Building Resilience and Communication Skills for Student Athletes with Kenisha Brown-Alexander

Tim Newman [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on a journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today’s guest is Kenesha Brown Alexander. Kenesha is a trailblazer in the sports industry with experience leading major events for organizations like the Miami Dolphins, the Super Bowl Committee, the Orange bowl committee, and more. She’s a certified life coach, adjunct professor, speaker, and founder of the Brainerd Tomorrow foundation, which is dedicated to guiding individuals through life’s toughest challenges, transforming pain into purpose, fostering resilience, and embracing new beginnings through the foundation. Her signature program, Game Changers United, supports student athletes in balancing academics, athletics, and their personal life by promoting mental well being and spiritual growth.

Tim Newman [00:01:15]:
Her inspiring journey of resilience and faith uplifts others, reminding them that even in life’s darkest moments, a brighter tomorrow is always within reach. Kenesha, welcome to the show.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:01:26]:
Thank you, Tim. Thank you for having me.

Tim Newman [00:01:29]:
Oh, this is. This is going to be a. I’d like to say a fun conversation, but we’re going to talk about some. About some serious issues that need talked about. I mean, ultimately, because for the most part, we as a society, you know, brush these things under the rug or just discount them. But before we, you know, really get into some of those issues, I want to talk with you about sports, and then we can get into the important things, you know, from a professional perspective. You know, you and I have a lot in common. We are both student athletic trainers.

Tim Newman [00:02:08]:
We both have sport industry experience and operations, both college professors, et cetera. But what have you seen in terms of the communication skills of young professionals over the last few years?

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:02:19]:
I mean, if I could be transparent, please do. You know, it’s lacking, unfortunately, this generation, you know, it’s different. That’s probably the easiest way that I can put it. And that is honestly half the reason why I decided to become an adjunct professor, because, especially in the sports industry, because obviously, I can’t speak for any others, but here, you know, it definitely requires, you know, students to step up, to give it all you got to show up, you know, to give the grit. You know, they think that it’s just all fun and games. And while, yes, it’s sports and it’s fun, you know, it definitely requires a level of tenacity in order to be successful in this industry. And so communication, for one, is something that I believe lacks. But I make it a point to emphasize that in my classroom.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:03:13]:
If you ask any of my students, you know, they know with Professor A, it’s about the details. It’s about, you know, the little things. I tell them all the time I will pull up their assignment on the board and I tell them, do you see these four bullets? If you follow these four bullets, I promise you will do well in this class or you’ll do well on this assignment. But they also know that I do that because that is a real life skill and a skill set that they’re going to need when they leave this classroom. I’m teaching allied sports science. They don’t really need that, but I’m going to teach you through life skills, and I’m going to teach you those interpersonal skills that you’re going to need for whatever career that you have. And so I think that if we all, like persons like you and I and other professors that are out there, are very intentional about the things that are necessary and they use that in the classroom and utilize that, I think the students will be fine. But it’s on them, you know, to, to step up and want to do this.

Tim Newman [00:04:11]:
It really is. And, you know, what I found over the last few years of my, you know, career in academia was I was spending more time teaching soft skills and communication skills than I was, than I was the content. And part of that was because it doesn’t really matter what, you know, if you can’t communicate.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:04:28]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:04:29]:
It really doesn’t matter.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:04:30]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:04:31]:
And you know, what we do in the sport industry, it’s not rocket science. It’s not like they’re going to be doctors. I mean, that’s, that’s not like they’re going to be architects building bridges. You know, you’ve got to be able to have good interpersonal relationship skills. You got to be able to talk to people. You have to be able to think critically on your feet. Yes, all those, all those types of things.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:04:51]:
But, you know, and I tell them all the time, you know, obviously they’re, they’re young adults, so they’re not made to come to class and things like that. And obviously things happen. But I tell them you have to communicate. Like, you should send me an email to let me know if you’re not going to show up to work when you get out of here. Like, you can’t just not show up. Right. You have to communicate that, you know, so just like you said, those interpersonal skills, I’m Doing my very best to try to get that ingrained in them in these, you know, four, four and a half months that they at least take that with them when they leave me and go out into the rest of this world.

Tim Newman [00:05:28]:
So let’s take that just a step further. And you were the manager of the volunteer program for the 2020 Super bowl in Miami, which I don’t think people understand what an undertaking that actually is. Right. And so you’re just a manager of one segment of the overall experience. The overall experience. Right, right. So. So give everybody an inside look.

Tim Newman [00:05:55]:
You know, what, what did you actually do? How many volunteers was it? I mean, how many different people are you, are you dealing with? Give us a quick overview of what that’s like.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:06:04]:
Sure, sure, sure. So I break it down like this. Of course, everybody knows Super Bowl Sunday. Everybody knows that’s the big game. You know, that’s what we’re all here for. But for the city that is hosting the game, there’s a week long of events. So they may or may not televise that. You may or may not even hear about it.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:06:23]:
Everybody knows about Sunday. And so for the. The host city that is hosting the game, they establish a host committee that are is basically the boots on the ground for the NFL because the league office is in New York, so those guys can’t move down to the cities where the game is being held. So they have to rely on the host committee to give them direction, to give them guidance. They don’t know the best restaurants, they don’t know the best venues to host, you know, all of the different events. So they rely on the host committee to give them some insight and, you know, some directives on, you know, best experience for them. So within all of that, you have the volunteer team, the host committee. Let me back up.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:07:04]:
The host committee is actually a nonprofit organization. While the NFL is a for profit, the host committee is a nonprofit. Therefore, that is why there is a need for volunteers. And so the volunteers are helping with the host committee events because there are actually events that are assigned to the host committee. But then there’s also roles that are sometimes even paid positions that are available for Super Bowl Sunday. And so as the manager over volunteers, we were required. We’re not required, but we were tasked with recruiting 10,000 volunteers. And that is again, because there is Super Bowl Live, which is a free event that the host committee does that runs the full seven days of super bowl week.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:07:51]:
Then there’s the super bowl or now an NFL experience that’s usually held at the convention center in that city. And so the NFL asks for volunteers to help support that event. Monday of super bowl week is opening night. So, so that is when the teams are first in town and they’re having their media night. And so there’s volunteers needed for that. And then of course, from a hospitality perspective, at the airports, at some of the more popular hotels, there are a need for volunteers because again, you’ve got people coming from everywhere, even international. And so they don’t know anything about the city. Perhaps they’ve never visited there before.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:08:30]:
So volunteers are the folks that are familiar with the city. They know the best restaurants, they know where to get your nails done, they know where the barbershops are. You know, they can help from a hospitality perspective for the guests who come into town. And so it’s a year long process. You know, we started literally as soon as the former game was over. So for us it was Atlanta. So as soon as that game was over, we opened up our portal for volunteers to register. They go through a screening process, they go through a background process, they go through an interview.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:09:03]:
And eventually, you know, we narrow it all the way down. I think our end number was maybe right around 8,300. We didn’t quite get 10,000. I think because Miami has held so many Super Bowls that, you know, maybe fatigue, but nevertheless, you know, we’ve got, we lean on corporations to bring, they can do it as a group, you know, if they want to do it as a staff outing in the sports, sports management world for colleges, there’s colleges that will bring a group of students that want to get that learning experience. And so, I mean, I would say we had at least 45 universities that would bring a group of students to come down and they, you know, get the experience of, you know, working the super bowl game. So yes, it was a daunting task, but it’s a lot of fun. You know, you meet some great people and a lot of these folks have remained friends of mine throughout the years, especially still, you know, keep up with them today. So I love it.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:10:02]:
It was good.

Tim Newman [00:10:02]:
Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a daunting task to, to do that. And you know, again, just because the Super Bowl’s over on Sunday at, you know, 10:30, 11:00′, clock, your job isn’t necessarily over yet because you still have all the, the wrap up, the wrap and the cleanup into this and that and, and you know, communication with it, with the next city.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:10:23]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:10:24]:
Those types of things. You know, what about the Level of communication that has to take place in just, in coordinating, let’s say 8,300 volunteers on top of the other, all the, all of the other committees and all the other people that are, you know, because that’s just one cog in the wheel of that whole event.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:10:41]:
Yeah. So it definitely requires some management processes, if you will. So we use a tool called rosterfy, where the volunteers would have like their own portal, if you will. And so on the back end, on our side, from the staff perspective, you know, we go in and we assign them their shifts and they get the notifications of when their shift is coming. They get all the detailed information as far as parking and meals and all of those things. So it’s nearly imp. We were a staff of three, so it was nearly impossible for us to single handedly try to communicate without having some sort of automated tool. And so that tool was very helpful for us.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:11:22]:
You know, even if we had to send out real time messages or something changed, you know, we could send that alert and they would get a text message. So communication is definitely necessary. You know, even for us though, even though we were the internal team of three, you know, it wasn’t just us. There’s a, there was a hierarchy. So when we first started, we identified a, like a, a leadership committee, if you will. And that was 10 individuals that were really strong in various areas and they could, like we could communicate to them. And so of those 10, they had a subset within their group. So they were each assigned to a special sector.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:12:01]:
Somebody was hospitality, somebody was managing headquarters, someone was managing the uniforms. And so under them then they had captains. So under them they had captains that had their own shifts and schedules. And then you had general volunteers. So, you know, it wasn’t as if I was directly talking to a general volunteer. I would communicate my information to one of the leads and then the leads would disseminate the information because it was broken down into smaller groups, groups. So I think it was important for us to establish some sort of workflow in that way because there’s no way that I can have hundreds of people calling me and texting me and trying to reach out to me. That.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:12:41]:
No, that was never work.

Tim Newman [00:12:43]:
Right. But you know, your message has to be really clear. Right. Because we know how messages get diluted or words can be true one way or the other.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:12:53]:
We’ve all played the phone tree game.

Tim Newman [00:12:55]:
And think about how, how catastrophic that could be if one word is messed up or, you know, you know, or time is wrong. Right. Think about this. If let’s just say, you know, the shifts are three hours. You put a shift off by an hour.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:13:17]:
Wrong. Yeah, that matters.

Tim Newman [00:13:20]:
It does, it really does.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:13:21]:
Yeah. I mean, it affects anything. Parking, you check in all of the things. So yes, you know, we, we, that’s why the leaders that we chose, they had to be strong, they had to be professionals, you know, in their day to day work. So we knew that we can rely on them, on the details.

Tim Newman [00:13:37]:
Yeah. You know, and we, we talked about how important this stuff is. But you know, I tell students all the time, all the time that nobody really cares about sports. Nobody cares. And we know this because on Super Bowl Sunday, other networks have ratings.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:13:55]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:13:57]:
You know, nobody cares how many points somebody scored or who’s going to make the playoffs. I mean, because in the scheme of life, it nobody, I mean, it doesn’t really mean anything. Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:14:08]:
It’s minor in comparison.

Tim Newman [00:14:10]:
It’s minor. We care because it’s our industry and it’s.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:14:14]:
Of course, of course.

Tim Newman [00:14:16]:
But I try and tell students to get out of that mindset and try and put it in perspective, put it into perspective of the people that you’re communicating with so that you could build that relationship so that you can see how it actually does matter and how it does relate to people. And I bring this up because now we’re going to start getting into some of the serious talk here because you, you’ve said that sports saved your life.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:14:44]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:14:46]:
What do you mean by that?

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:14:47]:
What do I mean by that? Well, in a nutshell, I lost both of my parents very early in life. So I lost my dad at the age of 12 and my mother at the age of 21 and she passed while I was in college. So, you know, I’m a college student, just, I don’t know, Nothing. Right. I’m trying to figure it all out. And so unfortunately, you know, I was working as a. Well, I was studying to be an athletic trainer and I was a student trainer as well. And you know, the semester after she passed, I returned to school and I went right back to my responsibilities.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:15:28]:
But unfortunately my supervisor wasn’t very empathetic to the grief that I was experiencing and just the need for support and just to be loved on by my family. That a request home to see my family was denied. And when she denied that, that was the last day that I was a trainer. But that was also the day that I attempted to take my life because I just felt like, what am I doing this for? You know, I was barely hanging on as is and you know, I I hadn’t graduated, I hadn’t accomplished anything. You know, I hadn’t gotten married. You know, none of the monumental things that you, you know, would do in life, you know, those things hadn’t happen. You know, I was just confused as to why am I even still here. But gratefully, you know, my life was spared.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:16:18]:
You know, I’m a woman of faith, and so I believe that, you know, God knew that I had other things like the super bowl we just talked about on the horizon. But in that experience, I came through it. I ended up transferring schools back to my hometown so I could be closer to my family. But when I transferred, you know, I had failed so many classes, you know, just being there, taking care of my mother, that I was encouraged to change my major from exercise science to Sports administration. When I changed my major, I had to have an internship. And I won’t go through the whole story of the internship process because I’ll end up dating myself. But I ended up landing an internship with the Orange Bull Committee, which is in Miami. And so I’m originally from Kentucky, so I just call it a blessing that, you know, I would end up in sunny Florida, of course.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:17:14]:
Right. And then Miami, Florida, where it’s sunny like, you know, I don’t know, 99% of the time. And so having that opportunity, getting down to Miami and it was a double hosting year, which means it was an Orange bowl game and a national championship, it literally saved my life. You know, it literally gave me an opportunity to be, be in and around sports again, to be, you know, in a sunny environment, to have some fun and to be able to put the things that I was going through and the grief that I was feeling, you know, to the side, so to speak, for a moment, and just kind of thrust myself into this experience. And so that obviously was the catalyst to my career and, you know, obviously was the start of everything that I’ve been able to do. But I do believe that having something that brought me joy outside of, you know, just the things that I had been through, definitely was the saving grace for my life.

Tim Newman [00:18:10]:
Yeah, and thank God for that, you know. You know, the. I think we get lost sometimes. You know, sports is supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to be. It’s supposed to be, you know, the place where we all come together. Yes, but in that, you know, you know, taking it just a step further, you know, from. Had a young man a couple weeks ago commit suicide.

Tim Newman [00:18:37]:
Yeah, that tragic. And what we have is we’ve got the. These young people in college who don’t. Don’t have the skills, don’t have the. The support systems. Right. And when I say that sports doesn’t matter sometimes, like you said, in this person’s life, that was the only thing that was keeping him around.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:19:09]:
Right, right.

Tim Newman [00:19:11]:
And, you know, we’ve come a long way in how we deal with mental health and how we deal with these types of issues. Talk a little bit about what you’re doing in terms of helping student athletes and the support systems for those that are affiliated with athletics.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:19:30]:
Yeah. So obviously, I’ve known that I had some purpose work. Right, right. You know, you don’t just experience this for the heck of it. I don’t believe that I’m supposed to have just lived this and just go on. I definitely know that I’m supposed to do something in this space, but for a while, did not know what that was. So I’ve always just worked in sports and events and the fun side, the stuff that, you know, people clap for, the stuff that I don’t care about, I’m just, you know, gifted to do it. You know, it don’t matter to me.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:20:06]:
But it was not until December of 2023, and I. As you mentioned, you’re in my bio. I am an adjunct professor. And so December of 2023, as a faculty, I received an email of a young woman on the women’s basketball team that had commit suicide. And when I received that email, I was completely distraught, to be honest. You know, obviously, we hear about it, and we know that it happens, but when it’s on your campus and you get the notification, it’s a different kind of feeling. And particularly, you know, it took me back to my journey, my own story. You know, I didn’t know the young lady.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:20:47]:
I had one of her teammates in my class that was about as close as I was, But I knew that whatever she was going through, she felt that that was the only option, and that is what I could relate to.

Tim Newman [00:20:58]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:20:58]:
And so in that, I said, all right, Kenesha, you know, you’ve done a lot of great things in sports. It’s been a fun ride. But how can we stop this? How can we put an end to this? Like, what can you do with your voice, your story, your overcoming to help this? And so there is where my program, the Game Changers United, was initially birth. You know, I knew I wanted to combine sports and combined my purpose and just being a light and being an inspiration in some sort of way when the pandemic hit. And of course, we didn’t have any sports. I became a certified life coach to help just regular individuals with grief and loss.

Tim Newman [00:21:40]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:21:40]:
But again, I did not know it was going to morph into this. I knew I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what. And so it’s kind of ironic that all of the puzzle pieces start to come together when you find your purpose, but. Yeah. So I started the Game Changers United program honestly, just for me to have a way to support colleges and universities with their initiatives and endeavors. Obviously, the NCAA mandates mental health awareness and referring their student athletes to the campus counselors, or even if they have one in athletics. But what I believe and what I feel is that some of these departments, they want to do more, but they just don’t have the capacity to do so. They don’t have the time.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:22:26]:
If you’ve got a program with four and 500 athletes and it’s only one, maybe two of you, it’s not enough. And so that’s where I want to support them. Like, hey, I want to use all these years in sports, all of these years in events, and to help you create something on your campus so that a Kyron Lacey doesn’t happen again. So that they have a place where they know I can be vulnerable, I can be safe, I can share in my experiences with other students here and not feel alone, because that was my issue. I felt that I was the only person on this green earth that was having an issue, which was not true. But you feel like that when you’re in the middle of your trauma and your experience. And so this is to help mitigate that and to help bring some sort of community on campus so that students don’t feel alone as they’re experiencing life issues.

Tim Newman [00:23:18]:
Yeah. It’s something that obviously that we really need, and it’s long overdue. There’s so many other issues that go into this, because for whatever reason, each individual situation, either people, they don’t know how to ask for help, which is a problem. They don’t know who to ask for help. They don’t. They don’t know what to ask for. And, you know, what I found is that if you just speak up and say, I need help, I think there’s a ton of people that would say that would.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:23:53]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:23:54]:
What can I do? But without. Without, you know, knowing how to ask or knowing who to go to or.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:24:01]:
Whatever, or feeling comfortable with the. With that person, that individual.

Tim Newman [00:24:05]:
Right. And it’s. That. That’s also a problem, too, whether it’s. Whether it’s a coach Whether it’s a strength coach, whether it’s the athletic trainer, whether it’s a professor, you know what, what’s going to be the blowback. Right. And I’m not, I don’t want to throw anybody under the bus, but you go to a coach and it says, well, okay, well, you’ve got these other issues. I’m moving.

Tim Newman [00:24:25]:
I’m moving on to somebody else.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:24:27]:
Oh, that’s a real thing. That’s a real thing.

Tim Newman [00:24:29]:
Or a professional say, well, it’s not my problem.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:24:32]:
Yeah, no, I, I hear that. That’s part of the reason why we’re doing this this way. Because they don’t feel comfortable going to their coach. Yeah, they feel what I. Because again, I have student athletes that support me in this and are on the board so I can get their real life insight. And they say exactly that. They’re, they’re reluctant to go to their coach because they think there’s going to be ramifications. They may, they may understand, but then they may think that that means they need time off or they need, you know, to pull back on their playing time.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:25:01]:
And it’s like, that’s not what I’m saying. I just want you to know me as a human being and I want you to know that my mom is sick or my grandma just passed, you know, know that there’s other things that happen in my life other than me playing with this ball and. Yeah, that. That’s a very real thing.

Tim Newman [00:25:17]:
You know, and for the majority of these, these kids, they’ve got what, three, four seasons? Yeah, maybe. Maybe last week. Maybe this is their last week.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:25:29]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:25:30]:
And, you know, there’s the pressure that. Whether it’s the real pressure or the perceived pressure. Because there’s both. There’s both. And not knowing how to deal with that, coupled with the societal pressure, coupled with the academic pressure, there’s a lot going on. And I think in, in that entire space, those pressures and things need to be looked at and how we’re approaching them from the academic piece, the whole idea of grades. Oh, you better get a good grade. You better hurry up and get a good grade.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:17]:
Yeah, they’re eligible.

Tim Newman [00:26:18]:
Right. You better hurry up and do whatever you got to do. Which also leads to other. Other behaviors.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:26]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:26:28]:
And now all of a sudden it comes to a head, and now what are we going to do?

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:34]:
And now what?

Tim Newman [00:26:34]:
Because now it’s a problem. Right? It wasn’t a problem before. Because we didn’t care about it. Right. Because we didn’t care about it.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:43]:
Right, right, right.

Tim Newman [00:26:46]:
But now. Oh, now, now we have to deal with it.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:50]:
Now we have to do something as.

Tim Newman [00:26:51]:
Opposed to dealing with some of these other things before they become problems.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:26:54]:
Exactly. Being proactive instead of reactive. Yeah, yeah.

Tim Newman [00:27:00]:
So I, you know, there, there’s. I love the work that you’re doing. What can we do? Or how can we help students to, to learn how to ask for help or, you know, because again, even if. Let’s just say you had, you had a. I don’t know. Yeah. You had one person who. This is the person you go to for help.

Tim Newman [00:27:21]:
Ultimately, bureaucracies are bureaucracies. Right. And we know what’s going to happen. Right. Because that’s what happened. I mean, that’s just what happens.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:27:33]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:27:34]:
How do we, what advice can we give to students to say, okay, it’s okay to go to somebody, you know, and yes, there’s gotta be a comfortability there, but there also has to be somebody who can, who knows and who can actually do something to help.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:27:51]:
Yeah. So it actually, I’m gonna flip it. It starts on the side of, I’m gonna say the adult. Because even though these are young adults, side of the adult. Because again, what I have discovered, just kind of working with my own student athletes, they’re just big kids, you know, they’re big, strong, tall, long wingspan. But they’re kids at the end of the day, you know, until 25, 26, and they graduate their kids. So it’s on the adult in the situation to make themselves available, make themselves vulnerable. They need to share more of theirselves in order for the athlete to feel comfortable.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:28:28]:
Because I can tell you all day that I have the credentials. And I mean, I’m referring to like the mental health counselor.

Tim Newman [00:28:35]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:28:35]:
I can tell you all day that I have the credentials. Oh, I’m a licensed therapist and I, you know, went to this school and all of these things.

Tim Newman [00:28:41]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:28:42]:
But if I can’t see myself in you, or if I can’t know that you’re safe, I’m not going to come to you. Your credentials mean nothing to me as a 19 year old. So it’s on that licensed professional or the coach or whomever to say, hey, you know what? I know what you’re going through because I experience X, Y and Z. One of my favorite phrases that I always share is that there is relatability in vulnerability. That if some of the coaches and the staff would take their mask off and show themselves and relate to them and say, hey, look, I struggle with this too, or my girlfriend broke up with Me when I was an athlete too. The more that they share, I guarantee you the athletes will be like, oh, coach, I didn’t know you went through that. Oh, man, I didn’t know you lost your mom too. When you can be vulnerable and you can share the human side of yourself and not just be seen as an authority, that will open up the door for them to be comfortable and say, hey, look, let me get your thoughts, let me talk to you.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:29:45]:
Because you can relate to this. And I’ve seen that personally. The more I started sharing my story, the more people started coming and connecting. And so I just think the same thought applies to the administratives and the coaches. It starts with them in order for the students to be more reluctant to come and speak.

Tim Newman [00:30:06]:
Yeah, and I’m glad you brought that up. And I just want to make a couple points here. You know, not everybody’s trauma is the same, but it’s still trauma.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:30:19]:
It’s experience. Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:30:21]:
And I think a lot of times what happens is I’ve been guilty of this. Well, okay. But you know, this person over here is going through much worse than you are. You need to get together. And that’s really probably. That’s not the way that.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:30:34]:
Yeah, you can’t do that.

Tim Newman [00:30:35]:
You can’t do that. Each individual is an individual and each individual experience is their own individual experience. And we need to make sure that we approach it from that perspective. And that I think is key. But I’m also glad that you said that it’s up to us as the adults to move that forward and take that step. And I’ve been saying this for about a number of different issues. Not just the mental health piece, but anything but the communication piece. It’s up to us to.

Tim Newman [00:31:12]:
It’s no longer just fall in line and get in line and do it because we.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:31:17]:
Those long days are over, gone.

Tim Newman [00:31:20]:
And it’s up to us as the older generation, as the air fingers quote leaders, to reach out and say, okay, what’s going on? This is how we need to do things. But please give me your feedback or I mean, tell me what you’re feeling, tell me what you’re thinking about. Whatever it is, about the process, about the steps, it doesn’t really matter, but we can’t just expect things to be done. You better, I’m knife handing you now. You better hurry up and do it because it doesn’t work anymore.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:31:54]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:31:55]:
And I truly believe that if more people from the older generations were to just kind of take a step back, put that ego aside and say you know what, let’s reach out and find out what’s actually going on. Let’s see what they actually think. Let’s get their thoughts and opinions. I think things would move forward so much better and everybody would be more productive.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:32:23]:
Yeah. I mean, it’s necessary. And the, the longer it takes for these schools to get on board and these, you know, coaches to open themselves up, you know, unfortunately, you may still have situations like we’ve been seeing, you know, and so that’s why my program is a little different because again, I have this. The idea that they’re kids. Right. So you have to create these environments that are comfortable for them. What does a big kid want to do? They can play games. Uno and dominoes.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:32:57]:
And we’ll have a game night, or we’ll just sit up and have a movie night. You know, you have to create the environment that is welcoming for them to want to, A, come.

Tim Newman [00:33:05]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:33:06]:
And then B, you know, actually want to have the conversation. So it requires effort. You know, you just can’t throw something out there and say, oh, y’ all come to circle. They’re not doing that.

Tim Newman [00:33:16]:
Exactly.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:33:16]:
You know, so it requires some strategy. And that’s why I’m taking the burden off of these athletic departments to say, hey, I have figured it out. I know, I know what they need. So allow us to bring it in and implement it on your campus so that it can be something that is long term.

Tim Newman [00:33:36]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:33:37]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:33:37]:
And, and, and just so everybody understands, this is just a Division 1 major college problem. This is a, this is an every.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:33:46]:
It’s top to bottom college.

Tim Newman [00:33:47]:
It’s every college problem. Yeah, every college. I mean, you can’t go, you can’t go to a college, university or a place of higher education and not find somebody who is in this position.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:34:00]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:34:01]:
Because it’s just a microcosm of society. Go down the road. It’s probably going on in your workplace. You don’t know.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:34:08]:
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Tim Newman [00:34:08]:
You know.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:34:09]:
Yeah, we’re just specifically relating to, you know, sports and, and athletics. But this is everywhere. You know, we’re in different times now.

Tim Newman [00:34:18]:
So let’s get together.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:34:21]:
Yeah, for sure.

Tim Newman [00:34:24]:
So, so talk about resilience and how, how can we, how can we build that resilience to, to. Because it’s not like, again, you can’t just wake up and say, okay, today’s better. I’m, I’m getting over it today and I’m going to get it done. How do we build resilience in young people when, when they’re going through Whatever it is, it could be something small, it could be something big.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:34:52]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:34:53]:
I mean, because ultimately, you know, we have to move forward. We have to. We have to. To get them to understand that. Yeah, you got to move forward.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:35:02]:
Yeah. I think it goes back to what we like to say, you know, in the speaking world, what’s your why, you know, why are you doing the things that you do? Because that’s going to be the thing that helps you to get out of bed, not necessarily the absolute, you know, you. But if you have something bigger than yourself, you have a. A goal or you have someone that is bigger than you should not be attached to, like anything monetary. But if you have a reason that you want to keep getting up, that is something that you have to reflect on when those tough times come. And so, you know, I. I’ve obviously have tried different things and personal endeavors and all of the things, and some have been successful and had, some haven’t. But I think the resilience of keeping going when the times get tough and when you’re having setbacks and things aren’t working out for you, you have to remember what got you started in the first place, you know, because it’s not going to be smooth sailing in.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:36:00]:
In really anything. So you have to remember, well, why did I start? Why did I go back to school? Why did I change careers? Why did I, you know, move to this city? You know, you have to remember that part of the thing when adversity strikes. And so, you know, it may not be something that you overcome instantly or, you know, within a day or what have you, you know, but it gives you something to hold on to. It gives you something to remember in those moments as you’re still trying to pull yourself, you know, out of that space and get back to, you know, who you are. So I just think it’s important to have a why, you know, and be. Be for real, you know, understand that if it’s bigger than you, you know, you’re more inclined to keep going because somebody or something is dependent on your resiliency.

Tim Newman [00:36:50]:
Yeah. And I think the piece that I struggle with is. And I keep. I feel like. I feel like my grandfather, you know, young people these days, these kids these days. But my guess is, I was there, too, is that they don’t really know who they are. They don’t spend that time thinking about that why until later in life or until there’s a problem. And that just makes it so much harder just, you know, but you got to have it.

Tim Newman [00:37:30]:
And maybe that’s Something that we as a society needs to do a better job of helping the younger generations to start thinking about that, to start thinking about who they are and what their core values are and what gets them going, what excites them, what do they, you know.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:37:52]:
Yeah. You have to have an identity and something beyond this.

Tim Newman [00:37:55]:
Yeah. You know, I call it the innards. My innards. I mean, I know what I’m excited. Right. And I know what it is, and I know that feeling I feel throughout.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:38:05]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:38:07]:
And you. You gotta be. They gotta figure that out. I think they figured out when they’re younger. And again, things may change as you get older, but if you figured out when you’re younger, how much better is life going to be for you?

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:38:20]:
Right. If we could start earlier, you know, there are some. There’s some thoughts of that, you know, this, this pathway would be a little more simpler, may not be as rocky as many of us have experienced, but, you know, it’s all trial and error. You know, we, we even as a child, you know, you try four and five different sports until you find your favorite one, and then you keep on going with that till you’re ready to get better and do it better. So, yeah, again, it kind of goes back to the parents. It kind of goes back to, you know, your authority figures and, and your leaders, you know, to help mold and shape and kind of instill that early. So that when you get down the road and life really, you know, rubber meets the road, as they say, you have something to pull on. But if.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:39:07]:
Even if you don’t, you know, that’s why persons like myself and, you know, other people in these spaces are trying to help you to. All right, well, if you didn’t get it before, you can get it now because you still have the rest of your life to live. And so. And these are going to be those skills that you’re going to need because life is going to continue to meet you and meet you well. And if you’re not ready, you know, oh, it could be a setback that you’re not prepared for.

Tim Newman [00:39:34]:
Yeah, but, but. And that’s the other thing that they have to understand.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:39:37]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:39:37]:
It’s. Something is going to be. Happen to them in their life, it’s gonna happen that they’re not going to be prepared for.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:39:43]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:39:44]:
I mean, it’s just. That’s. That’s called life is what happens. And, but like you said, having that good, that good grounding, having that, that, that core, you know, for. I don’t want to speak for you, but for people like you and me who come from the faith background. Yeah, we, you know, we have that to, as a, I mean, for me, it’s an anchor.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:40:07]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:40:08]:
And you know, and I’m not saying people have to do that. I mean, it’s up.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:40:11]:
I mean, yeah, of course, of course. Well, you, if you come though, I’m going, I’m going to share it.

Tim Newman [00:40:18]:
Right.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:40:19]:
I know you go talk to somebody else.

Tim Newman [00:40:20]:
But, but you understand what I’m saying here? You’ve got to have it. You got to have some anchor, something bigger.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:40:28]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:40:29]:
So. Well, Kenesha, thank you so much for, for spending some time with us today. I really do appreciate it. Where can people, you know, work with you or find out what you’re doing to get involved all, all the good stuff that you’re doing? I mean, you’re coaching, helping with, with what’s going on in college campuses. Where can they find you?

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:40:48]:
Yeah, so you can find me personally, I’m on Instagram at Kenesha Nichelle. N as in Nancy Nichelle. LinkedIn is a good place, too. You know, I give a lot of good tips and information about the Game Changers United program as well as tips and tools for students and student athletes. So Kanesha Brown Alexander on LinkedIn and then Game Changers United. So Game Changers United.com Game Changers United on Instagram as well. So, yeah, you know, if anybody’s interested in connecting and want to learn more or how you could get Game Changers United on your campus, please, let’s, let’s connect. Because at the end of the day, this is about these students.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:41:27]:
You know, we’re just trying to save a life and try to make sure that they successfully get through their collegiate career.

Tim Newman [00:41:33]:
Absolutely. And they have skills to move forward as you get older as well.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:41:37]:
I mean, right.

Tim Newman [00:41:40]:
This is a long term endeavor for sure.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:41:44]:
For sure.

Tim Newman [00:41:45]:
Well, again, thanks so much. We’ll put those links in the show notes. And again, Kenisha, I really appreciate you coming on and sharing what you’re doing. You’re doing the work.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:41:55]:
Thank you.

Tim Newman [00:41:57]:
And anything I can do for you in the future, you just let me know.

Kenisha Brown-Alexander [00:42:00]:
I appreciate it, Tim. Thank you so much.

Tim Newman [00:42:04]:
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Forum for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time. Take care.