Tim Newman Speaks: Mastering the Quiet Power of Charisma

Tim: 0:08

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results Communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Make sure you hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. A couple of episodes ago, I mentioned that I told my students they needed to stop using filler words, but I never told them how to do it. It hit me that I talk about the power and importance of connecting. In almost every episode, I talk about listening, being present and being authentic. Those things are critically important in terms of being a confident and powerful communicator.

Tim: 0:53

But have you ever left a meeting or networking event feeling invisible, even though you had good ideas to share? Have you ever noticed how some people seem to draw attention and make others feel valued from the moment they walk in the room? Now, some people seem to draw attention and make others feel valued from the moment they walk in the room. That effect isn’t random. It’s built on a set of specific behaviors that create a genuine emotional connection. That’s charisma, and it is what we’re going to talk about today. Neuroscience research confirms that charisma isn’t something you’re born with. Experts have shown it’s a skill anyone can learn by adjusting how they use body language, voice and attention. If you’re ready to become more memorable and influential in your professional interactions, you’re in the right place. But if charisma is learnable, why does it still feel out of reach for so many people? The idea that charisma is something you’re simply born with is one of the most persistent myths in professional life.

Tim: 1:47

For decades, many people have assumed that effortless charm is kind of an innate magic reserved for the lucky few. But research tells a different story. Charisma is not an accident of birth. It’s a skill built through specific, repeatable behaviors and deliberate practice. It’s a skill built through specific, repeatable behaviors and deliberate practice. Ulrich Jensen, a professor at Arizona State University, describes charisma as a set of stylistic expressions that anyone can build into their communication. This means that what we see as natural charisma is usually the result of focused effort. Take Steve Jobs, for example. Early in his career, his presentations were far from captivating. Over time, through repeated practice and refinement, he developed the presence, power and projection that made him a legendary communicator. There’s also evidence from a 2023 study of 350 governor speeches, the most trusted leaders consistently used deliberate tactics like purposeful pauses and targeted gestures to earn credibility and connection. The real obstacle, though, is mindset. When people believe charisma is fixed, they’re much less likely to work on it, but a study from Harvard’s Kennedy School found that participants who believed charisma could be learned improved their persuasiveness by 60% compared to those who thought it was innate, and that’s a memorable difference, driven by the simple belief that growth is possible.

Tim: 3:16

Charisma is not a single trait, but a blend of learnable skills. Olivia Fox Cobain, author of the Charisma Myth, breaks it down into three core elements Presence, power and warmth. These aren’t mysterious qualities. They’re expressed through concrete, nonverbal behaviors like eye contact, vocal tone and attentive listening all things we’ve talked about. Even the most naturally charismatic people often spend years honing these skills, whether they’re actors training for stage presence or CEOs rehearsing every line and gesture before a big presentation. Where CEOs rehearsing every line and gesture before a big presentation.

Tim: 3:55

Once you start viewing charisma as something you do rather than something you are, your approach changes. You begin to treat every conversation as practice, focusing on what you can control and improve, and, with the right mindset, you stop waiting for confidence to appear and start building it through your actions. At the heart of charismatic communication lies a specific balance making people feel valued while also demonstrating your expertise. This combination is what consistently sets memorable professionals apart, and it forms the foundation for everything that follows. Every truly charismatic interaction hinges on something psychologists call the warmth competence balance and, according to psychology today, charisma is the intersection of two core qualities Warmth, meaning empathy and approachability, and competence, which covers confidence and expertise. In the first few moments of any meeting, people instinctively scan for both. We’re wired to trust those who seem genuine and open, but we also look for signs that someone knows what they’re doing. This balance isn’t just theoretical. It plays out in real life and in the way we perceive well-known figures, the Dalai Lama, for example. He radiates warmth. His empathy and gentle presence make him approachable. On the other hand, there was nothing warm about the younger Steve Jobs. But Jobs projected intense confidence through his focus and clarity, which made people trust his expertise. But even Jobs learned to weave in moments of warmth, sharing stories or pausing for a smile, so he wouldn’t come across as distant or cold. The most effective leaders and communicators adjust this balance depending on their context, sometimes dialing up approachability, other times highlighting their skill.

Tim: 5:48

Our brains process warmth and competence through different channels. And competence through different channels. Warranty comes across instantly, triggered by nonverbal cues like a relaxed smile, open posture or a nod of acknowledgement. These signals help others feel safe and understood. Competence, meanwhile, is detected through more analytical cues steady eye contact, a measured tone and how clearly you express your ideas. Studies show that charismatic speakers blend both. They use emotional stories to create a connection and back up their points with credible data or clear expertise. And it’s not about a perfect 50-50 split, but about reading the room and knowing when to lean more into one or the other.

Tim: 6:32

In professional settings, this balance can be tricky. A leader who only projects competence may seem cold or hard to approach, while someone who leans too much on warmth risks being underestimated and misinterpretations happen quickly, especially when signals aren’t aligned. That’s why it’s important to become intentional about how you present yourself, using active listening, genuine expressions and clear communication to send the right blend of signals. The good news is that this balance is a skill you can practice. It starts with self-awareness, noticing how your body language, facial expressions and tone influence the impressions you make. Even small adjustments like the way you angle your shoulders or the timing of your eye contact can shift how others perceive your warmth and confidence. Before you even say a word, your body language is already sending messages about who you are. Understanding what those signals are and how they’re shaping your interactions can make all the difference. Nonverbal communication shapes how others perceive you before you even speak. So body language, including posture, gestures and facial expressions, is a core part of charisma, often carrying more weight than your words.

Tim: 7:45

Charismatic individuals pay close attention to these cues, using them intentionally to project confidence and make others feel at ease. Yet most people overlook how small habits like slouching, crossing arms or glancing at a phone can undermine their presence in a room. So simple adjustments can have a big impact. Standing tall with uncrossed arms and keeping your hands visible signals openness and approachability. Open gestures, such as showing your palms or using relaxed hand movements, help convey honesty and warmth, but, on the other hand, closed postures, arms folded, hands hidden or feet pointed away can make you seem guarded or disengaged, regardless of your actual intentions. These physical cues set the tone for the entire interaction and influence whether others see you as trustworthy and confident. One subtle but effective technique is the strategic head tilt. Strategic head tilt. According to Olivia Fox Cabane’s research on presence, tilting your head slightly when listening signals genuine engagement and helps the other person feel understood. Combined with purposeful nods, this small gesture can encourage deeper connection and make your conversation partner more receptive to what you’re saying.

Tim: 9:03

Charismatic communicators often use these cues naturally, but they’re skills anyone can develop with practice. Taking up space is another key element. Adopting a wider stance or using the armrest when seated can project authority and confidence. This not only affects how others perceive you, but can also boost your own sense of presence in the moment. How others perceive you, but can also boost your own sense of presence in the moment. Open body language, relaxed shoulders, arms away from the torso, steady eye contact builds both warmth and competence.

Tim: 9:37

The two pillars of charisma and gestures also matter. Open hands and palms facing upward create an impression of transparency. Avoid fidgeting or unnecessary. Movement helps you appear more focused and composed. Mirroring or subtly reflecting the posture and tone of the person you’re speaking with can enhance rapport, but it should be natural rather than forced. Mastering these nonverbal cues doesn’t require dramatic transformation. Instead, it’s about making small, intentional shifts that help you express your best self more clearly and when your body language aligns with your message, you make a stronger, more memorable impression, setting the stage for every conversation that follows.

Tim: 10:19

Developing charisma is not about changing who you are, but about refining how you communicate your strengths through specific, learnable behaviors. As Jensen describes, charisma is a set of stylistic expressions anyone can master. Even small adjustments, like modifying your posture or practicing a strategic head tilt can boost your persuasiveness. As shown in studies on social influence, the most charismatic individuals make others feel genuinely understood by actively listening and giving focused attention. These are all skills you can build with practice For your next interaction. Challenge yourself to balance warmth and confidence. Show openness while clearly expressing your ideas and observe how people respond. Remember we’re looking for progress, not perfection. That’s all for today. Remember we’re looking for progress, not perfection. That’s all for today. Be sure to visit speakwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free e-book the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome them. You can also register for the Formula for Public Speaking course. Always remember your voice is the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time, take care.