Tim Newman Speaks: From Experience to Wisdom

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Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. In episode 69, danielle Droitsch spoke about tying self-confidence to who we are as individuals. This idea really got me thinking, because I have said for a long time that most people do not spend enough time thinking about who they are or why they are in some of the positions that they’re in, and this thought led to the idea of imposter syndrome and why we get stuck and cannot advance. So this episode is going to lay out a time-tested framework to help you figure out who you are and why you’re stuck.

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But here’s the brutal truth Reflection doesn’t happen by accident. The top 1% treat it as a non-negotiable habit. They schedule reflection like meetings, document it like scientists and act on it like CEOs. This isn’t just a motivational idea. It’s a proven system that separates those who grow from those who stay stuck. Most people assume growth happens automatically just because they’re busy or accumulating experience, but the shocking truth is without intentional reflection, you’re likely repeating the same mistakes and missing out on real progress. So why do most people get this so wrong? Most people fall into a subtle but damaging trap when it comes to reflection. They mistake remembering for real learning. It’s easy to replay what happened mentally, reviewing a tough meeting, a missed deadline or a failed project and believe that you’re making progress. But simply recalling events without examining them leads to repeating the exact same errors. The reality is most people end up repeating mistakes if they never truly reflect on why things happened the way that they did. And passive reminiscing feels productive. You get that sense of being thoughtful, of reviewing your actions, but this process skips the critical thinking required for actual growth. It’s like looking at old photos and mistaking nostalgia for insight. But this process skips the critical thinking required for actual growth. It’s like looking at old photos and mistaking nostalgia for insight. The difference between remembering and reflecting is subtle but crucial. Remembering is passive, it’s just replaying the tape. Reflection, on the other hand, is an active process that demands you ask tough questions and seek out lessons beneath the surface.

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John Maxwell, in his Law of Reflection, puts it simply Evaluated experience is the best teacher. So just having experiences, even a lot of them, isn’t enough. Without stopping to evaluate, you’re just accumulating years, not wisdom. Without stopping to evaluate, you’re just accumulating years, not wisdom. And Maxwell found that people who set aside time to actively review what happened and, more importantly, why it happened, accelerate their growth far more than those who just keep moving forward.

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Structural reflection, not just experience, is what drives improvement, and Maxwell himself uses daily and weekly reflection rhythms to catch patterns, spot small wins and identify blind spots before they become bigger problems. So instead of waiting for major failures to force a review, he builds reflection into his routine, and this approach ensures that each experience, big or small, actually contributes to growth. He recommends pausing regularly to ask what did I learn? What would I do differently? What’s my next step? It’s this cycle of intentional review that turns ordinary experience into a powerful engine for development. So if simply looking back isn’t enough, what does effective reflection actually require? There’s a specific approach top performers use, one that brings structure and depth to the process, making sure nothing important gets missed.

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John Maxwell’s Law of Reflection outlines a process called the four I’s. It’s investigation, incubation, illumination and illustration. These aren’t just steps. They’re the core elements that separate meaningful reflection from empty rumination. When you use all four, you move beyond just thinking about your experiences to actually learning from them.

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The first step, investigation, is all about asking the right questions. Maxwell recommends using his personal awareness list to dig deeper. Instead of glossing over what happened, you pause to ask what’s my biggest asset right now? What’s holding me back? What was my highest high and my lowest low this week? Which emotion helped me the most and which one got in my way? What’s my best habit? What’s my worst? What do I value most? These focused questions force you to confront specifics, not vague impressions, and they surface patterns that passive reflections misses.

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Next comes incubation. This is where you let those questions and observations simmer. Maxwell compares it to meditation giving your mind space to process instead of demanding instant answers. Rushing the step leads to shallow insights. Instead, let your thoughts sit for a day or two. Often, the best ideas and realizations come after you’ve stepped away for a bit. Incubation isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about giving your brain time to work in the background.

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The third step is illumination. This is the moment when things start to stick. Maxwell calls this the aha moment, the point when connections form and you see the lesson clearly. It doesn’t happen every time you reflect, but when you’ve investigated thoroughly and allowed time to incubate, these insights surface more reliably. It’s the difference between just remembering an event and actually understanding what it means for your growth. And the final step is illustration. Maxwell emphasizes that most ideas start as skeletons. They need to be fleshed out more before they’re useful. This means writing down your insights, not just thinking about them. Use the answers to the personal awareness questions as a starting point. By documenting what you’ve learned in detail, you make it more likely those lessons will guide your future actions.

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Missing even one of these steps leaves your reflection incomplete. If you skip the investigation step, your insights stay vague. Rush incubation and you end up with surface-level takeaways. Without illumination, you miss the patterns. And if you skip illustration, you forget what matters. But when you follow all four, reflection becomes a tool for real progress. So how do you put the four I’s into practice in a way that fits your schedule and actually sticks?

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Let’s break down the practical system you can use right now. It’s the three-step reflection system. This approach schedule it, document it and act on it translates Maxwell’s law of reflection into a set of habits that actually stick. Start with schedule it. Reflection doesn’t happen unless you carve out time for it. Reflection doesn’t happen unless you carve out time for it. Maxwell recommends a specific rhythm. Set aside 10 to 30 minutes every day for brief reflection. Block out one to two hours each week for a deeper review. Dedicate a half day each quarter and plan a longer annual session. The reason for this structure is simple Daily sessions help you notice small patterns and course corrections, while the longer intervals let you spot bigger trends and make strategic adjustments. Treat these appointments with the same respect you would a client meeting. Put them in your calendar and protect that time. Next is document it. This is where most people lose momentum.

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Maxwell emphasizes that real progress comes from writing out both your questions and your answers. Don’t just jot down vague notes like need to be better at time management, because don’t we all? Instead, use targeted questions from Maxwell’s personal awareness list what was my biggest asset this week and how did it help? What behavior held me back? What was my highest and lowest low, and what did I learn from each experience? Bullet points work well here. Keep them concise but specific. One executive found that switching to dated bullet lists made his insights far more actionable when things got hectic. The act of writing clarifies your thinking and gives you a record to revisit when you need perspective and finally act on it.

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Insights only matter if they lead to change. Maxwell’s research shows that people who follow through on their documented reflections are the ones who convert insights into habits. It’s not enough to recognize that you need to delegate more. You need to set a concrete action, such as test delegating the specific task by Friday and track the results. Turning general observations into specific, time-bound actions is what drives real growth. For example, instead of need better communication, write March 12th team meeting issue. Traced to unclear roles In the action. Build a racy chart by Monday. This level of detail makes it easy to measure progress and adjust as needed. And as you build this habit, you’ll notice the compounding benefits. Each session builds on the last and over time your insights become sharper, your actions more targeted and your growth more noticeable. The difference between passive remembering and structured reflections becomes clear and the results speak for themselves.

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Maxwell’s research shows that growth is never accidental. It’s intentional and built on a daily habit of structured reflection. When you consistently investigate, incubate, illuminate and illustrate your experiences, you transform the past from a source of nostalgia into a resource for future success, each small insight, captured and reviewed, act like interest on savings. It compounds, leading to real progress over time. So here’s your next step Before you move on open your calendar and block your first 10 minutes today for structured reflection, following Maxwell’s daily rhythm. Try it for a week and observe the difference. Your past isn’t just a story. It’s data you can learn from. I also encourage you to get a copy of John Maxwell’s book the 15 Valuable Laws of Growth. Live them and reach your potential. Remember we’re looking for progress, not perfection. That’s all for today. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free ebook the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome them. You can also register for the Formula for Public Speaking. Always remember your voice has the power to change. We’ll talk to you next time.