Building Confidence and Communication Skills in a Multicultural World with Maria Rincon

Tim Newman [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence. The podcast helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach. And I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today’s guest is Maria Rincon. Maria is a Colombian, Chinese TV host and United nations communications consultant turned public speaking coach.

Tim Newman [00:00:37]:
Maria, welcome to the show.

Maria Rincon [00:00:40]:
Hi.

Tim Newman [00:00:42]:
It’s so good to have you. You know, when we, when we talked before in our normal, you know, pre show talk, I was really impressed with the incredible amount of diversity and background that you bring. And one of the things that really struck me was the work that you do with the or did with the un. Can you give us a bit of background on that?

Maria Rincon [00:01:07]:
Definitely. So my journey with the UN started as an intern when I was completing my master’s in business journalism. And I wanted to use my communication skills for, quote, unquote, the good. So after working in TV for three years, I decided that I didn’t want any more of the entertainment industry. I wanted to use my communication skills for the better. And that’s how I went into the United Nations. Now my role was a communications intern and then I worked myself up to a communications consultant. And it was mostly internal and external communications.

Maria Rincon [00:01:39]:
So knowledge management, hosting, knowledge management, webinars for the internal teams, cross functional roles, but also external communications such as social media, including videos, as well as LinkedIn and X. Or back then it was called Twitter.

Tim Newman [00:01:58]:
Yeah. That’s amazing. You’re the first person I’ve ever spoken with that’s worked at. What was that like? The day in, day out, we all know what we see on tv. Just a bunch of, you know, diplomats and bureaucrats filing in and out and giving, you know, giving their talks, giving their speeches, what have you, what’s it like really on the inside and the behind the scenes. And speak, if you can speak specifically about the communications that go on between, let’s just say the office that you were in and other offices for other countries, you know, in the un.

Maria Rincon [00:02:37]:
Yeah. So I think the UN looks very shiny from the outside. So I’m sure that listeners are very curious about what the day to day looked like and not to let you down. But I have to be honest that it’s just a very bureaucratic organization like any other. And what I found was the most incredible part of it was working with teammates that were from all over the world. So I sat in a Team with people from Denmark, from Afghanistan, from the US Another Canadian from South America, from Mexico, from France and Portugal. So it was a very multicultural team. And that’s why I think I really enjoyed my time there, because I got to meet people that everyone speaks four or five languages, they’ve traveled a lot, and we all had a common mission in mind.

Maria Rincon [00:03:27]:
So that was really cool.

Tim Newman [00:03:29]:
And how many languages do you speak?

Maria Rincon [00:03:32]:
So I speak four. I speak Spanish, Espanol, I was born in Colombia, my dad’s Colombian. I speak Mandarin Chinese. My mom’s from Sichuan, which is known for hot pot and pandas. Speak English, and I also speak Cantonese, which is a dialect of Southern China spoken in Hong Kong.

Tim Newman [00:03:50]:
That’s amazing. And you travel all over the place. Where are you now? I think last time we spoke, you were in. You in Spain.

Maria Rincon [00:03:59]:
So I’m in Europe right now, and I’m currently based in Sweden and back home in Vancouver.

Tim Newman [00:04:05]:
Oh, wow, that’s. That’s awesome. You know, to be able to do that and travel again. Not only do you get to see and experience different things, but, you know, you can bring it back and you can kind of incorporate it and be able to really have better interactions with. With a wide number of people. I spoke with somebody just a couple of days ago who grew up in Africa, primarily was educated in the uk, but has worked with corporations all over the world. And kind of what she says is you have to really learn the different cultures, and that really does help you grow in all kinds of ways, but especially in how we communicate with others.

Maria Rincon [00:04:48]:
Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. I can relate to this so much. And currently I’m reading a book called the Culture Map. And it’s just put into perspective what I experience in day to day as a communicator, but adding, like, frameworks and different ways of looking at things, so adding theoretical point of view for it. So, for example, a lot of cultures are a bit more direct in their communication style, while others are indirect. And. And you can say that’s obvious.

Maria Rincon [00:05:18]:
I can give you a very specific example about my personal relationship. So, for example, my husband is German and he’s very direct in his. In his communication style. And for me, growing up in Canada, I’m like, it’s just a little bit harsh. So I like the sandwich approach. And, you know, receiving and giving feedback is super important in the workplace. And I’ve also adapted to giving feedback in different ways to. To my colleagues in the past, but also now to my clients because it really makes or breaks their relationship.

Tim Newman [00:05:52]:
It does And I think especially the younger generations. And when I’m talking about that, I’m really talking about the people that are in college now who don’t maybe not have a lot of outside experiences. They get lost there if they’re thrown into that type of environment where they, you know, they get an internship or a job or travel someplace and, you know, they don’t understand that maybe the culture, like you said, maybe the directness. I remember the first time that I went to overseas and into the Far East, I had to learn really, really quickly to not be as. As direct as. As I am, you know, because I’m Irish, German, so. So I do have a lot of that, you know, know, here we go. And get to the point.

Tim Newman [00:06:43]:
East Coast, United States. So that’s what it is. But again, it’s okay to learn and to step back and to really try and integrate into other people’s cultures when you’re in that environment.

Maria Rincon [00:06:56]:
Absolutely. And it’s also something I grew up with. My mom is Chinese, my dad is Colombian. I had so many different communication styles growing up with that and actually working in China. I had to learn to read between the lines because a lot of the direct communication actually happened underneath the layer of what people were saying. So I would never get a direct. No, but I would have to infer that what they were saying was kind of beating around the bush.

Tim Newman [00:07:22]:
Right, Right. So I’m going to kind of date some things here. And it’s funny that we’re doing this recording today on November 12th, so you’re literally one year out. On November 13th of 2024, you made your very first Public Speaking with Maria Instagram post announcing your transition to public speaking to a public speaking coach. How about that? So one year ago today. So what have you learned and what has the last 12 months been like for you?

Maria Rincon [00:07:54]:
I love that you did that research. Thanks, Tim. It’s been a journey, and I want to start with the positive. So the positive has been that I’ve actually found what I love to do, and that has to do with storytelling and communication and working with people. And at the bottom of it, yes, it’s teaching frameworks. Yes, it’s teaching things like body language and voice. But the foundation of it is essentially empowering people with more confidence in their communication. And it makes me so happy to see that the people that I work with have achieved real results getting promotions or doing presentations that they’ve received great feedback on and kind of also working on their imposter syndrome.

Maria Rincon [00:08:39]:
So that has been the most Exciting part for me now as a background, as someone with background in communications, my background is definitely not in business or marketing. And so I’ve grown a lot in the last year and kind of having more of a strategic bit business mindset and it’s, it has not been easy, to say the least.

Tim Newman [00:09:00]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that. Yeah, go ahead.

Maria Rincon [00:09:05]:
Yeah. So from the beginning, I started off as just being a communications coach to individuals at companies. And it’s grown to now working with more technical team members in companies. So engineers at Meta in New York, director of AI at a big public relations firm, and senior vice president at a huge hotel booking company in Southeast Asia. My clients are from all over the world and it’s made me realize like, wow, it’s because of this upbringing that I had that I’m very lucky to be able to tap into different cultures that I get to work with incredible people from around the world. And now my next exciting big step is that I’m going to be doing some more corporate workshops. So essentially my dream would be to go around the world and do corporate workshops teaching more about intercultural communication. But of course, at the heart of it, it’s storytelling and presentation skills.

Maria Rincon [00:10:00]:
So one year ago, I did not expect to be where I am today. But I love it. I love it.

Tim Newman [00:10:08]:
That’s so good to hear, especially from the standpoint of how much you’ve already grown just in that first year. Your skill set, how much your skill set has grown. You know, talk a little bit about the, the marketing where, you know, aspect where you say you haven’t, you, you weren’t prepared for that. What have you learned from that perspective? Because, you know, part of communication is, and part of what we do as, as coaches is number one, we have to, we have to, we do have to market ourselves and that, that, that personal, professional brand and marketing us as that. But what have you learned about helping others in developing their personal, professional. Helping them develop their personal and professional brands as well?

Maria Rincon [00:10:53]:
That’s a very good question. I’m going to take it from two angles. So from the external skills part, it’s essentially understanding the system of how marketing works. So it’s everything from learning about email marketing, newsletters, content production on LinkedIn, on social media, and then writing blogs, just expanding that digital footprint online so that people can find you. But also learning how to position myself because anyone can teach communications. There are thousands of public speaking coaches out there. But really finding what makes me unique and, and tailoring that to my icp, my ideal customer profile. Now on the deeper part of this, one of the things I’ve learned is to also work on my own self confidence in this journey.

Maria Rincon [00:11:44]:
I think one of the biggest things that I was allergic to was cold outreach because I felt like, oh, what if I’m overstepping with people? Or maybe deep inside I was afraid of rejection. However, now I’ve realized to not take that personally and just be confident and understand that, hey, what I teach, what I provide has value and to not take a no personally. So that has been one of the biggest learning curves in my own personal growth in this business. Because it’s funny to be the one teaching people how to be confident in their communication. But I also have to own up to it and lead by example.

Tim Newman [00:12:24]:
Right?

Maria Rincon [00:12:24]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:12:25]:
Well, number one, I like that you said that you’re allergic to it. I’ve never heard it put that way, but I think I’m going to steal that phrase because I’m also allergic to that. Very much so. And I appreciate your honesty with that because as coaches we’re supposed to be the ones that have it all together, but we’re really no different than anybody else. We have some of the same thoughts, anxieties, issues, problems that everybody else has. And you know, I think it’s good for our clients and the people that, you know, we’re coaching for them to see us that way, which helps them relate to us, which helps us, which also makes it easier for us to help them as well.

Maria Rincon [00:13:10]:
Yes, I think relatability is a big thing and for people to overcome something like the fear of public speaking or glossophobia, there needs to be connection. There needs to be on the other end of the coach. Like someone that understands what they’re going through can relate. Creates a safe space for non judgmental growth. So that’s. Yeah, that’s what I think.

Tim Newman [00:13:33]:
So let me ask you a question about non judgmental growth because you know that to me is also kind of a mindset shift from the individual. Because to me, the only people that are doing judgment is ourselves. Right. When we’re coaching other people or when there’s other people in the room, you’re on a team, they’re not really doing that judgment. Oh, you messed up. Whatever. You can’t stand up and talk about this project that you’re working on in front of our team. Nobody is actually even thinking about that.

Tim Newman [00:14:16]:
So again, that’s just, to me, that’s another layer of that imposter syndrome that we’re judging ourselves as opposed to just rolling with it and getting over it.

Maria Rincon [00:14:30]:
Yes. I’m a big fan of teaching the spotlight effect. So essentially this study does done at Cornell University where they put this student in a bare manila shirt back in like the late 90s, early 2000s and they made him walk around campus and at the end of the day they asked him, what percentage of people do you think noticed your shirt? And he looked down at his shirt, he’s like, oh God, this, oh, I don’t know, like 50%. Then they surveyed the students at the university and it turns out it was only 25%. So we definitely have this huge negativity bias on ourselves and tend to just over amplify the little things that we think are wrong with us when it’s actually not the case.

Tim Newman [00:15:13]:
Yeah. And it’s funny, you talk about a shirt. So this morning my wife’s in, she sells real estate and she does a couple other things and she was getting dressed this morning and she had to meet a couple of clients and she got all upset and so what’s going on? She said, I’ve got something on my shirt. I looked at it, I couldn’t even see it. I said, what is it? She said, well, I can’t wear this. They’re going to see the stain. I said, if you need to change, change. But I wouldn’t necessarily worry about that because that’s not what they’re worried about.

Tim Newman [00:15:51]:
They’re worried about making sure that you’re giving them good information so they could, so they can buy a piece of property. And so, so I don’t think she did okay. But again, okay, so again, I, I wasn’t even looking at the shirt, you know, back, back to your point, you know, because I was preparing for another interview before you and then after this I’ve got another meeting and then another meeting. So I’m, I’m listening and paying attention to her, but that’s not where my focus is. And the reality is, and maybe it’s just me as a guy, I don’t know, but I don’t, I don’t, I don’t notice clothes like that. I just, I just don’t, I don’t know, maybe just me. Yeah, so I don’t know. But anyway, so you’ve moved into the technical sector and one of the things that we talked about in the, in the pre call was that technical professionals, they struggle with foreign language speak anxiety.

Tim Newman [00:16:57]:
I can see that because it seems to me that they struggle with communication to begin with, just from what they do and the type of person that gets into that field. But what does foreign language anxiety actually look like, and how do you help them work through that?

Maria Rincon [00:17:11]:
So, yeah, flsa, what’s that tongue twister there? Foreign language speech anxiety, or speaking anxiety. Just when you’re speaking in a different language other than your native tongue. And basically pile on exactly what we were talking about just now, the imposter syndrome. Not able to get your own ideas across, feeling like you’re being judged for your accent, feeling like you can’t get the message directly as you would like. So it’s kind of like not having confidence in your communication, but amplified because you’re not completely fluent or you feel you’re not completely fluent in the language that you’re communicating in. And so because I work with so many international professionals and they all work in the common language, which is English, they come from different backgrounds, and this is something that they struggle with. And a lot of the times, what I’ve realized, it’s not that they need more vocabulary or that they need to work on their accent. It’s essentially just about, number one, gaining more confidence in themselves.

Maria Rincon [00:18:12]:
But number two, a very easy trick, which is just to speak. Speak slower. Because when we slow down, we’re able to give the other person a bigger chance to understand our words. And all accents are beautiful. I think that’s what I try to teach my clients, that it’s not something that they should feel ashamed about.

Tim Newman [00:18:30]:
Right, right. And I’m glad you said that, because I spoke with somebody about a year ago who they were told from, you know, mid teenage years up to about mid 20s, that they had to work on changing their accent because people couldn’t understand them. And that. That really kind of set him back and really kind of gave him a lot of anxiety until he got into his late 20s and early 30s and was working with a coach. And they said, don’t worry about what your accent is. Just like you said, slow down and people will hear you, and then people will actually relate to you, and then your accent becomes who you are and becomes also becomes a talking point, a talking piece. You know, where are you from? You know, that, that. Those types of things.

Tim Newman [00:19:20]:
So putting so much pressure on your accent and where you’re from, I think has done, done. Has not done a lot of people a good service.

Maria Rincon [00:19:29]:
And what I’d love to add to that point is essentially that reframe that just happens there. Right. Once seeing the accent as something negative, but now seeing it as something positive.

Tim Newman [00:19:37]:
Right, right, right. But let’s take that a step further. We always go to the negative in pretty much everything that we do is internally or what other people say. If we were to switch that around for most things, how much better and how much more growth will we see from others if we look at it from a positive perspective or approach things from that. From that bent?

Maria Rincon [00:20:04]:
Yes. One thing that I always tell my clients to do that actually is a very simple exercise, but gets them to reframe in real time, is something called an evidence log. So it’s essentially like an achievement list, but we say it’s called an evidence log because it’s clear proof that you have strengths, that you overcome challenges, and you have positive qualities about yourself. So it’s very simple. It’s just a table with columns, and essentially it’s starting with the date of an event, the event itself, what action you took, what went well, how you felt afterwards, and what this tells you about yourself. And then I get them to fill out maybe six or eight of those columns, and two, maybe two or four are personal, and then the other four are related to their professional life or public speaking and communication. And at the end, when they read all their strengths or what these experiences tell them about themselves, they’re able to just have a look and be like, wow, this is undeniable proof that I’m a great human being. And it’s because our brain is always on that negative bias.

Maria Rincon [00:21:12]:
So this exercise is something that I recommend to the listeners out there.

Tim Newman [00:21:17]:
Yeah, that’s actually a good exercise, you know, because like you said, everything or most things are negative, most feedback is negative. And to be able to make that mindset shift that everything is negative, if we look at things differently, we’re going to see so much more positive. And I was listening to a podcast probably about a week ago, and somebody in a CEO in a major corporation was saying that he got to a point where he was getting so much negative feedback from people around him, he had to tell his coach, I need you to tell me how good I am until I can wrap my head around all this other negative stuff. And then at one point, about maybe six to nine months later, he said, you know what? Okay, now let’s get back to looking at how I can improve, because I’ve learned how to take in and actually process the negativity, push away the things that aren’t appropriate and accept the things that are. And that is a pretty big mindset shift.

Maria Rincon [00:22:27]:
Wow. And it seems like that person was going through quite a bit, so I’m glad that they were able to express that to their coach. And the coach is able to provide like a little haven, even though it was temporary, until they could create that mindset shift for themselves.

Tim Newman [00:22:46]:
Yeah. So let’s talk about some of the younger generations or the younger professionals and how they communicate differently than we do. So what do you think has changed most between the Gen Z and the Millennials and how they communicate?

Maria Rincon [00:23:06]:
I don’t have direct sources, so I’m just gonna. I’m gonna give you my two cents and what I’ve experienced or what I see online, etc, but I unfortunately don’t work with Gen Z’s yet. I would love to. I would love to work with more students as well. I think that’s where the real impact comes. Oh. But actually I have recently, so I worked with a student at Babson College and she was a junior student that was coming from Indonesia. And I think in my head, well, we give Gen Z a bad rep, to be honest.

Maria Rincon [00:23:42]:
We give Gen Z a bad rep about how they communicate. Either that they can’t take feedback too directly, or that they don’t make eye contact when you order at a coffee shop, et cetera. But she was a perfect example of a really driven, ambitious young professional that knew the importance of communication skills in taking her academic and also professional career to the next level. So she had basically opened up her own NGO where she saw that in Indonesia there was a lot of corn grazing, there was a lot of farms that were growing corn, and the corn musks were being thrown away and burned. So that was a negative impact on the environment. What she did was that she encouraged local women and girls to make bags and wallets and shoes out of essentially sowing the corn. The corn. What are they called?

Tim Newman [00:24:47]:
The husk.

Maria Rincon [00:24:48]:
The husks. Together. Exactly.

Tim Newman [00:24:50]:
And.

Maria Rincon [00:24:51]:
And from there they could sell them in local markets and in the villages. And essentially she was telling me her story while she was preparing for an interview for an employer. So she’s the perfect example of someone that is dedicated, knows what she wants, has a big heart, and has a big goal in mind in life. So that’s my direct source for a Gen Z, actually. How do you see it, though? I’m curious, because you’re also an ex professor, correct? Or former professor.

Tim Newman [00:25:25]:
Yes. So I see both sides of the coin. Right. So for me, there’s the high achievers and the middle and then lower achievers in every generation. I would say this about the Gen Z as a whole. They are probably the smartest generation I’ve ever taught and I can’t figure out necessarily why that is. But even as I look at my granddaughter who’s five, at five, she is so much smarter than my daughters were at 5. Figure out why that is.

Tim Newman [00:26:07]:
But, but when, when you talk about Gen Z, not only are they the smartest, they’re also the most entrepreneurial. And your example with, with young lady from Indonesia is, is a point to that. But the problem that they have is that communication style. And you know, where let, let’s just say people from my generation, you know, I’m, I’m an Xer. I mean, I’m, I’m on that X Boomer line, you know, so I’m much older and I think I put a lot of that on us from that generation. And I’m talking bad about my generation now. There’s a lot of complaining, there’s a lot of this generation this and this generation that. But there’s no outreach, there’s no truly trying, well, there’s very little truly trying to reach out to them and build those connections and try and figure out or learn how they communicate so that we can make things better.

Tim Newman [00:27:06]:
It’s complain, complain, complain. And we know that the younger generation is not going to reach out if the older generation doesn’t. So there’s that gap. And I tell people all the time, stop complaining about it. Figure out a way that you can reach out to that generation and build bridges. Figure out why they’re doing what they’re doing, figure out what their priorities are. My priorities of work are very, very different than even my own kids, different generations and those types of things. Because you’re the one that’s the leader.

Tim Newman [00:27:46]:
Figure it out. And me personally, I try and surround myself with younger generations all the time. I, not just because I’m 12 mentally, but that’s where I get my strength from, you know, learning what they’re learning from them, you know, because they’re going to be seen and doing things that I have no idea about. And if I want to get better, the only way for me to get better is to learn what’s coming and put effort into them. So there’s that.

Maria Rincon [00:28:16]:
Definitely intergenerational communication is so important. I think that the foundation of it is that, number one, that self awareness and then number two, that empathy to be like, okay, what do you care about? It’s not just about what I want to talk about, what I care about, but what do you care about? How do you see the world? How do I listen to that? How do I connect with, understanding with that?

Tim Newman [00:28:39]:
You know, even some of the terminology that they use. So, like, my, My youngest daughter is 33. Okay. And so, so she, she’s even. I guess she’s a millennial, I guess. I don’t know. And when I go and I start doing what I do and I’ll pick up terminology that the Gen Z is using, and then I’ll start talking to her in Gen Z language. And it really upsets her.

Tim Newman [00:29:04]:
I mean, it really upsets her. She says, dad, stop talking like that. I said, well, you better figure this out because she has a child now. And I said, you better figure out. Figure this out so that you. Number one, so you can know what they’re talking about. Number two, so you can. I’m not talking about being the cool mom, but you can actually communicate with them.

Tim Newman [00:29:22]:
And you’re at a point when you’re about ready to start really stepping into some serious leadership roles. You have to be able to connect and communicate with these people. So I do it jokingly, but also understand that you’re going to have to figure some of this stuff out.

Maria Rincon [00:29:40]:
Yes. This reminds me when I was coaching this girl from Indonesia. She, she always said, I gotta. I gotta. In the interview questions that we were going over, and I was like, I’m. For me, it’s not a big deal. But in these formal interviews where you’re talking to employers and it’s a business setting, you can’t say I gotta. And then another thing they.

Maria Rincon [00:30:00]:
Yeah, and then the other thing is they would always end the sentence with so. Yeah, so it was like, so, yeah, this. So, yeah, so yeah, I. And I was like, we gotta, we gotta fix it. It’s not wrong there. It’s a polishing that needs to be done for specific interview cases.

Tim Newman [00:30:18]:
Yeah. The one that gets me is, I feel like, I feel like, okay, great.

Maria Rincon [00:30:23]:
You guys will do that as well.

Tim Newman [00:30:24]:
I’m glad you feel that way. But, you know, but that’s also habit and that’s also, you know, nervousness. That’s also the ticks, you know, whatever it is. And we all have them. And, and it. But, but again, it’s learning what they are and being able to control that. Like, like what you said before, before, slow down, take a pause and, you know, think through your answer, think through your statement, whatever it’s going to be. And a lot of times those things will just go away.

Tim Newman [00:30:59]:
So how about the, How about the way that they approach work, the younger generation? So my guess is you’re probably. I would never ask you how old you are. I know better. I’m not supposed to do that. But my guess is you’re probably in my daughter’s generation.

Maria Rincon [00:31:25]:
Yes. I’m not a Gen Z.

Tim Newman [00:31:29]:
How do you look at, you know, the. I wouldn’t say work ethic, but the way you approach work and personal time compared to the way, whether it’s Gen Z or Gen X or the boomers approach it. And how have you gone about communicating that with both those as well, so that they understand where you’re actually coming from and why you do the things that you do and how you approach work and personal time the way that you do?

Maria Rincon [00:32:05]:
I want to take it from the client’s perspective because maybe that’s more relatable for the people listening. So a lot of my clients are probably, I would say, millennials, late millennials, working professionals at huge companies, international organizations, companies around the world. They are ambitious, hardworking. They do more than the 40 hours a week, and they are always striving to get better at the things that they’re not. So their work ethic, on top of having a very demanding job and investing in themselves and investing in communication skills is very admirable. And so the work ethic I see in them is like, wow, they’re hustling.

Tim Newman [00:32:52]:
Mm.

Maria Rincon [00:32:53]:
For me, personally, I grew up in a very strict household with a tiger mom. So that’s a Chinese saying for a very strict mom. They say huma. And essentially, I was. I was under a lot of pressure to get straight A’s. I couldn’t date in high school if I went out, for example, today, I couldn’t go out tomorrow, so I couldn’t have fun two days in a row.

Tim Newman [00:33:17]:
And my weekends, not seeing any problem in that. Okay, go ahead.

Maria Rincon [00:33:21]:
And weekends were filled with not sleeping in, so getting up early at 8am Doing chores and going to Chinese school and all these extracurricular activities. So they shaped me to become the person I am today. And I’m thankful for that. But I realized that I also put a lot of pressure on myself as a kid, and that led me to overachieving, to going into beauty pageants and working in television, then striving to go into the UN and always looking for these markers of success and not really asking myself, what is success for me internally. So now I’m at a point where I’m trying to find the balance between work and enjoying life, but also knowing that it’s like the hustle time currently at this age, however, moving to Sweden has shown me a very different side. Because in the Nordics, work life balance is insane. As in, on A Friday afternoon at 3 or 4pm the office is empty. Everyone’s off to pick up their kids.

Maria Rincon [00:34:21]:
Parental leave is paid for almost 400 days and essentially everything is closed during the summer. So people take six weeks off. No one answers your emails. And it’s something that’s normalized here in the Nordics. So that’s my cultural take on hard work. Yeah, it’s very different.

Tim Newman [00:34:46]:
So how do you adjust to that? Because, you know, I take a, take a weekend off and I’m like, okay, it’s time to get back to checking email, making phone calls, and that’s awesome. That sort of thing.

Maria Rincon [00:34:59]:
You know, you like to stay busy.

Tim Newman [00:35:01]:
I do, I do. So how do you deal with it?

Maria Rincon [00:35:07]:
So for me, essentially I have the good balance of the hard work ethic from my Chinese side, but I also have the work hard, play hard side from my Colombian culture. So I’m focusing on enjoying the present, but also I’m working hard. For me, what that looks like is essentially now that I’m an entrepreneur or have my own business and now as a public speaking coach, I also tend to work on weekends as well. Not because I’m forced to, but because I also want to. I have a bigger flame because it’s like a mission that I’m driving versus working for a company. And so I want to put in more work because I’m also passionate about it.

Tim Newman [00:35:54]:
And I think that’s, I think that’s really the key. If you’re, if you’re passionate about what you do, you’re. It’s much easier to go about and doing those types of things as opposed to, you know, I look at it, you get to. Or you have to. Right?

Maria Rincon [00:36:09]:
Yes.

Tim Newman [00:36:10]:
You ha. You have to go to work. I, I get to do the things I want to do.

Maria Rincon [00:36:15]:
Right. That’s.

Tim Newman [00:36:16]:
That, that, that’s, that’s a, that’s a big thing. You know it. When, when you’re working for somebody else, even though you still may enjoy it, a lot of times there is that I can’t do that because I have to go do this. But when you, when you’re doing, when you. At least I found for me again now working for myself, yeah, I still can’t go do that, but I still get to go do these other things that I want to do and need to get done so that maybe I can get to do those other things another time. It’s not that have to type of, type of thing.

Maria Rincon [00:36:50]:
And it’s much more rewarding, I think at the end of the day. It has its ups and downs. It’s definitely much more rewarding.

Tim Newman [00:37:00]:
Absolutely. And let’s talk about storytelling real quick before we go. A lot of people don’t see the importance or the power in telling stories. So for those that don’t see that, how do you get them to step forward and to incorporate, number one, developing stories and then incorporating those stories into an interview or presentation or team meeting, things of that nature.

Maria Rincon [00:37:29]:
Listeners out there who don’t think stories are important, I’m going to give you a number and it’s 22. Okay. So stories are 22 times more memorable than facts alone through a study by Stanford University. I think it was called the Women’s Innovation Hub. So you can fact check that from my Tim, but I’m sure that’s the correct statistic.

Tim Newman [00:37:52]:
Yeah.

Maria Rincon [00:37:53]:
The other thing here is for those that do know that storytelling is important, I’m going to let you know a little secret. And it’s that the best leaders out there know how to communicate value through stories because they have something called a story bank. So if you are thinking, well, I do want to tell stories, but I don’t know where to start. Here are some tips on what stories to think about. So number one is your origin story. So who you are, where you come from, what you’re working on right now and the why behind that. So why is it that you do so important? Number two, it’s the challenge and transformation story. So what challenge have you gone through in your life that makes you who you are today and what has that taught you about yourself? And then number three, it’s a success story.

Maria Rincon [00:38:41]:
So something that you’re proud of that you bring value to other people or a lesson that you can share through sharing that success. So those are three stories that you can already start to think about. And some of you may think that some people are just born extroverted and born natural storytellers, but it’s actually a skill that you can learn. And stories are repeated countless times and they come naturally. But it’s also the work you have to do in number one, writing up the story and then practicing it. And an insider tip is that to have different versions of your story. So have a 30 second elevator pitch of your story. Have the 3 minute version for a presentation or a podcast.

Maria Rincon [00:39:24]:
Well, maybe not three minutes, that’s a little long. Let’s say two minutes. And then have the 10 minute version for when you are with close friends or building trust with an important team member or a client. So essentially figure out what your three Top stories are for your story bank. Continue to understand the importance of them and tailor them to a different time frames to start using them in your everyday life.

Tim Newman [00:39:49]:
Yeah, and, and don’t put too much pressure on yourselves either, because they’re your stories. You lived them. You know, you, if, if you, if you say something that’s maybe a little off, nobody’s going to know. It’s, it’s, you lived it. I’m not telling you to purposely lie, but as you’re telling the story, right, as you’re telling the story, you know, it’s your story. But, but to your point is you have to practice them and you have to know when to pull story A or story B or whatever it is and make sure that it’s appropriate for whatever situation that, that, that you’re in. And that’s one of the things that I’m really working on right now with, with my coach. We’re developing a bunch of three minute stories, you know, a bunch of them so that, so that, you know, depending on where I’m at or what stage I’m on, I can take, I can have a whole bunch to be able to put into the plan that would actually fit that.

Tim Newman [00:40:49]:
They’re already there. It’s much easier to put a keynote together if you have a bunch of stories that you can fit in different places. But it does take time and it does take practice. And you do have to find the right stories at the right time. But the more those things that you can do, the better off you are.

Maria Rincon [00:41:08]:
And don’t be discouraged if the story doesn’t come through the first time or people miss it like a joke, et cetera. It’s just a practice. So practice makes perfect in this scenario and it’s about building that muscle of storytelling.

Tim Newman [00:41:25]:
Absolutely. And it’s, you know, just, you know, from my perspective, some of the stories that I’m telling, even my wife hasn’t heard yet. So when I, when I, when I write a story, I’ll send it, I’ll do it. First thing I do is I, and I’m not saying the way I do it is the right way. The very first thing that I do is I, I brain dump, I just brain, brain dump it in there, organize it and script it. And then I’ll put it in teleprompter and read it. And then I’ll, I’ll, I’ll get better at the, at the emotional and the tone type of thing. And then I’ll let my wife listen to it and she’ll say, I’VE never heard that before.

Tim Newman [00:42:09]:
So there’s. There’s. I got a few of them, and then I send them off to my coach, and, you know, he’s looking at the terminology that I’m using, the pacing, you know, the breasts, all those different types of things. And he sends me back feedback, and I’m like, are you kidding me? You know, this is the first time I’m telling that story. You want me to do this? And he laughs and say, if you don’t start doing it now, you could tell that story 15 times. And then you get into a rut of telling that story, and then it’s so much harder to. To make the changes that you actually want to make. So make the changes earlier, and then that also becomes a practice of being better at it later.

Maria Rincon [00:42:53]:
Yes. And I think that’s the perfect approach, honestly, to brain dump first, to just have all your ideas on a piece of paper or on notes on your laptop, and then figure out which stories really speak to you the most, but also what you want to share, that’s values or experiences, strengths, challenges, et cetera. And then drilling your solid fight, practicing on camera, and having live feedback. I think that’s. That’s awesome. I think one of the biggest things some of my clients struggle with in storytelling is that they get tired of telling a story again and again or it feels too robotic or too rehearsed. And the tip that I have here is to. To every time you’re telling the story, to put yourself into story itself.

Maria Rincon [00:43:41]:
So tell it as it’s happening in this moment. Of course, there are techniques in language and how you say things, but using language, that can really help take you back into that specific moment. So you’re essentially transporting the audience into that story with you instead of you just narrating something. And that after many, many times, could also have, like, an emotional disconnect because it’s been repeated so much.

Tim Newman [00:44:06]:
Yeah, exactly. And if you can make them feel like they’re there with you, that’s gold. It’s cold.

Maria Rincon [00:44:12]:
Yes.

Tim Newman [00:44:13]:
So.

Maria Rincon [00:44:14]:
Because if they’re there with you, they also feel with you, so they feel with it.

Tim Newman [00:44:18]:
Right, right. They feel that exact same emotion that you’re feeling, and it makes. It just. It makes a story come off almost like it’s natural, like you’re truly right there in that moment. But if you think back to your early career, what’s one communication mistake that taught you a lasting impression?

Maria Rincon [00:44:41]:
Very interesting question. A communication mistake that I made.

Tim Newman [00:44:46]:
Yes.

Maria Rincon [00:44:48]:
That I’ve had to fix. Let me know how I did in this podcast. But as a Latina, I speak so fast. And even though I am a public speaking coach and I teach communications, I’ve done a TedX talk, been on countless stages, and behind the camera or in front of the camera, I speak way too fast sometimes. And before it was maybe nerves, sometimes I just get very excited. So what I continue to work on is speaking a little bit slower. That’s one mistake I did in the past. I spoke way too fast and it gave the impression that I was trying to finish speaking as quickly as possible because I was nervous.

Maria Rincon [00:45:34]:
And that also portrayed me as someone that wasn’t very confident because it made me seem like I wasn’t confident enough to take up the space to, to talk. So temporal confidence in not only how I stand or how I walk, but also how fast I speak. And I actually just attribute it to a cultural thing. Spanish is such a fast language, very fast in comparison to English, but it’s something that I’ve had to tweak and continue to tweak over the years.

Tim Newman [00:46:07]:
So how about speed in terms of Spanish and Chinese?

Maria Rincon [00:46:13]:
Ooh, that’s a good question. I still feel like. So one of the two quickest languages in terms of tempo in the world are Japanese and Spanish. I don’t know where Chinese falls on there.

Tim Newman [00:46:28]:
Okay.

Maria Rincon [00:46:28]:
But Spanish is definitely a very quick one and it’s my mother tongue, so.

Tim Newman [00:46:35]:
Was. I’m a fast talker as well. And part, part of that for me is I’ve got adhd, so my mouth is trying to keep up with my brain and it’s impossible. But anyway, you know, as I think about it, you know, Spanish and depending on where you are, at least in the United States, how fast you speak. Right. So. So the Northeast United States, you’re. These people talk really fast.

Tim Newman [00:47:02]:
You know, Southern United States is kind of have a slow draw. You know, Midwestern is kind of, I wouldn’t say slow, but just kind of a even keel, medium paced, you know, type of thing. And so, you know, even, even American English, depending on where you’re from, you’ve got to be cognizant of your normal, you know, your normal pace when you’re speaking.

Maria Rincon [00:47:35]:
Yes. And I think it’s also maybe if we simplified. It’s like big cities are fast, people walking pace, speaking fast, because time is running out versus outside of those big cities, people just have more time. People just have more room for making conversation. And it’s a little bit slower.

Tim Newman [00:47:56]:
Yeah. Well, Maria, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. Where can people connect with you?

Maria Rincon [00:48:03]:
So I am Quite active on LinkedIn. I write about public speaking tips, communication tips, as well as things like imposter syndrome and confidence. So I’m on LinkedIn as Maria C. Rincon or if you’d like to find out more about what I do, you can find me at www.publicspeakingwithmaria.com.

Tim Newman [00:48:24]:
That’S awesome. And I’ll put all those links in the show notes. But Maria, it has been my pleasure. I’ve really enjoyed the conversation with you. I love the diversity and the cultural diversity. I’ve learned a lot. Like number one, the last piece. I had no idea that Spanish and Japanese were probably the two fastest pace language in the world.

Tim Newman [00:48:47]:
And then really trying to think about how you especially somebody like you who speaks four different languages. God bless you. I speak dad and then English, so I speak two. And to be able to be as good as you are doing that, that’s just amazing. So thank you so much for sharing that with us today.

Maria Rincon [00:49:10]:
Tim, thank you so much. It’s been a real pleasure as well.

Tim Newman [00:49:13]:
Are you Take care and we’ll talk to you soon.

Maria Rincon [00:49:15]:
Take care. Bye.

Tim Newman [00:49:18]:
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers now to Overcome. You can also register for the Forming for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change your world. We’ll talk to you next time. Take care. Sam.