Building Connections and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome through Storytelling

Tim Newman [00:00:06]:
Welcome to Speaking with Confidence, podcast that’s here to help you unlock the power of effective public speaking. I’m your host, Tim Newman, and I’m excited to take you on a journey to become a better public speaker. If you are like most people, just the thought of speaking in front of a crowd or talking during an important meeting can trigger all kinds of anxiety. Trust me, I know what that’s like. I gave my first speech as a senior in college. I was so nervous that as soon as I got to the front of the room and opened my mouth to speak, I threw up. I have learned a lot since then, and I’m here to help others overcome their fear of messing up or sounding stupid. This episode of the Speaking with Confidence podcast features Sara Lohse, and a conversation about storytelling.

Tim Newman [00:00:48]:
She’s the owner of Favorite Daughter Media, and author of Open This Book, The Art of Storytelling for Aspiring Thought Leaders. Sara has helped others amplify their impact by connecting brands with their target audiences through strategic and creative media. So get comfortable, sit back, and listen to the full episode. Sara and I discuss how to tell stories, ways you can learn from unexpected sources, such as stand up comedians, and tips for figuring out the key to sharing even the little things in life. Sara embodies the art of telling stories, and you can tell she took Maya Angelou to heart when she references her quote, people don’t remember what you say or what you do. They remember how you made them feel. Sara can talk about complex issues such as neuro coupling and draw you in as easily as she does when she’s sharing about her family or personal experiences. So don’t let the topic of storytelling trick you into thinking this episode is light on content and strategies.

Tim Newman [00:01:44]:
There’s plenty of information here for you and will certainly help you in your journey to become confident speakers. I’m sure you will enjoy listening to Sara on this episode of the Speaking with Confidence podcast. So her next guest is a storyteller, a marketer, and a brand architect with the knack of turning narratives into connections. Through favorite daughter media, she uses her passion and talent to help mission driven brands amplify their impact, proving that authentic storytelling and strategic marketing go hand in hand. Sara is the host of the branded podcast, Blair Roberts. She also just published a new book. It’s called Open This Book, The Art of Storytelling for Aspiring Thought Leaders as currently currently available on Amazon. So plea please welcome Sara Lohse to the show.

Tim Newman [00:02:26]:
Sara, thank you so much for taking some time with us today.

Sara Lohse [00:02:29]:
Thank you so much for having me.

Tim Newman [00:02:31]:
There’s a lot of talk in what I’m doing currently with storytelling. Everybody’s saying, well, how do you tell stories? Why is storytelling so important? And, you know, for for me, it’s just kind of part of who I am and what I do. So, like, last night, we did our you know, I’m doing a pilot, you know, for for for my course, and I started off with telling the story about how I threw up the very first time I I did public speaking. And, yeah, it gets a big chuckle, but then people say, well, you know, how do I do that? So what what would you say to to somebody’s how do I tell stories?

Sara Lohse [00:03:08]:
That’s a really great question. And how to tell stories is there’s so many ways to answer it, but I think the first step is just figuring out what your story is. And I think that’s a step that a lot of us miss because we think that the stories that we have to tell have to be these really big stories and these headline worthy stories, the greatest thing we’ve ever done, greatest thing that’s ever happened to us. And that makes us struggle because we’re trying to choose this 1 super, like, this is the best it’s ever been story. And those can be hard to either find or to relate to what you’re doing.

Tim Newman [00:03:49]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:03:49]:
So the first step is just realizing that you have stories that could be smaller, that can be just daily things that have happened to you that you’ve learned from. So just the way that you’re able to take those experiences and derive value out of them that someone else can walk away with is how you’ll be able to create your story.

Tim Newman [00:04:12]:
And it’s it’s it’s really interesting that you say that people think think they have to have this this this big, amazing story. And, you know, you’re you’re you’re right because I see people’s people struggle with that. And for me and and kinda how I how I talk to people about it is, you know, just whatever happened, you know, whatever happened yesterday. And and and how that how that can relate to to this person over here and what they’re going through or, how to help them, you know, improve or or what have you. It’s it’s and maybe that just comes with with experience. Me being a college professor and and staying up in front of people for so long, may maybe that’s what it is. Or or maybe it’s just do do you think it’s innate to be able to tell stories?

Sara Lohse [00:04:54]:
I think it can depend on the person. I have been told I’m kind of a natural storyteller and I’ve been telling stories my whole life. I was always a writer. I always wanted to be a writer, but for some it isn’t. And in that case, like it can be learned.

Tim Newman [00:05:12]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:05:12]:
And that’s the great thing. Like anything with enough practice, I think can be learned. And with storytelling, especially, the more you tell your story and take in the reactions of who you tell it to, that’s gonna make you a better storyteller because you’ll see what’s resonating and what’s hitting and what isn’t.

Tim Newman [00:05:31]:
I think you hit the hit the bingo where you said practice. And I’m I’m a big believer in in practice, practice, practice because the the more you practice and and the proper practice, the better you’re you’re gonna be.

Sara Lohse [00:05:43]:
Yeah. And practice, but also study, Which in something like storytelling, that can sound kind of weird, but it’s so true. It’s like we need to study something to really understand it.

Tim Newman [00:05:54]:
Yeah. And they say,

Sara Lohse [00:05:54]:
if you wanna be a good

Tim Newman [00:05:55]:
writer, you

Sara Lohse [00:05:56]:
need to be a good reader. It’s the same thing with stories. The more you more stories that you read, the better your stories are. The more people that you just see tell stories. I think the best people that you can learn from as storytellers are standup comedians.

Tim Newman [00:06:12]:
Yes. Yes.

Sara Lohse [00:06:14]:
That is, they are my favorite type of storytellers because they do it so well in that they have sometimes stadiums filled with people, and they have to tell them a story and have it be a story that every single person in that arena will relate to and will react to. And that’s why when I say you don’t have to have a big story, stand up comedians purposely pick the most mundane Mhmm. Regular experiences to talk about because those are the experiences that everyone has. Airline food is not actually a good story, but everyone has experienced it. Yes. So if you tell it well enough and you form a story well enough around it, you can get that reaction from everybody in the room.

Tim Newman [00:07:04]:
Exactly. And and, you know, Kevin Hart was did a segment on 60 minutes. I think it was, like, right around it was a couple weeks ago, right around the master’s time. And, basically, he said that all of his jokes are stories about him and his family or or Yeah. It’s it’s everything comes from him about him or his family. So, yeah, that’s perfect. So you have 1 of the best names for your business that I’ve ever come across. And, you know, we talked a little bit about it.

Tim Newman [00:07:32]:
It’s called My Favorite Daughter,

Sara Lohse [00:07:34]:
and Favorite Daughter Media.

Tim Newman [00:07:36]:
Yeah. Favorite Daughter Media. And, I think every family that that has, you know, brothers, sisters, what have you, there’s always that that that conversation. Well, I’m the favorite. No. I’m the favorite. I’m the favorite. Tell us how you came up with that name because it’s, again, it’s part of your your your story that that that kind of makes you who you are, makes your business what what it is.

Tim Newman [00:07:58]:
Tell us what story is.

Sara Lohse [00:08:00]:
Yeah. So I never planned on opening a business. I did not in any way wanna be a business owner. And so I’d never put in thought of what I would call a business. Like, I thought of book titles I might write and all these different things that I might do, but business names never crossed my mind. So then it was kind of a split second decision of, I think I’m gonna do this, and I had to come up with a name. So I just started googling how to name a company. And there’s, like, there’s blogs of here’s how you do it.

Sara Lohse [00:08:33]:
And it’s ask people around you for adjectives to describe you. And think about, like, childhood nicknames. And my childhood nickname was Bub. Like, that’s not a that’s not a good business name. Like, my dad has never called me anything in my life except for Bub, unless I’m in trouble.

Tim Newman [00:08:50]:
Oh, there you go.

Sara Lohse [00:08:51]:
It’s it it I even just being called Sara makes me feel weird because I feel like I’m in trouble. But there was, like, nothing on the list really stuck. I did text my friends. I did get adjectives. They made me smile. It was a nice little like, oh, thanks. But it didn’t help me.

Tim Newman [00:09:07]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:09:08]:
And so instead, I was just thinking about like, what would I call myself? Because my company is me. I am my brand. And I’m just thinking of, like, what I would name myself if I could, kind of. And my thoughts immediately just went to my dad. And he’s my favorite person in the world. And the relationship that I have with him is so special, and he like, I wouldn’t be anywhere without either of my parents. But my me and my dad have this special relationship. So I named it favorite daughter to make myself laugh and because it made me think of my dad.

Sara Lohse [00:09:47]:
So it’s really, like, homage to him Mhmm. More so than it is to me. But now it’s a conversation starter.

Tim Newman [00:09:53]:
It really is.

Sara Lohse [00:09:54]:
It’s memorable. So it worked out. It kinda checks all the boxes.

Tim Newman [00:09:58]:
And you know that what what you just said and the story that you told is is a perfect example of of of that conversation starter of of building connections with people. You know, when we when we talk about, you know, public speaking, and, you know, I wanna get to this a little bit later, but, you know, people don’t remember things or information. They they remember stories and Yeah. And that connection. And so that’s 1 of the to to me, 1 of the biggest pieces that that especially young professionals really miss that it’s it’s about it’s about connections. It’s about people. It’s about building relationships. So whether you’re standing up on a stage or whether you’re running a team meeting or going to a networking event or, you know, doing a sales meeting, what all these different types of interpersonal types of communication that we have, it’s still always about building connections, building relationships, and telling the story of what of whatever it is.

Sara Lohse [00:10:56]:
Yeah. That it’s it’s so true. And I feel like at this point, people buy stories.

Tim Newman [00:11:02]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:11:02]:
And if you wanna sell something, you need to have a story around it. Like, there’s people that say, like, oh, they could sell ice to an Eskimo. And like people who could just sell anything. It’s always because they’re able to form a really strong story.

Tim Newman [00:11:15]:
Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:11:16]:
And the story that gets stuck in someone’s head and a story that relates to them. And it’s I feel like marketing finally is shifting away from ad messages and just traditional marketing, and it’s moving into this space of storytelling. And anyone who’s not really on board is gonna miss the boat.

Tim Newman [00:11:37]:
You’re exactly right. When when when we talk about, again, young professionals, there’s this whole idea of imposter syndrome really kind of creeps in and, you know, they and I think that’s something, you know, you know, when I talked a little bit about it, but I think that’s something that that stops people from telling their story.

Sara Lohse [00:11:59]:
100%.

Tim Newman [00:12:00]:
So, you know, how do we, how do we get them away from that and and say, you know, I can say that your story matters and you can say that that that story matters. But how do we get get young professionals or because, you know, there’s a lot of of I’m gonna put myself in the in this category, older people, season we’ll call seasoned professionals that had that imposter syndrome as well. How how do we get people out out of that?

Sara Lohse [00:12:29]:
Honestly, imposter syndrome hits us no matter how old we are, no matter how young we are, whatever industry we’re in, whatever we’re doing. It’s I feel like honestly just part of the human condition

Tim Newman [00:12:40]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:12:40]:
At this point, because we’re not conditioned to celebrate ourselves.

Tim Newman [00:12:45]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:12:45]:
Like that comes off as vain. That comes off as egotistical. So if you were to actually stand up and say, I deserve to be here, people would be like, kind of like taken aback and not really happy about it. Mhmm. Like, okay, says who? Right. So we don’t have that really natural instinct to feel like we belong and feel like we deserve things. And I talk about this in my book a little bit, but 1 of the reasons I think is this idea of you’re so lucky. I hate that sentence.

Sara Lohse [00:13:19]:
And we hear it all the time. When something really great happens to someone, they deserve something, they earn something, they accomplish something. It’s oh my God, you’re so lucky. Like, no. No. You’ve worked really hard for this.

Tim Newman [00:13:31]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:13:32]:
Right. I earned this. This isn’t luck. Like someone told me, several people when I was building a house, you’re building a house. You’re so lucky. Like No. Where? How?

Tim Newman [00:13:42]:
I’d be winning the lottery.

Sara Lohse [00:13:43]:
Did I stumble on a pot of gold and it’s paying? No. Like everything that we earn, like we earn these things and we work for these things. And we have to get to a point where we’re allowed to celebrate ourselves.

Tim Newman [00:13:55]:
Right. And and I see I see that a lot. Students graduate and go and get jobs, and they thank me for everything that I did. I I haven’t done anything for you. You you you did the work. I mean, you you you studied. You you did the work. You you went to network events.

Tim Newman [00:14:11]:
You’ve gotten the jobs. I haven’t done anything. You know, I’ve maybe I’ve pushed you in a certain direction, but you do you you’ve done it all. You know, I I appreciate the compliment, but it’s okay for you to take ownership of and accolades for the things that that you’ve accomplished.

Sara Lohse [00:14:29]:
Yeah. I mean, we see this in I mean, I talked about, like, stand up comedians. So, like, celebrities in general, we see someone accept the awards somewhere, and it’s always listing people that they think.

Tim Newman [00:14:38]:
Uh-huh.

Sara Lohse [00:14:39]:
And I I think there’s been a few people recently who have stood up and just been like, it’s about time. Or like, yeah, I deserve this. And people are like, oh my god, they did not just say that. It’s like, yeah, they did. And it’s true.

Tim Newman [00:14:52]:
It’s true.

Sara Lohse [00:14:52]:
So I think that’s really a huge thing. It’s just like our culture is not 1 where we’re allowed to be self celebrational. I don’t know if that’s even a term, but, that’s really something that I’ve seen that I think we have to just stop telling people that they’re lucky if they’ve worked for something.

Tim Newman [00:15:10]:
Exactly. I mean, it’s it it it things don’t just you’re lucky if you win a lottery. I’ll you know, you win the lottery. Okay. You’re lucky. I’ll and I’ll and I’ll take that. But, but again, it’s I I think it I think it’s a it’s a mind and a paradigm shift that, I think it’s a long time coming. And, you know, when I when I when I look at at where where we’re at, I think right now, young professionals right now are way smarter than than I was or my generation is.

Tim Newman [00:15:44]:
Seriously, they’re way more entrepreneurial, but they’re also way more reserved in, I don’t wanna say necessarily introverted because, you know, that that’s that’s not really the term, but but but they’re they’re they’re much more worried about what other people think of them than than, let’s just say, my generation was growing up. Yeah. And and I think that’s that’s also part of the the issue that they’ve got to overcome.

Sara Lohse [00:16:15]:
Yeah. And I think that ties to, like, social media. We live our lives under a microscope now, and we want to only show the highlight reels, but that’s not real.

Tim Newman [00:16:28]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:16:29]:
And the it’s so hard to be authentic and do what you love and just be yourself in a world that’s always watching you.

Tim Newman [00:16:40]:
But if you’re come if you’re comfortable in your own skin. Right? And and you just just be who be who you are, why do we have why why is it that we have to feel feel that we that we’re always perfect? I think if you look at good leadership, good leadership knows that they’re not perfect. Good leadership shows that, okay, yes, I made a mistake. Good good leadership, you know, re reaches out to to people for for advice. Good leadership reaches out to diverse groups of of of people, young to old, male to female, and and really wants to work with what’s best. And if if we’re gonna teach people to be good leaders and good communicate good to be a good leader, you have to be a good communicator first and foremost. If we’re gonna teach people to be good good leaders, they’ve gotta be good communicator communicators, and they have to be willing and open to making mistakes.

Sara Lohse [00:17:43]:
Yes. I think when you hear someone share their success stories, like, that’s great, but you have to be sharing the failures too.

Tim Newman [00:17:54]:
If

Sara Lohse [00:17:55]:
you’re trying to gain respect and gain credibility, but everything has been a success, that looks like, well, you’ve never really been challenged.

Tim Newman [00:18:05]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:18:06]:
So how why would I trust you to help me get to this place? I know I’m gonna make a mistake.

Tim Newman [00:18:11]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:18:11]:
So what help is the person who’s never made them? I wanna know that if I make a mistake, you’ve made the same 1 and you can help me navigate it.

Tim Newman [00:18:20]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:18:20]:
Or you’ve made a mistake and now you can help me avoid it. Things like that are what we need to be sharing. Mhmm. Because you would like it kind of seems counterintuitive to share mistakes, but at the same time, you’re sharing them from a position of I’ve made it past this.

Tim Newman [00:18:39]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:18:39]:
And I’ve gone through this, but I won or I came up on came out on top.

Tim Newman [00:18:44]:
Yeah. And III think it’s incumbent upon us as the more seasoned professionals to to to to to model that behavior and and and model the it’s okay to make mistakes. And, yeah, I was talking to somebody just yesterday about this. As businesses grow in in today’s time, if we’re not reaching out and to to to younger professionals and and making compromises, not only in, you know, the the whole idea of of how the business the business structure in terms of work from home, work in the office. You know, we’re we’re hiring young young people and expecting them to just conform to whatever our structure is. It’s it’s it’s really not it’s not good business anymore. I mean, there there’s there’s gotta be some some compromise on on both sides. And we have to be able to reach out to to younger professionals and start getting their ideas and using their ideas because traditional business is not what it what it was, you know, before the Internet and social media and and and those types of things.

Sara Lohse [00:19:55]:
I feel like conformity and innovation don’t exist on the same plane. You if you’re constantly having everything conform to the way we’ve always done it, then that’s gonna continue to be the way you always do it.

Tim Newman [00:20:10]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:20:11]:
And that what’s the point of that? We are, the world is growing and changing so quickly. If you’re not changing with it, if you’re not willing to change with it or even lead the change, then kind just step back. Let someone else do it because you’re not gonna accomplish really anything other than the exact same thing you’ve been doing for years.

Tim Newman [00:20:32]:
Over and over again. Right?

Sara Lohse [00:20:33]:
Over and over again.

Tim Newman [00:20:35]:
And your business will fail. Let me just Yeah. It’s it’s really, really that simple.

Sara Lohse [00:20:41]:
Competition is real. Your competitor is not doing the same thing over and over again. They’re trying to find a better way to do it. They’re finding a quicker way, a cheaper way, all of these things. So if you’re not also willing to be innovative, you’re going to get fast. And when you bring in, it’s not even just bringing younger people, it just bring in anybody new. Everybody has their own experiences, and so they have their own level of expertise. We learn from everybody around us, or at least we should.

Tim Newman [00:21:10]:
Well, hopefully, we are.

Sara Lohse [00:21:12]:
Yeah. But, I mean, I learn from children every day.

Tim Newman [00:21:14]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:21:15]:
So the things that we can learn from other people, if we just give them a chance to say what they wanna say

Tim Newman [00:21:21]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:21:21]:
Like, it can open your eyes to so much more and just change the way that your business runs for the better. Yeah. It also could lead to some mistakes. But, hey, that’s kind of and that happens too.

Tim Newman [00:21:33]:
There there really isn’t any business that has been out there that hasn’t made mistakes. I mean, just just look at Apple, how bad off they were, you know, letting Steve Jobs go. And and, you know, even now Apple makes mistakes. The the the Disney is making mistakes. ESPN is making mistakes. They’re they’re all all these these these big companies Yeah. They they go down a road. Okay.

Tim Newman [00:21:53]:
It’s not working. We have to to change course and and and and fix it or or do something else.

Sara Lohse [00:21:59]:
Yeah. The small ones do it too. I realized just yesterday that I’ve had a Google ad running for the past month and a half and didn’t know about it. It wasn’t pointing anywhere. And I spent about $300 on a pointless ad, and I just figured it out. So

Tim Newman [00:22:16]:
Well, they should figure it out.

Sara Lohse [00:22:17]:
Mistakes too.

Tim Newman [00:22:18]:
At least we should figure it out, though. Right? That’s the

Sara Lohse [00:22:20]:
I’m actually better now than another month away.

Tim Newman [00:22:25]:
Yeah. Yeah. But it happens. And but now that that that you can also take that and turn that into a story.

Sara Lohse [00:22:32]:
And I learned to stay away from Google Ads. I don’t know what I’m doing.

Tim Newman [00:22:37]:
Alright. There you go.

Sara Lohse [00:22:38]:
Everything’s a lesson.

Tim Newman [00:22:39]:
There’s that. So I I mentioned earlier that that people don’t remember, things or information. They they remember stories. Why is that?

Sara Lohse [00:22:52]:
There 1 of my favorite quotes is Maya Angelou, and it is people don’t remember what you say or what you do. They remember how you made them feel. Okay. And I think that’s really the key is that it’s not so much the story. It’s the feelings you get from the story. And, I talk a lot about the components of making a story really compelling. And 1 of them is the emotional resonance. You have to have emotion in the story that you’re telling because the way that human brains work, it’s actually really fascinating.

Sara Lohse [00:23:29]:
I’m gonna be a total nerd for a second, but there’s a phenomenon called neurocoupling. And when we hear someone telling us a story, our brain, like our neurons, are firing in the same way as the person who’s telling the story. So our brains are being tricked into thinking we’re experiencing the story that we’re listening to. So we’re able to experience those same emotions. So if you’re able to tell a story in a really compelling way and really hone in on those emotions, we’re gonna feel it. And we’re gonna remember that feeling and remember what you told us that gave us that feeling.

Tim Newman [00:24:11]:
That’s a that’s a a really interesting concept, the the whole idea that you as the listener if the person’s a good storyteller, you as a listener are feeling the exact same thing that that they are.

Sara Lohse [00:24:22]:
Yeah. I mean, this is something that we’ve all experienced without knowing it. And I always give the example of when you’re watching a scary movie. Yeah. So you’re just sitting in your living room and there’s no apparent danger. The doors are locked. Everything’s fine. You’re under a blanket.

Sara Lohse [00:24:39]:
But you’re watching a suspenseful scene, and you start to feel anxious, and your heart’s racing, and it you feel that fear. That you have no reason in the real world to be afraid. But your brain is is mirroring the emotions of the person you’re watching and the story that’s playing out.

Tim Newman [00:24:58]:
Yeah. So so so what what are the other components of a good story?

Sara Lohse [00:25:03]:
So emotional is 1. It has to be relatable.

Tim Newman [00:25:07]:
Alright.

Sara Lohse [00:25:08]:
Relatability is a huge 1 because the they need to connect to it. And it’s those shared experiences that drive those connections. But the best way for something to be relatable is just for it to be personal because we all go through the same experiences as human beings.

Tim Newman [00:25:26]:
Yeah. We

Sara Lohse [00:25:27]:
all go through the same basic. Our lives are gonna be different, but there’s going to be these key components that nobody is free from.

Tim Newman [00:25:36]:
It’s so true. And and, again, I I guess maybe it goes back to the whole idea of social media. We we don’t want people to know the negative thoughts or feelings that that we have even if it’s an even if it’s unfounded. Right? Or or the trepidation of let let’s just say get getting up on stage. Pretty much everybody has it, but we don’t want anybody to to know that. Or, if we don’t make a sale, how upsetting it is. You know, we wanna talk about the you know, we we made the sale or or we got the client or this we don’t talk about how, you know, we we missed out on this or or even just like you just said, I don’t want anybody to know that I just spent $300 on nothing.

Sara Lohse [00:26:15]:
We wanna show off our highlight reels.

Tim Newman [00:26:17]:
Yes. Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:26:18]:
And I think it’s so important to show the blooper reel too. And that’s something I have been very, intentional about doing.

Tim Newman [00:26:27]:
Mhmm.

Sara Lohse [00:26:28]:
And I host a podcast as well. It’s called Branded. And we don’t edit out our mistakes unless they’re really bad and we’re down a total rabbit hole and we’re just ruining the episode. But for the most part, we leave them in because it’s real.

Tim Newman [00:26:42]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:26:43]:
It this is what happens when you’re human. And we’ve had people write into us and say, thank you for leaving these in. Don’t ever take them out. We’ll make, like, social media reels and clips just of the bloopers. Because, yeah, we’re professionals. We know what we’re doing, but that doesn’t mean we’re gonna do it perfectly.

Tim Newman [00:27:01]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:27:01]:
And it’s so important to show.

Tim Newman [00:27:03]:
Yeah. Now, see, what I’m I’m sure everybody knows this. I edit because, I need to edit. But if I’m saying I’m talking to people, some of the things that come out of my mouth in front of people, it’s it’s it’s bizarre. And I use a lot of self deprecating humor because it’s you know, I I tell to I don’t take myself very seriously at all. You know, I take what I do seriously because it’s important. But at me, I’m just it is it is what it is. And III think that’s that’s, obviously, that’s not good for everybody.

Tim Newman [00:27:35]:
Everybody has their own personality, their own their own style. But you have to be I I think everybody is on some level has to to be comfortable in their own skin and saying, yeah. K. I screwed up. Or I’m not I’m not as good as you all think that I am or or or whatever whatever it is to ultimately to be successful. Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:27:57]:
I think acknowledging failure or even just the small mistakes, it doesn’t even have to be failure. But just acknowledging it, it’s making you more relatable, but it’s making you approachable. It’s making you human. And especially in these days, we don’t wanna interact with companies, brands, logos. We wanna interact with humans.

Tim Newman [00:28:18]:
As humans. Right? Absolutely. Yes. Absolutely.

Sara Lohse [00:28:20]:
But give it as a representation of your company. You want to lead with human first. There is no other way to connect with people. Nobody feels connected to, like, McDonald’s. Yeah. They feel connected to going there as a kid with their family, like, things like that. It’s not the company. It’s the people behind it.

Tim Newman [00:28:43]:
Right. It’s funny you say this because, you know, when when I did the did my last presentation, I was talking about content, and and c isn’t for content, c is for cookie. And

Sara Lohse [00:28:55]:
That’s good enough for me.

Tim Newman [00:28:58]:
And, you know, the people that were in my audience, some got it, some didn’t. And I said, well, you know, what what’s a for? And they said audience. I said, no. A isn’t for audience. A is for Applejack. J is for Jacks. You know, and that’s how, you know, when I put things together and I tell them if I’m if I’m ups on stage or I’m in front of the class, I’m talking, and you see me chuckle, that means I’ve told a joke to myself in my head as I’m talking to you. And it’s okay to laugh, And sometimes I’ll tell, sometimes I won’t.

Tim Newman [00:29:26]:
And and it’s, you know, you you kinda have to understand in doing this, you have to understand your audience and and when these things are appropriate and when they’re not appropriate. That’s that that is also, you know, I I think a a key component of this as well.

Sara Lohse [00:29:42]:
I think I avoid the audiences in which it’s not appropriate.

Tim Newman [00:29:45]:
I don’t.

Sara Lohse [00:29:48]:
And maybe I mean, I was still young. I’m at the, like, early ish, I guess, stages of my career. So maybe that’ll change someday. But if I’m in a room where I don’t feel like I can act like myself, I’m gonna find a different room. And that that doesn’t come from a place of, like, ego or anything like that. It comes from a place of I worked in finance for many years, and I had to try to fit into the, like, square pegs and round holes, whatever it is, I had to do that. Right. And I was losing myself.

Sara Lohse [00:30:25]:
I was trying to cling to who I was while being told who I was wasn’t okay.

Tim Newman [00:30:31]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:30:32]:
And now that I’ve gotten out of that, I basically just started to promise myself to stay unapologetically authentic.

Tim Newman [00:30:41]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:30:42]:
And if I’m ever speaking to an audience and I feel like I can’t show up as myself, I don’t wanna show up at all. And that’s happened. I’ve been to finance conferences once I already went independent, and I brought the blazer and the heels and everything, and I didn’t wear them. I showed up in jeans and Converse. And I said, this is this is me. I have something to teach you. And if you wanna stay and listen, I would love to have you. And they did because it was okay.

Tim Newman [00:31:15]:
Well, III love the story that you told me, you know, offline here about the time you went. And, you know, you were the youngest person in the room, and and you had, you had somebody to say, what what did they say to you? We’re supposed to learn from you? Or how old are you? Or

Sara Lohse [00:31:29]:
I I have so many more years of experience than you. What do you possibly think you could teach me at your age?

Tim Newman [00:31:35]:
Oh my god.

Sara Lohse [00:31:36]:
I’m gonna get that tattooed someday.

Tim Newman [00:31:37]:
You should? Just out on your face. You know?

Sara Lohse [00:31:41]:
Oh, no. Forehead. Absolutely.

Tim Newman [00:31:43]:
There you go.

Sara Lohse [00:31:43]:
No. That was that was said to me, and it was only because of that I’m young. And I was there as a speaker. I’m in literally in the room to teach you something. But honestly, the answer is nothing. If if you don’t think I can teach you something because of my age, that means you’re not open to learning, and I’m not gonna pry your closed mind open.

Tim Newman [00:32:03]:
That’s

Sara Lohse [00:32:03]:
not on me.

Tim Newman [00:32:04]:
Right. If you

Sara Lohse [00:32:05]:
don’t wanna learn what I’ve got to teach you, then feel free to not pay attention. It’s fine. I don’t take it personally.

Tim Newman [00:32:13]:
And and you shouldn’t. I mean, that’s that’s that’s the whole thing. And and I think maybe where I disagree with you just a little bit is I’ve been I’m gonna be mean no matter what whether whether they want me there or not. I’m just gonna be me. It’s sometimes it’s sometimes gonna end, sometimes not. And if and maybe maybe maybe skin because it’s I’m I’m older now. Maybe if I was younger, I I wouldn’t, but whatever. If you don’t like it, what I

Sara Lohse [00:32:45]:
mean, that’s

Tim Newman [00:32:46]:
I’m gonna be me. I’m just Yeah. No matter no matter what. And and, like, when I say that sometimes it’s appropriate to say things, sometimes it’s not. And I say, well, I say it even if it’s not appropriate. It’s, that’s just who I am. And good, bad, or indifferent. And this is what I tell tell people, it’s not right.

Tim Newman [00:33:02]:
It’s not wrong. It just is. And

Sara Lohse [00:33:04]:
I don’t think we’re disagreeing at all. I mean, I showed up to the finance event in Converse and Jeans because that’s how I felt like myself. And if I didn’t think going into it that I would be accepted, I thought like I would be looked at, like what is this person doing here? And it wasn’t like that. And I was so happy to actually be able to connect with people and not feel like they’re connecting with a version of me that doesn’t actually exist outside of that room.

Tim Newman [00:33:28]:
Right. It’s

Sara Lohse [00:33:29]:
because that’s the whole thing. We go to these for connections.

Tim Newman [00:33:32]:
We should anyway.

Sara Lohse [00:33:33]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:33:35]:
Anyway, are there any other components to storytelling that we need to to understand or include?

Sara Lohse [00:33:42]:
Yeah. So there’s 4 total. So we’ve gotten, the emotion and, that it’s relatable. 1 is just that it has the right amount of detail, and that 1 is a hard 1.

Tim Newman [00:33:56]:
It is.

Sara Lohse [00:33:57]:
Because you if you don’t have enough detail, if you don’t follow the story, you don’t feel it. If you have too much detail, you’re losing your audience. They’re lost in the weeds. It’s like my mother, who is the queen of just too many details. And I cannot get her to finish a story without giving me the back stories of everyone involved in Oh, gosh. The ending of the story she meant to tell me last week, but could but forgot it, and what everyone ordered for lunch that day. Like, all of these details that are so irrelevant. And you start to lose the point.

Sara Lohse [00:34:30]:
You you have to still make it to the end. So that’s 1 of them for sure. And the other 1 is that it has to be unexpected.

Tim Newman [00:34:39]:
Yes. Okay.

Sara Lohse [00:34:40]:
We have to have a way that we can make something have kind of like that hook.

Tim Newman [00:34:46]:
Yeah. And when I look at the different types of of stories that we have and the different types of environments that that we’re that that we have these, I gotta call it public speaking opportunities and trying to to craft and create the story to fit these type of story with the event to resonate with whatever the audience is at the given time. So sometimes, it’s it’s easy and you can make it work. Sometimes, it’s it’s very difficult. Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:35:21]:
I think people put too much work into try to mold a story to a topic Mhmm. When just think about the topic, what’s the first memory that pops into your head? That’s probably your story.

Tim Newman [00:35:32]:
Probably the best ones. Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:35:34]:
Yeah. But having something be unexpected is my favorite part of storytelling. It’s the part that I find the most fun, because it’s kind of, like solving a riddle. Like, how do we take the story and make it unexpected? And I found that if the hook isn’t that catchy, take it out of context. And sometimes it sounds a lot cooler. So I’ll actually give the hook first.

Tim Newman [00:36:04]:
Okay.

Sara Lohse [00:36:04]:
I’ll open basically open with the punch line or open with the close. And when you give it upfront, it’s kind of those stories of, like in the movies. I bet you’re wondering how I ended up here.

Tim Newman [00:36:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. Hear you. Absolutely.

Sara Lohse [00:36:18]:
Yeah. It’s like that. So out out of context, it seems wild. But if you were to just say it in order, it might not be as wild because it all makes sense. So if you’re able to just hook them right away by giving away the the ending, you capture your audience.

Tim Newman [00:36:37]:
That’s a good way of looking at it. And, you know, when you when you said that, you know, you can wonder how I ended up here. There’s a show and I I’m not a big TV watcher, but there’s a show on Apple TV called Acapulco. And that’s kinda how they start each episode. How how do we end up here? And it’s it’s a it’s a comedy type of thing. And that’s how they start. And then the the end of the episode is base basically the the beginning of the story that they told Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:37:09]:
It just circles back.

Tim Newman [00:37:10]:
At at at the beginning.

Sara Lohse [00:37:12]:
Yeah. Everything just comes full circle.

Tim Newman [00:37:14]:
And good storytellers do this without they do it successfully without the audience even realize what what they’re doing.

Sara Lohse [00:37:23]:
Mhmm. I think it’s also 1 of I mean, I love this version of storytelling. And part of it is because of the way that my brain works. I have really severe ADHD.

Tim Newman [00:37:36]:
Okay.

Sara Lohse [00:37:37]:
So my brain does not follow plot lines. It tries to chase them down and beat them to the finish line. I’m constantly thinking what’s gonna come next and trying to guess the next thing they’re gonna say, and solve the mystery, like, even though I have no clues whatsoever, but I’m just gonna this is what’s gonna happen. So I can’t follow it when it’s chronological. But when you tell me the ending upfront, I don’t have to do that. I don’t have to be chasing down that plot.

Tim Newman [00:38:06]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:38:07]:
I can just be like, okay. I know where this is going. And then I can follow it because I there’s it’s already done the unexpected, basically.

Tim Newman [00:38:17]:
So so I I guess are are you a true crime podcast fan at all?

Sara Lohse [00:38:23]:
I I used to be. I used to be for sure. Now that I run a podcast production company, I have way less time to listen to podcast production. So mostly, I listen to my clients’ podcast. But, no, I used to, for sure. And I still, I read the mystery novels and the thrillers, and I overwhelm myself with all of my guesses that are almost always wrong.

Tim Newman [00:38:49]:
Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:38:49]:
But it’s it’s fun for me. But if it’s in the context of I’m trying to learn from someone on stage, it’s not gonna be effective.

Tim Newman [00:38:59]:
Not effective at all. Yeah. So I spend a lot of time in my car, and I I love true crime. And the whole time I’m in my car, I’m just like you. I I’m I’m I’m guessing, I’m guessing, I’m guessing. And if I had stopped and, you know, get some drink at rest stop or anything, first thing I do is I pull up Google, and I find out the end of the story before because I can’t take it anymore. Eating. I know.

Tim Newman [00:39:21]:
I know. I I know. But I can’t I mean, it it it try it drives me nuts. Yeah. You know, sometimes, you know, I’ll make 3 or 4 guesses, and I’m and I’m right. We get back in the car and anyway.

Sara Lohse [00:39:34]:
No. I’m always reading those, like, mystery books. And I will in my head, I will have accused every

Tim Newman [00:39:40]:
character Oh.

Sara Lohse [00:39:40]:
By the end. So then when I find out who it is, I’m like, I knew it. See, I I said that. I guess it. Yeah. I guessed it. I mean, it was 14 guesses ago, but I guessed it. And then I can feel proud of myself.

Sara Lohse [00:39:51]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:39:51]:
But with true crime, it’s it’s if it’s if you guess the husband or the wife, you know, the spouse or the boyfriend or girlfriend, 99% of the time, you’re you’re right. So Yeah. And I don’t know why. So so I’m going through all the date lines right now, and it’s always the husband or the wife.

Sara Lohse [00:40:06]:
Oh, yeah.

Tim Newman [00:40:07]:
So this is what it is. Yeah. So, what what are the different types of stories that we tell? Because, again, those are important as well as, you know, the the components and choosing the the type of story for for the for the audience or the the event is is just as important.

Sara Lohse [00:40:29]:
Yeah. There are so many different types of stories. I know I list out a bunch of them in the book. The 1 that I did mention 1 already, and it was the transparent recounts. And those are the ones where we’re telling our mistakes. And a lot of the stories, for the most part, the types of stories that we tell have a happy ending. Like, it always ends with like, and this is why I was just like, this is why it succeeded, and this is why it was great.

Tim Newman [00:40:54]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:40:55]:
Transparent recants don’t. Those are the ones where it’s like, this is what failed, and this is what I learned. Right. And those are 1 of my favorites. But there’s types of stories that we see them every day, but we don’t necessarily like ID them as types of stories. And it makes me think of like the a day in my life kind of stories where you’re telling someone what goes on in your day. I don’t know about anyone else’s like TikTok algorithm, but I see these every day. It’s just follow me at Woweye.

Tim Newman [00:41:24]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:41:24]:
And it’s these people that are just going through their day and bringing you along. Those are a really powerful type of story. And it’s because it’s making you a real person. It’s like the drawing the curtain back and showing the wizard as just the person. Because especially in situations where it’s like it’s a celebrity or it’s somebody, they don’t seem like a person. They seem like this icon. Right. And when you’re able to show just like a normal day in the world, you’re seen suddenly as a real person.

Tim Newman [00:42:02]:
And, again, if we’re connecting with people, that’s a much better way to connect as as than through selling whatever product it is or you’re selling whatever service you’re you’re you’re wanting to do because, again, you’re you’re you’re you’re you’re selling yourself or you’re sell you’re selling you’re selling you, really.

Sara Lohse [00:42:22]:
Yeah. And there’s the ones that, like, underdog stories that we hear about them all the time. But we all probably have some kind of underdog story. It’s not necessarily the Michael Ohr story of being like a homeless teenager and suddenly in the NFL. Like, we probably can’t relate to that, but there’s been situations where you felt like the underdog. Yes. And you can still tell those. Again, it’s not about having the headline worthy story.

Sara Lohse [00:42:54]:
So even if it’s just a job interview where the person running against you was more qualified, where you thought they were, like, that’s an underdog story if you get the job. Things like that are the smaller versions. But I’ve gone into job interviews before. I’ve never made it to the NFL. Right. The smaller story is the 1 that connects. Right. It’s the 1 that resonates and 1 that is relatable, and that relatability is the important part.

Sara Lohse [00:43:19]:
Mhmm.

Tim Newman [00:43:20]:
You know, or or even let’s just let’s just take it from from a sales perspective. You know, when when you’re when you’re pitching a client, you know, you’re you you don’t you don’t get every client. And and you you you you learn from that, and and, and then that that also becomes part part of the story as well.

Sara Lohse [00:43:38]:
Yeah. I started, the, I would say, like, second act of my career, as someone who felt like a complete underdog. Because when I was offered a higher position at a different company, the president of my company looked at me and said, why would they want you? You’re just a copywriter. So then I walk into this position that I ended up eventually taking, and I’m just I’m just a copywriter. This is a job for someone better than me. This is a job for more experienced versions of me. And it felt like an underdog situation.

Tim Newman [00:44:15]:
But on the back end of that too, for for you, I mean, you you obviously came out on top.

Sara Lohse [00:44:22]:
Eventually.

Tim Newman [00:44:23]:
That person who who told you that, it really showed you a lot about who who they were and how they valued you you as an individual. And you did what you at least what I think you should’ve done anyway. You did what you should’ve done and had a higher value for yourself and and and went in another direction. So it goes back to that whole impostor syndrome thing again. Yep. We can’t let anybody else make us feel less than or unworthy because we do enough of that of ourselves.

Sara Lohse [00:44:54]:
Absolutely. I think most of the negative comments that I hear every day come from myself. And I always think about the golden rule of treat others the way you wanna be treated. And I think we need to reverse it and make you treat yourself the way you treat others.

Tim Newman [00:45:11]:
That’s a that’s a good 1.

Sara Lohse [00:45:12]:
Because I don’t know. Like, I am like, for the most part, I’m nice to people.

Tim Newman [00:45:17]:
Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:45:17]:
My my friends, I mean, I show affection through gentle bullying. But for the most part, like, as to to the general population, I am nice and I’m polite, but I’m not nice to myself.

Tim Newman [00:45:29]:
You know what? My my friend told me about 6 months ago, we we had this exact conversation and because he knows how I am. And he said, you know, if you continue doing this, you’re going to become that. And I said, well, it may maybe, but but probably not because I think in in some sense of the word words, you know, it’s it’s true. I’m telling my things myself things that that are true because I didn’t do this, I didn’t do this, I didn’t whatever it was because it’s right. III didn’t do it. I think the most successful people are the ones that are hardest on themselves because they they expect more and demand more from themselves to be able to get better. But my guess is nobody is harder on you than you are and nobody has has really gotten you to where you are more than you your actions and your knowledge and your abilities.

Sara Lohse [00:46:26]:
I don’t disagree, But I think that also comes down to the definition of success. Because I think those people are like, they’re successful either in their position or financially, but are they happy? And I think like, yes, we’re hard on ourselves and we have to be driven and we have to always want to be doing more. But there’s, I think the people that are hardest on themselves because of the insecurity or the fear of failure, whatever it is, end up almost stepping on others to get to where they are. And I think the happier people are the ones that are if they pass somebody, they’re turning around to help them forward. And Yeah. My that’s I think my definition of success is having the love and respect of the people around you while doing what you love.

Tim Newman [00:47:25]:
Okay. I’d go with that. And and I think we have have to look at it from in different aspects of our life too. I may be happy in my personal life, not happy in my professional life. And that may switch. May maybe my personal life, I’m not I’m not doing the things that I need to be doing for for myself and my family, Because I’m focusing at this aspect of time, I’m focusing on my professional life or my social life or what what whatever it may be. And and maybe that’s a a better way of of looking at it. Although, I I agree with you.

Tim Newman [00:47:56]:
I don’t I don’t think you can you can be successful if you’re basing your success off of other people’s failure or you’re stepping on other people for you to be successful.

Sara Lohse [00:48:07]:
I mean, they say, like, it’s lonely at the top. I think Not really well. The people who are I think the people that are so focused on just, I need to get to this point. I need to move forward. I need to be more successful. I need this. I need this. I need this.

Sara Lohse [00:48:22]:
I’m not doing enough. It’s very isolating.

Tim Newman [00:48:26]:
I think if you make it isolated because, I I Yeah. To me, again, if it’s all about people and relationships. I don’t know how you can be and this is just me talking. I don’t know how you can be successful if you’re lonely.

Sara Lohse [00:48:38]:
Oh, great.

Tim Newman [00:48:38]:
I mean, I the it it doesn’t I mean, from again, from my perspective, I wouldn’t I wouldn’t wanna be successful with not have my family or my friends or my my colleagues. K. We’re we’re this come on. We’re we’re all doing this together. We’re all gonna Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:48:58]:
Exactly. Yep. Because that is our definition of success is having that around us.

Tim Newman [00:49:03]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:49:04]:
No. I feel the exact same way.

Tim Newman [00:49:07]:
And I still think that we’re harder on ourselves to be able may maybe because we feel a responsibility to ourselves and other people Because if I’m not doing it or or helping or doing what I need to do, that’s not helping other people, that that it could be it as well.

Sara Lohse [00:49:27]:
Yeah. We’re we are our worst critics. We are the ones that hard our hardest on ourselves. And I think if we, when we have those moments where we feel like we failed or we mess something up and we feel like it’s the end of the world, we need to take a step back and kind of think of it as what would I say to a friend who’s going through the same thing?

Tim Newman [00:49:51]:
Yeah.

Sara Lohse [00:49:51]:
And there’s been times that I’ll mess something up and I feel terrible. And I’ve actually thought like, okay, what would Larry say to me right now? Or what would, Kelly say to me right now? Like, my friends who are my biggest supporters and the people in my network that are my biggest supporters, they are more supportive of me than I am. Yeah. So they’re gonna say something better than me. So thinking almost in their shoes, what would they say to me right now can make me feel better.

Tim Newman [00:50:21]:
As that and and it’s important to have those people in your life.

Sara Lohse [00:50:24]:
Oh, 100%.

Tim Newman [00:50:26]:
That are your cheerleaders, that are your champions that can, you know, lift you up and support you when when you need it.

Sara Lohse [00:50:34]:
A 100%. I think anybody who is trying to do anything completely on their own

Tim Newman [00:50:39]:
It’s not gonna work.

Sara Lohse [00:50:41]:
Not in any way that you’re gonna enjoy. Right. It’s working with other people.

Tim Newman [00:50:48]:
I really wish on any number of different levels that and I’ll go back to to young professionals, understood that and knew that. Because if you talk to a lot of a lot of students now, they they don’t ask for help. They think they can do it all. If they mess up, they, you know, they they think it’s the end of the world and understanding, and they they I wish there was a way to a magic button. Just say, okay, get over it. It’s you you number 1, you you nobody is is perfect. Nobody is good at everything. You’re not gonna be able to be successful all by yourself.

Tim Newman [00:51:27]:
You need other people. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to make mistakes. You know, how how much of that mentality, you know, if we got rid of all those other things, how much better would we be quicker and how much more successful would would all of us be if we could just get rid of that stuff?

Sara Lohse [00:51:47]:
And how many fewer antianxiety meds would we need?

Tim Newman [00:51:50]:
Oh my god.

Sara Lohse [00:51:51]:
I when I worked in finance, I was the same way. I was so terrified of doing anything wrong. And my position was pretty low risk. I was in the marketing department, so I wasn’t dealing with anybody’s money other than, like, my marketing budget. So if I mess something up, it means, like, the newsletter went out with a typo. Some like, something that’s so just, like, not that important in the grand scheme of things. But I would get so anxious to the point that I would have I literally had an anxiety attack in an aisle at a Costco, like, because of something that was said in an email that I read in a negative tone, even though it was not meant to be negative. We get so stressed about that.

Sara Lohse [00:52:34]:
And when I brought it up to the CEO, because I said, like, you said this, so I figured you meant this. And he’s like, no. That never crossed my mind. And I told him, like, I’m literally having an anxiety attack in a Costco. He’s like, why? It’s only work. And that has stayed with me. I don’t think that’s the, like, the 1 sentiment that he wishes stayed with me Wow. Over anything else.

Sara Lohse [00:52:58]:
But it really is only work. Totally. We get ourselves so stressed out over things that aren’t going to change, like, your life. They’re not going to have the catastrophic, like, result that you see in your mind. It’s just work.

Tim Newman [00:53:14]:
Or or you think it gets time. Right? I mean, it’s it’s about this big. It’s about, you know so so what what would you say to to people who who had that anxiety before they get up and and then speak in public with the fear of make a mistake or or messing up?

Sara Lohse [00:53:33]:
I think it’s part of the reason why you need to lead with stories. If you’re preparing for a presentation and you have all of these facts and stats and figures and you’re trying to memorize all of them, you’re going to think you’re gonna mess up because you’re gonna forget a number. You’re going to say the wrong statistic in the wrong place. All of these things that kind quote, unquote could go wrong, and that’s stressful. And I would be stressed about that too. But if instead of leading with that information, you’re leading with stories, you can’t really mess up.

Tim Newman [00:54:08]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:54:08]:
A, it’s your story. You experienced it. You know what happened. You’re not really pulling from something you memorized. You’re just pulling from your experience.

Tim Newman [00:54:17]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:54:18]:
But also nobody else was there. They don’t if you say something and it’s not exactly what happened, I’m not saying why. But if it’s not, like, a 100% to a t, Nobody knows that. No. It’s so it like, it’s okay. It’s like with, with musicians when they say nobody else here was at the rehearsals. They don’t know what you meant to do. Right.

Sara Lohse [00:54:45]:
So that doesn’t mean you did anything wrong.

Tim Newman [00:54:47]:
There you go. And we won’t tell anybody anyway. So Yeah. That’s awesome.

Sara Lohse [00:54:54]:
It it really is just tell tell your story. You know it. You know it cold. Exactly. And you don’t have to worry about messing it up.

Tim Newman [00:55:02]:
And the reality on top of that is at the at the end of the day, most people really don’t care. They’re they’re they’re listening, but at the end of the day, they’re not judging you. They’re there because you’re the expert. You’re there because you’re the person that’s that’s giving them information.

Sara Lohse [00:55:20]:
Yeah. I remember my first conferences, and I’d be sitting in the crowd and thinking, wow, this person on stage must be the cat daddy. This is the person at the top of the industry. Someone asked them to stand on a stage and tell me something. They must be experts. They know everything. I give them the utmost respect. And I almost felt like they, like, I would wanna go up and talk to them after, like they were a celebrity.

Tim Newman [00:55:49]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:55:50]:
And then fast forward, like 2 years, I’m the 1 on the stage. And I’m I’m not the cat daddy. I am not the number 1 in my industry. I don’t know everything. And but it’s hard to change that perspective. It’s like we if you’re someone in the crowd watching you, that person already trusts you and already assumes you know what you’re talking about. You don’t have to walk out and try to prove it.

Tim Newman [00:56:22]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:56:22]:
Because just being on the stage is your proof.

Tim Newman [00:56:26]:
Right.

Sara Lohse [00:56:27]:
Like you already earned your.

Tim Newman [00:56:30]:
That’s it. And you already earned it. You said it.

Sara Lohse [00:56:32]:
You’re not just lucky.

Tim Newman [00:56:33]:
No. You’re not lucky. You’re not lucky. Although I am I do I do play the lottery every week. So

Sara Lohse [00:56:41]:
I I just won $2 on $4 worth of scratch offs, so I’m doing really great.

Tim Newman [00:56:46]:
You’re good. You’re good. So you’re

Sara Lohse [00:56:47]:
you’re half

Tim Newman [00:56:48]:
you’re halfway there.

Sara Lohse [00:56:49]:
Oh, yeah. Halfway to breaking even.

Tim Newman [00:56:52]:
Exactly. Exactly. So tell people about your book. If they can only get 1 thing out of out of the book, what should it be? First off, they have to open the book. That’s the first

Sara Lohse [00:57:03]:
They do. Follow follow directions.

Tim Newman [00:57:05]:
Follow directions.

Sara Lohse [00:57:05]:
It’s called to open this book. But no, I think the reason I wanted to write it was I wanted to help people understand that they do have a story that does have value. And, I mean, the story that I tell the first story I tell in this book is about a stupid tattoo that changed my life. And it’s a ridiculous story. It’s 1 that I never thought would have value. It was just something I would tell in a bar, basically just a punch line. And it changed my career because I learned how to tell it in a way that made it valuable. So if somebody reads my book and they walk away with that with 1 single story that they’re like, people should hear this, then I’ll be happy.

Tim Newman [00:57:53]:
I hope that they do. And the name of the book is is Open This Book, The Art of Storytelling for Aspiring Thought Leaders, and it’s currently available on Amazon. Where else can they find you, Sara?

Sara Lohse [00:58:04]:
Can find me on my website, favoritedaughtermedia.com. Everything is there, socials, podcast, my book, all of it. So I would love to chat with anyone who wants to talk.

Tim Newman [00:58:15]:
And and we’ll leave those put those links in the, in the show notes for everybody. But I would suggest anybody who’s interested in storytelling, please touch base with Sara. Any businesses out there that that that need help with with marketing, SEOs? What what what else I mean, you’re you’re you’re doing all kinds of stuff. What else are you doing?

Sara Lohse [00:58:35]:
I I do a few things. I help people with, just spread their messages however I can. But I actually have a free giveaway if anybody wants it. My book is half journal, and I do have a separate journal that if anybody wants to start writing their stories, go to open this journal.com, and you can download it for

Tim Newman [00:58:54]:
free. Oh, that’s awesome. Thank you for saying that. That’s great. Sara, thank you so much for for taking some time with us today. III really do appreciate it, and, we’ll talk to you soon.

Sara Lohse [00:59:03]:
Thank you so much for having me.

Tim Newman [00:59:06]:
Let’s take a few minutes to reflect on our conversation with Sara Lohse. We cover some basics about storytelling and even got an explanation of how the brain and neurons work to reinforce the connections that we make through stories. In a broader sense, Sears shared a great deal about being authentic, approaching things with an open mind, and interacting with others as people. It’s okay to laugh at yourself, to make mistakes, and to let people be themselves when they speak. I love how Sara focuses on giving people in situations the space to come full circle because they usually do, and we don’t have to force it to happen. Listening to Sara give examples of the different types of stories out there was interesting to me. I never would have broken it down the way she did. But now that I’ve heard her explanations, it makes perfect sense.

Tim Newman [00:59:51]:
1 thing that stuck out for me from our conversation was the not so subtle reminder that people sometimes use age or other characteristics as a reason to listen or not listen to someone. Sara’s perspective on how to not take everything personally, to celebrate the wins, and to be mindful of our inner voice is great advice. I encourage you all to think about your own definitions of success and what it looks like for you in various segments of your life. Learn from your failures, lean on others for help, and treat yourself as you would treat others. I can’t thank Sara enough for sharing her time with speaking with confidence community. I encourage you to pick up her book, read her blog, and remember that your story has value. Keep her storytelling techniques and tips in mind as you continue moving forward on the path to becoming more confident speakers. Please make sure you visit the Speaking with Confidence website and join our growing community.

Tim Newman [01:00:44]:
Sign up for special updates regarding the August 1st launch of the formula for public speaking. Also, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss any episodes. You could download, like, and share the podcast with friends. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time. Take care.