Tim Newman Speaks: Why Silence is Your Most Underrated Speaking Tool

Tim: 0:08

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, a podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results Communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Make sure you hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. Have you ever given someone advice only to realize later that you gave them bad advice? That’s exactly what I was doing when I started my career as a college professor. When my students were giving presentations filled with filler words, I just kept telling them to stop. Stop using filler words. Then one day, a really good student came up to me pretty upset and said you keep telling us to stop with the filler words, but you’ve never told us how. It was like a gut punch. I thought I was helping and all I was doing was making things worse. You know that was a pivotal moment for me as an educator.

Tim: 1:11

I started to research strategies to help people reduce the use of filler words, not just in presentations, but in everyday conversations as well. You know most advice focuses on eliminating filler words altogether, but research shows that that’s not enough. And even if we did get rid of all the filler words, we wouldn’t sound natural. You know, top TED speakers, for example, average about 155 words per minute, not because they rush, but because they use deliberate pauses and they measure pace to sound more confident and clear. In this episode you’ll get a step-by-step plan to replace filler words with three core techniques Slowing down your speech, using strategic pauses and substituting fillers with intentional silence. By the end you’ll have practical tools to sound more confident in any high-stakes conversation.

Tim: 2:06

But why does talking faster actually make fillers worse? Many people assume that speaking quickly makes them sharper or more intelligent, but neuroscience tells a different story. The faster you talk, the more you overload your brain. It’s not just about being able to think quickly. Your brain is simultaneously retrieving words, organizing thoughts and making sure your message makes sense. When you speed past 160 words per minute, your brain literally has to buffer, and that’s when ums and uhs slip in. Imagine your mind is a computer running too many programs all at once. When it gets overloaded, everything starts to lag. Those filler words are like your brain stalling while trying to catch up with your mouth. So instead of sounding more articulate, you end up sounding less certain and less credible.

Tim: 3:02

In fact, a study by BYU found that audiences trust speakers less when they use more filler words. The more ums, uhs and likes etc. That you use, the more your authority takes a hit. Now here’s where the research gets interesting. A Stanford analysis of hundreds of TED Talks revealed that the most engaging speakers those whose messages stuck with the audience spoke at an average rate of about 155 words per minute. That sweet spot between 140 and 160 words per minute led to 15 to 20% better audience retention. So not only do slower speakers use fewer fillers, but their ideas are also more likely to be remembered. This isn’t just true in public speaking. Business pitches delivered around 160 words per minute are rated as more credible than those given at a faster pace. Listeners find slower speakers are more trustworthy and they’re more likely to remember what was actually said.

Tim: 4:05

When you talk fast, your thoughts can outpace your mouth and you start inserting verbal speed bumps to fill the space while your brain catches up. You don’t need to speak slowly, just find a pace where your mind and your mouth stay in sync, and when you do, you’ll notice those filler words start to disappear. But there’s another tool that top speakers use to sound confident and in control. It’s not just about speed. It’s about what you do with silence itself. Confident speakers share a skill that often goes unnoticed. They use silence as a tool, not a crutch. Watch skilled leaders or TED speakers and you’ll notice a pattern. They leave space between ideas, letting their words land and giving listeners time to absorb what’s important. And here’s what the science says Most listeners don’t consciously register pauses under about a second and a half. Pauses under about a second and a half. That means you have a window to gather your thoughts, emphasize a point or simply breathe without anyone perceiving any hesitation. In fact, a Columbia Business School study found that when speakers paused just before and after key statistics, audience retention of those stats jumped by about 30%. These pauses act like a highlighter, drawing your attention to your message and making it more memorable.

Tim: 5:30

Consider two speakers delivering the same content. One fills every gap with a or like, while the other uses short, intentional silences. Time and again, audiences rate the second speaker as more competent and confident. This isn’t just about perception Pauses can have a real physiological effect. Coaches report that pausing triggers a calming response, lowering your heart rate and helping keep your nerves in check. So, while it may feel uncomfortable at first. Using silence can both help you and make you feel more in control.

Tim: 6:07

What’s the ideal length for a pause? Research shows that anything between half a second and two seconds is perceived as natural and purposeful. A Harvard Business Review analysis found that a two-second pause can boost recall by about 20%. If a pause stretches much longer it can start to feel awkward, but frequent brief silences allow your audience to process what you said and anticipate what’s next. The fear of silence is common, especially when you’re nervous, but learning to pause on purpose gives you command over your delivery. That’s why many vocal coaches recommend marking pauses directly into your notes, building muscle memory. For when the pressure is actually on, pause a signal that you’re in control and that you trust your message enough to let it breathe.

Tim: 6:55

So how do you use this technique to cut out the uhs and yums and sound more polished? Let’s look at the two-second solution, a practical way to replace filler words with something far more effective. Professional speakers don’t just avoid saying um or uh, they intentionally substitute those fillers with purposeful silence. The key is to treat the urge to use a filler as a cue to pause, rather than to fill a space with unnecessary words. This approach might feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s one of the most reliable ways to sound more polished and confident. To put this into practice, start by becoming aware of your own speech patterns.

Tim: 7:33

Communication coaches and organizations like Toastmasters recommend recording yourself during everyday conversations. Play back the recording and count how many times you use fillers like um, uh, like, etc. Most people are surprised to find they use 3-5 fillers per minute, and the number often doubles when they’re under pressure. By identifying your most common filler words and the situations where they arise, you give yourself a clear starting point for improvement, and research supports the power of pauses. One study found that speakers who paused for a second and a half were rated as 20% more thoughtful than those who only paused for about half a second.

Tim: 8:13

Silent pauses under two seconds usually go by unnoticed, but they make your delivery appear more composed and deliberate. The process is straightforward Pinpoint your go-to fillers. Next, choose two moments in your next conversation to replace some of the pause. Gradually increase the length of these pauses from a half second to a full second or more as you grow more comfortable. Speech coaches note that this incremental approach helps you build confidence without feeling forced.

Tim: 8:43

Remember pauses do more than eliminate filler words. They also help you land your message In legal and business settings. Speakers who pause before delivering key information see higher retention and engagement from the audience. You see, silence acts as a spotlight, drawing attention to what matters and giving your listeners time to absorb your message. If you find silence uncomfortable, you can use simple bridging phrases like let’s look at this or that’s a great question, to maintain flow without resorting to fillers. These transitions keep your speech organized and help the audience follow along.

Tim: 9:22

As you practice this technique, try counting one Mississippi in your head when you feel a filler coming on, or simply take a breath instead. Apply it in low-pressure situations first, such as ordering coffee or describing your weekend, or even chatting with your friends. Over time, these small adjustments will become second nature. With consistent practice, you’ll notice measurable changes in your speech and confidence. Many people notice a meaningful drop in filler words after just a few days of focused practice. Some training programs report up to a 40% reduction in that short time. This progress happens quickly because our brains are already wired to use science as part of our natural transition.

Tim: 10:03

To get started, try inserting two intentional pauses in your next conversation One before you answer a question and one after you make an important point For tracking communication. Experts recommend recording yourself for two minutes each day and tallying your filler words. This method gives you clear feedback and helps you notice patterns. The initial awkwardness passes quickly and, while your listeners won’t detect the brief pauses, they will notice your increased clarity. Authority in speaking comes from owning the silence and delivering each word with intention. Remember we’re looking for progress, not perfection. That’s all for today. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free e-book the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome them. You can also register for the Forum for Public Speaking Group. Always remember your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time, take care.