla Calberg [00:24:53]:
Yeah. And the thing is that most people have, we have learned from home and from school to just help and say yes. But what happens, and I seen that pattern, whether we are in, like late in our career or younger in our career, new in our career, that if we just please other people, help other people. Your primary task, you push them into the evening, but you get to really protect your energy and protect your time. That's why learning to say no and holding the space for people are so important because then we don't burn out. We only burn out when we don't dare allow ourselves to. All right, you're busy but I don't assume consume your stress. But tell me how can if I am going to help you, what should I not do right now it's a learning for a lot of people.

Tim Newman [00:25:56]:
We're seeing that a lot in business where the leaders are frustrated with Gen Z and Gen Z is frustrated with leaders and there's really that disconnect because leaders often say that Gen Z isn't engaged and they don't ask questions. Gen Z says they don't feel safe to be engaged or don't feel safe asking questions. But what's actually going on between the two groups from an emotional intelligence perspective, I love that.

Camilla Calberg [00:26:34]:
So I think the Gen Z because they're young in the game, they want to please, they want to do the best. And those I have served, they actually would love to have mentors but they are oftentimes not those mentors to guide them how to hold the space for people who are stressed in our age. Right, right. And then that leader is because they haven't learned to navigate their own stress, they cannot lead themselves. And then they are stressed because that pressure comes from the top. And then GC asks some questions or maybe not.

Tim Newman [00:27:19]:
And.

Camilla Calberg [00:27:19]:
And then okay, I'm just going to survive and do my best. And then the agency haven't really delivered that that friction. But what I have seen, and I'm curious about what you've seen Tim, is that some of the NA can be very different industries is that. And it's really interesting because it could be us. Tim. We actually had some NC reporting to us. Is that may our wisdom coming out as too nonchalant and then those. The Gen Z do not dare to ask those questions.

Camilla Calberg [00:27:56]:
But the good news is those I serve, the Gen Z they would actually love to have the tools and they appreciate an environment where they can actually share what the heck is going on Camilla and help me hold the space because then they this very stressed leader comes and I don't know how to hold the space and I'm. I'm afraid and let me. She's just stressed but you should not consume her stress. But they consume the stress because they haven't learned emotional intelligence. So actually I'm starting from the bottom right now. Right. Bottom but the roots. Right.

Camilla Calberg [00:28:36]:
And then they can hold the stress leader better.

Tim Newman [00:28:38]:
To me a lot comes from Just a complete misunderstanding of how each other thinks and goes about making decisions. You know, is, you know, I grew up, I'm a Gen X, I never followed, you know, the basic rules. You don't ask questions, you're told to do something, you just go. But I've always, I've always been one asked the questions. And so, but most Gen Xers, you don't ask questions, you just, you're told to go do something, you go do it. And so we're really the ones that are leading these people and Gen Z and millennials, they ask a lot of questions. And so you've got to understand that you have to take time and give space to listen to those questions and understand, number one, why they're actually asking the question. They're not asking the question because they're lazy.

Tim Newman [00:29:31]:
They're not asking the question because. Because they're stupid. They're not asking the question for any of those reasons. They're asking the question so that they understand, so that they understand what the point is of doing whatever it is and how this point affects everything else and actually goes into the overall mission goals of the organization.

Camilla Calberg [00:29:50]:
Absolutely.

Tim Newman [00:29:51]:
And so there's that. And then when, let's just say, like you mentioned, the pressure's coming down on top, on top of the Gen Z. They're not resilient, let's just put that way. They're not resilient and they don't know how to deflect that pressure.

Camilla Calberg [00:30:09]:
Nope.

Tim Newman [00:30:10]:
Right. And that's again, so now as a Gen Z person, I'm taking all kinds of pressure. All I was trying to do was understand something. And so I'm going to shut down and I'm either going to do the bare minimum or I'm going to leave this organization and go find somewhere else to work. And that's not a way forward for anybody because what's going to happen is the Gen Z person is going to go to another organization and guess what's going to happen. Excited, this leader over here is going to hire somebody else and guess what's going to happen? The same thing. And that's the positions that we're in.

Camilla Calberg [00:30:50]:
And the thing is, Tim, I think you asked me that question, what I see and the, and the noise and there's no time to reflect. And that's, I think, both sad, but at the same time also a bit of unity for us who are more emotional, intelligent, because there's a lot of pressure on leaders, but there's only pressure on leaders who, and they feel it when they are not emotional, intelligent to pause and say, what is it that we want? So I say it's for everyone. Whether they're in my world and on here is that you will get an unfair advantage. The moment you can be greater than other people's feelings. They say, what is it? And we just get to ask those questions because it will help me serve you better. And I think that's what we can also help Gen Z is that don't do it for your own sake, but how can you serve the other person better? Also for senior leaders, how can we serve better? But we are, we've been taught in school to have this transactional mindset, the doer mindset. There we burn out.

Tim Newman [00:32:00]:
Yes.

Camilla Calberg [00:32:00]:
But we come from the mindset of being of service, a servant leader, whether whatever age we are. Then we step out of the burn. Potential burnout hamster wheel.

Tim Newman [00:32:14]:
Yeah. So I'm glad you know, you said that because, you know, there were two times in my career where I made a pivot. And one of them was when I realized that I wasn't connecting with my students anymore. The stories weren't landing, the teaching wasn't good, they weren't understanding. I was getting the blank stares, I was getting the rolling of the eyes. And I've always had a really good and close relationship with my students because it's just kind of. I've always believed that if you have that relationship, they're going to be so much better and they're going to perform so much better and they're going to grow so much quicker and faster. And so I pulled a few students aside and actually what I did over the course of a week, I took two of them to lunch each day for a week, went down to a sandwich shop, bought them lunch, and talked for an hour, hour and a half.

Tim Newman [00:33:07]:
And what I learned, what they shared with me, is that I was. The reason why it wasn't connecting is because the way they are processing information, the things that they want to learn with, the things I was asking them to do, wasn't in their wheelhouse anymore. So that flipped something for me. And so I changed some of the terminologies I was using, I changed some of the processes that I did. And it was almost like it wasn't like night and day. It took about a month. And I could see the change, right? And what that did was they saw that I listened, they could trust me, they could tell me something, I would listen and they could trust I would act on it. And that was something that really kind of flipped flipped the switch to them and some of their successes and that's part of it as well.

Tim Newman [00:34:08]:
You know I think if leaders were to actually listen to Gen Z and find out how they process things, why they do some of the things that they do, why they're asking those questions and then not just ask those questions but listen to the answers and then act on them obviously within reason you're going to see a much better result.

Camilla Calberg [00:34:28]:
Oh absolutely. And I think the, it's really interesting why we the Gen Z could be our kids for example is that why do they have that conversation or why is that such a topic? But I think that the millennium and other generations don't really ask those questions because they have been taught and trained to ask questions because they believe that asking questions is showing weakness. But Gen Z, they ask questions because we live in a different age. And the more leaders dare to slow down and are tired of running on nt are tired of not really deep within emotional intelligences that they don't see soul to soul they don't are curious about why do you ask those questions? That's actually a really good question. Provoke me. I love that. But when we work with report to leaders who come from lower self and want to prove whoever is going to ask questions is going to find that really challenging. But rather than seeing as a challenge see it as a growth opportunity not to be consumed by other people's emotions and way of being and they say am I, I'm here to grow.

Camilla Calberg [00:36:01]:
If I can't grow and you don't respect me as a person, maybe there's a better way, better place for me to be, right? I think I would advise my Gen Z students down those lines.

Tim Newman [00:36:16]:
So if we, if we, let's, let's take that just one step further because you know a lot of times when we're, when we're in a situation, right. We're, we're, we're in the heat of it. We're, we're in, we're in the middle of this. If you could, if, if you could say something, tell, tell Gen Z Try this quick mindset shift. You know, keep this in the back of your head and when you're in this position try this mindset shift tip and see what happens. What would you tell me to do?

Camilla Calberg [00:36:44]:
Okay, here's something I would love for you to understand. Gen Z We are all souls. And if someone is reluctant, if someone runs on lower level energy and you feel friction, don't consume that friction, don't consume that emotion. But observe what is Going on. And I see right now, Tim, you're stressed rather than taking on your stress and oh, is it me? I hold the space for you and saying you're stressed right now. What is going on? The moment you'd allow yourself to be there to serve the other person and then allow yourself to say out loud without judging. It's so important not to judge. We don't want to judge.

Camilla Calberg [00:37:30]:
People say out with love right now. I can see you're busy. What is going on? Or you don't trust me? Tell me more. Slow down Gen Z and see that person as who that person is. Be curious about what is really going on. Use that to build relationship. But the step one is don't consume anyone else's emotions. Hold the space for them and don't think that it's your fault.

Camilla Calberg [00:38:00]:
Don't think that you did something wrong. I don't. Don't take it on your shoulders because it's not right.

Tim Newman [00:38:08]:
It's.

Camilla Calberg [00:38:08]:
That would be my first step. I could go on, but that would be my first step. Yeah, yeah.

Tim Newman [00:38:13]:
You know, and I think the audience really does enjoy things that they can, they can, you know, use right away. You know, these little tidbits, you know, things that they don't have to necessarily go and work on and practice that they. Wow, that's, that's a, that's a good practice. Put, put that in my back pocket. You know, I can remember that. And then when I'm in this position, I'm going to try that.

Camilla Calberg [00:38:39]:
May I give another practice?

Tim Newman [00:38:41]:
Oh yeah, please do.

Camilla Calberg [00:38:42]:
Please do another practice. Which is so important. We don't learn it in school, but wow. Well, it's so important for your mental health, for your health is that whatever you tell yourself something that doesn't make you happy, flip that forward. Pick a better feeling story because you are the captain of your life and what you focus on will grow in your body. The more you tell yourself, I need to, I have to. Or maybe she doesn't like you. Actually, the more pressure you put on yourself, the more pressure you put on your body and the likelihood also impacts your, your health.

Camilla Calberg [00:39:24]:
So really promise me, say this. Lovely. Don't any thought that doesn't make you happy. Pick a better feeling story. Practice. Pick a better feeling story. You will get more life out of this than those who circle in negativity.

Tim Newman [00:39:46]:
Absolutely.

Camilla Calberg [00:39:47]:
Just research issue on that.

Tim Newman [00:39:49]:
Yeah, yeah. And it's funny, but not funny. Haha. But funny. You know how we get stuck in that negative. Right? We get stuck in that negative. But we never truly get stuck in the happy. We never truly get stuck in the positive.

Tim Newman [00:40:08]:
Right. We let the smallest thing throw us off that, that happy trail. Right. But nothing can get us off that, that, that, that negative trail.

Camilla Calberg [00:40:21]:
But that's the brain and that's the journey I'm on to teach other people as well. Because we the brain and society and we consume media. That's negativity, that's fear. But there is, I can't remember Gabby Bernstein, I can't remember the book I'm listening to right now. But that's a tune in to love, tune in to happiness. The more you cultivate that, you will become a magnet for opportunities. You will become a magnet for amazing people in your life and better cultivate that skill set to be happy 24. 7 than negativity.

Camilla Calberg [00:41:05]:
But it's a train, it's, it's a practice because the brain is here to protect us and most people are not emotional, intelligent. Right? It's. But we haven't learned that in school. So we are so beware of what tribes you are in. Are they negative? Right. What songs are you listening to? Stop it. And choose a tribe that can pull you up. It can be that easy.

Camilla Calberg [00:41:32]:
Sometimes I get as well say, which friends do you want to join or be in? Because do they lift me up or do they pull me down?

Tim Newman [00:41:42]:
I love that you said that because I had a conversation recently about, you know, with someone who said that, you know, they've started to surround themselves with better people and even people in their family. And I said, well, hold on a second now I'm not knocking. I love, I mean family to me is everything. But there is a but there. If there is somebody in your family that is pulling you down, is being that negative influence is that person that is negative talk to you. You need to separate yourself from. I'm not saying you go no contact, but maybe they're not in your inner circle anymore. Maybe you're not spending as much time with them and you have to surround yourself with people that are going to support you and are going to give you the truth and not give you negativity all the time.

Tim Newman [00:42:36]:
So yes, they're family. Yes, you love family. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they get full access.

Camilla Calberg [00:42:42]:
Yeah, absolutely. And that also comes from me, from being of receiving education and motivation from external sources because I didn't learn this from home. I didn't learn this from business schools. I didn't learn this in IBN by all this top companies I work with. Because at the end of the day. They're also human beings. Right?

Tim Newman [00:43:05]:
Exactly.

Camilla Calberg [00:43:06]:
That's really what is so true. And the energy. Protect your energy. Energy who. People who steal your energy. Don't go into those circles because you will be impacted by that negativity. You are the sum of the five people you see the most. So if you are not overly happy, if you don't really enjoy life, if you don't show up at the best version you want to be, you get to find a different tribe.

Tim Newman [00:43:37]:
Absolutely. But Camilla, for someone who wants to explore this, work deeper, what's the place? What's the best place for them to start with and connect with you?

Camilla Calberg [00:43:47]:
So to. To start with, go on YouTube. I have different CH videos on YouTube is my channel is Camilla Kalpak. And connect with me either on LinkedIn or reach out to me on my web through my website. I have different free trainings and courses for Gen Z, also a tribe only for agency. So reach out to me and schedule a free conversation and I'll put those

Tim Newman [00:44:14]:
links in the show notes for everybody. But Camilla, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. I really enjoyed the conversation. It's always good to talk with somebody that you're on the same wavelength with and you still learn other things from them as well. So I can't thank you enough for that.

Camilla Calberg [00:44:31]:
Thanks for having me, Tim. I really appreciate the work that you do and the opportunity. So thank you for having me.

Tim Newman [00:44:38]:
All right, you take care and we'll talk to you soon.

Camilla Calberg [00:44:40]:
Thank you.

Tim Newman [00:44:40]:
And you be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Forming for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time. Take care, Sam.