Building Resilience and Confidence Through Mindfulness with Cesar Cardona

Tim Newman [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence Podcasts that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach. And I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to become a powerful communicator. I want to thank each and every one of you for your support. It truly means the world to me. If you have questions or if you want something covered in the podcast, just send me a message.

Tim Newman [00:00:39]:
Please visit timnewmanspeaks.com to get your free eBook, the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. Today’s guest is Cesar Cardona. Cesar is a public speaker, co host of the podcast Beauty in the Break, and mindfulness educator certified by Rice University. Shaped by his diverse upbringing and profound life experiences, he inspires audiences with stories of resilience, connection, and growth. Cesar’s talks weave personal insights through universal truths, empowering individuals to embrace inclusion, mindfulness, and the shared human experience. Caesar, I’m so looking forward to this conversation. Welcome to the show, bud.

Cesar Cardona [00:01:21]:
Tim, thank you so much. I appreciate you very much. Thank you for being here with me and thank you for everybody listening.

Tim Newman [00:01:28]:
You know, we did our, our pre interview talk a little bit ago and, and we, we talked a little bit before we just jumped on here and you know, there’s some of the things we talked about are really go to how we view and see the world and how we choose to go and see the world and go through life. And we’re going to talk a lot about mindfulness and that’s really what it is that we talked about. But I really want to start with your journey. You have a really unique story. Can you share that briefly with us?

Cesar Cardona [00:02:07]:
I can. Yeah, I can. So I was born in Jacksonville, Florida. I live in Los Angeles now for the last 10 years. This is my home. Go Dodgers. But my parents were quite opposite of each other. My father was a New Yorker and a Spanish man.

Cesar Cardona [00:02:24]:
My mother was a Floridian and a black woman. And what’s more to add into that is that one of them was a Republican and the other was a Democrat. So I got these dynamic ways poured into me. They also didn’t really get along either. So I got a lot of, a lot of aggression and friction living in that household. And to be honest, it wasn’t a good upbringing. I’m not, there’s no really joy there about it, but I’ve made amends to that. My parents and I would get along quite well.

Cesar Cardona [00:02:55]:
They became better people. But living with those two really different people with different ways of seeing the world really had an impact on me.

Tim Newman [00:03:09]:
You, so growing up in that environment, I mean you, you, I, I can only imagine the, the, the, the, the, the push, pull, the you know, the tug shove that, that you’re dealing with. How did, how did that really kind of shape your, your, your mentality and growing up so see the world and your resilience to overcome some of trauma? I, I don’t, I don’t know, I don’t put words in your mouth. But, but to, to me it would be trauma. To, to me it would be, you know, not really truly understanding where you kind of fit, where, you know, how you, how, how did you, how did you develop resiliency to become what you’ve become today? Yeah, let’s just put it that way.

Cesar Cardona [00:03:59]:
Sure. You, you’re using all the right words by the way. They’re 100% were. It was trauma. It was endless amount of trauma and a lot of stuff I took with me as an adult that I never wanted to take with me and it took me a long time to get through it. To go to your question about how do I maintain the resilience for it, you know, it’s a question I’ll be probably mulling over for the rest of my life. Right. But what things I have picked up on was that even with those two parents being so opposite, both of them are strong people.

Cesar Cardona [00:04:34]:
One parent is very resilient and book smart and very good at following instruction and rule and the other one is very street smart and very good at innovating and finding new ways. And I picked up those also. So even in that, you know, horrible childhood, there was a part in me that lived within that that just wouldn’t let go of their portion of the reins on the chariot of my life. They just wouldn’t. And I was lucky enough to hold that with me wherever. And that’s a real, you know, heady practical or impractical way of saying it to be more practical about it. I just felt that there was something wherever within me that I, that, that was that I could still tap into even at the worst points of my life, even thought times where I thought I didn’t have it. The resilience comes from recognizing the ever change of time, recognizing that no matter how bad something is, it reiterates to something else.

Cesar Cardona [00:05:38]:
And I saw those, I started seeing those patterns in that, in that mindset and without knowing it was going to turn out for the good. I just kept again riding the, the change of time. I kept being, I checked, I kept trying to be a better surfer in the waves of life.

Tim Newman [00:05:55]:
So it’s, I enjoyed the words that you’re using because, you know, it’s a, it’s a different way of looking at things.

Cesar Cardona [00:06:05]:
Right.

Tim Newman [00:06:06]:
I mean, if, if somebody on the opposite end of the spectrum would use very different words to communicate that. And you’re, to me, you’re using, you’re using positive action words forward looking as opposed to negative words looking backwards.

Cesar Cardona [00:06:24]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:06:26]:
And you know, I, there’s all kinds of quotes out there, but, but one that you, that I, that I hear a lot is you’re either getting better or you’re getting worse. There’s no standing still. You’re either moving forward or you moving backwards. There’s no standing still. And I think the people that I probably admire the most are the ones that, you know, can, I wouldn’t say compartmentalize, but, but find ways to move forward no matter what is happening, no matter what’s going on around them, whether it’s, you know, bad things for them, whether it’s bad things for their friends or family trauma, you know, finding ways to, to deal with those things and move forward without letting whatever that is hold them back.

Cesar Cardona [00:07:18]:
Right. Yes. Yes. I, I, I fundamentally believe, I fundamentally believe that every single thing that happens in your life, there is some sort of value to learn from it. Good or bad or neutral. I give talks about growth, mindfulness, and one of the subject matters are dealing with the people in your lives who are the. Yeah, Butters. Right.

Cesar Cardona [00:07:43]:
Yeah, but you can’t do this. Yeah, but that’s too hard. Yeah, but you gotta have to pay this money. Yeah, but you’re gonna have to, so on and so forth. You can, you can, you can butt yourself into a wall all you want. Right, right. Even those people, there’s something from which you can learn. At the very least, it’s learning what that.

Cesar Cardona [00:08:01]:
Yeah, but sounds like. So you know how to avoid it in your own thinking. Right. At the, not at the very most, but at a more dynamic way, it’s learning about why people will say that most people’s giving you. Most people telling you about the fears you should worry about are just their own fears that are projected out onto you. You know, So I think that that is a lot of what kept me going was knowing that every single iteration, every single moment of life outside my mind and my like, living space, my room or now my apartment or my house or whatever, everything Outside of that is like the bee gathering pollen.

Tim Newman [00:08:47]:
Okay?

Cesar Cardona [00:08:48]:
You’re going out, gathering. Every moment, every experience is pollen out there. When you come home, you take that pollen, you turn it into honey. That’s how I see most of my life.

Tim Newman [00:08:59]:
And that’s to me knowing a little bit more of your story that you share with me privately. That’s a phenomenal way of looking at things and a positive way of looking at things as opposed to some of the ways that you could have or other people do. And I think it’s so important, you know, from, from my audience’s perspective to understand that everybody has things that, that is going on in, in their life that at some point the only way to move forward is to, is to move forward and find ways to, to take those issues that are holding us back. And we’re just, you know, really, you know, on this podcast we’re really just talking about how we communicate, right? Finding ways to, to get over that, that hump, to be able to communicate. And again, not diminishing anybody’s issues here.

Cesar Cardona [00:09:56]:
No way.

Tim Newman [00:09:57]:
Some people have, have big strong issues or things that hold them back in how they communicate because of maybe how they were brought up. You don’t ever, don’t, don’t ever, don’t ever ask any questions. Don’t ever, don’t ever look at me that way. Don’t ever do these types of things. But we have to be able to move forward.

Cesar Cardona [00:10:15]:
Agreed. I totally agree. It for me it’s a, in this case to, to your point of what you’re saying, it’s a two parter one. Every single thing that bothers somebody is a valid point. It’s valid because if you brought it up, that means it’s hitting you at some deeper level, right? So it’s worthy of looking at and recognizing. And also you don’t have to live with that forever, right? It’s two sided, like give it attention, it’s asking for attention. Even if it’s something as small as the pebble in my shoe is making me angry. I guarantee you it’s not about the pebble and guarantee you it’s about something else that is in your way and that you pull on that thread, you’re gonna find more things.

Cesar Cardona [00:10:57]:
So validate it and recognize that you can transcend it as well. You can work through it also.

Tim Newman [00:11:05]:
Yeah, and such a good point that it doesn’t matter what it is. Seek help, ask. You know, because you know what? I, and I’ve been accused of living with rose colored glasses for forever. I Generally think people are good. I think people are good.

Cesar Cardona [00:11:27]:
Yeah, I would agree.

Tim Newman [00:11:30]:
And I think if you tell somebody that or you ask somebody, can you help me with this? Most of the time they’re going to say yes. Or if they can’t help you, they’re going to say, sorry, I can’t help you for whatever reason, but try this person. Very few people are just going to say no, get out of here.

Cesar Cardona [00:11:48]:
You’re right. You’re absolutely right. And anybody listening to that can just go test that themselves. Quite often, quite often people will, they’ll give you something and, and at the very least they’ll empathetically say they can’t. That is an implication that they still care. They’re just not able to help. Right. I couldn’t agree more.

Tim Newman [00:12:05]:
And so find, finding that strength to ask for help in whatever it is is that’s, I think that’s always the first step. Except for, you know, I, I, I think I don’t want to get into this too much. There’s, there’s a video that I, that I watch on the regular. I mean it’s, it’s a short minute and a half, two minute video. It’s a guy talking about how as, as men, as men, as grown men, it’s hard for us to make friends. It’s hard for us to reach out just because of what society has done or what we have allowed society to say is equal. Do you see that? Because I fall into that trap too. I’m normal just like anybody else, right? And he said we should have five, five types of friends.

Tim Newman [00:12:54]:
And one of them is, is the type of friend that you can go to with anything, anything at all. And they, they’re only looking out for what’s best for you. Not, not about work, not about a relationship. But they’re talking about you and how you are, how’s your heart? If you don’t have one of those types of friends that you can go to with those types of things, you need to find somebody because those are the people that can really help you and guide you to get through some of these things that we’re getting ready to talk about.

Cesar Cardona [00:13:29]:
You’re right. Think of every movie, every story, every book, every, whatever, that person on that journey. At some point they’ll meet at least one helping hand along the way. Typically they find a group of people, the allies, right? The fun and games that they find together. And those people don’t carry our, our lead character, right? They don’t pick them on their shoulders and say, all right, we got you, we’ll take it. That’s not how it works. Everybody goes together. So you are accountable for your own journey and your friend will help you clear the way the same manner in which they’re accountable for theirs and you help them clear the way.

Cesar Cardona [00:14:07]:
Yeah, I, I, when I give this, whenever I get to the a topic while I’m speaking to a company or whatever or school, if I start talking about leaning on friends, I almost always go to the fact that not one dime did I see in the wizard of Oz Dorothy be carried by the Tin man, the lion, the Scarecrow or any other version of that because they all had to go and walk it together. Now they did help each other along the way, that’s the point. But you also got to walk that thing too. And it’s two sided. And, and, and to go back to something we said a minute ago or a little earlier is you and I are at this point in our lives now where we kind of have this maybe this perhaps clearer way of seeing things. Knowing that two opposites can be true at the same time, knowing that the value is within us, not, not without us, not externally, all of these things. That’s also for me personally, not saying that I, I, I didn’t go through those negative times, not saying I didn’t go through those moments of where my positive framework of it was, was not, was, was not there. I had been very negative for a long time.

Cesar Cardona [00:15:20]:
I had thought the world was out to get me. Even if my words were more optimistic. I just shifted and saw this way and said, wait, hang on here. What is something that I can do? What is something that I can do because I know I’m in control of these things. And then how do I little by little release the deep grasping of expectation that I have on other people in other scenarios Because I can’t account for that. I can’t be held responsible for those things. And the circumstances of why somebody is or isn’t to me is not something that I could ever fathom. Think about how many times you’ve heard someone say about another person, oh, this person did A because they are B.

Cesar Cardona [00:16:10]:
Right, right. Oh well, they cut me off because they’re jerks or they didn’t answer my call because they’re selfish. Whatever, whatever is right. The moment that same person has to tell you about why they chose to do something, they’re going to give you all the scenarios and the situations and the circumstances why they make that choice. And that is the more clearer picture because they experienced all the Circumstances. Right, Right. So let’s make sure we give those same circumstances to the other people as well. And that’s how I got to this point of saying, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Cesar Cardona [00:16:45]:
I am. I’m doing something a little. I’m misstepping right here. Right. I am giving all myself the grace for reasons why something doesn’t work and then pointing it out to everyone else. But that’s not it. Let me turn over and make a little more accountability for myself.

Tim Newman [00:16:59]:
Yeah, yeah. And we’ll get into accountability a little bit, a little bit later, because I. I do think accountability or. Or personal accountability is something that we.

Cesar Cardona [00:17:10]:
We.

Tim Newman [00:17:12]:
We need to do a better job of. But I. I want to talk about some more positive things first. You know, you. You’re. Your public speaking journey is relatively new.

Cesar Cardona [00:17:23]:
Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:17:24]:
How did, how did this happen for you? Because again, it’s. Your story is fascinating to me because it doesn’t generally happen that way. It doesn’t. I mean, I’ll let you tell the story because I, you know, it’s your story, but I. It’s fascinating. I. I love it because it. It’s.

Tim Newman [00:17:46]:
It, number one. It’s real. It. It’s. It’s. And it’s transformational because it can happen. When I say it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t. Doesn’t mean I can’t, because it does.

Tim Newman [00:17:57]:
It happens to you, and I know it’s happened to others. You know, you.

Cesar Cardona [00:18:00]:
You’ve.

Tim Newman [00:18:02]:
You just. You just find something that. That kind of goes off and says, wow, this is it. This is. This is it. This is what I’ve been looking for.

Cesar Cardona [00:18:11]:
Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you’re so on point with that point without. With that observation. There’s still. To this moment, like, at. Can you believe this? You know, I saw an old friend that I hadn’t seen in a little while yesterday. We went to lunch, and he’s like, how are you? And I said, okay, this is what’s going on? And I just ran down all these stories.

Cesar Cardona [00:18:32]:
And he’s looking at me like, what? And I go, I don’t know.

Tim Newman [00:18:34]:
I don’t know.

Cesar Cardona [00:18:35]:
And technically, I do know. I spent the time I focused and so on. I followed my bliss. I followed the thing to Corinthians of Campbell, follow your bliss. I followed the thing that activated me, that vitalized me, that made me feel more alive than ever, and I followed that consistently. And then, of course, with the vigilance and the patience and the endurance, things show up. And again, here’s that and word instead of but and these doors just start opening up where they used to just be walls. I’m like, what is going on? Right.

Cesar Cardona [00:19:11]:
So to answer your question, I had no thought about being a public speaker. It was not in my thoughts. It wasn’t in my realm. I didn’t even. It never occurred to me to be a public speaker, not one time. And I’ll double down on that and say that two Buddhist temples that I had been a part of some years ago, they both had asked me, would you like to talk for one of the services? I said, sure. I put something together and talked about it and I know, never thought about it again. That’s how much I didn’t think about it.

Cesar Cardona [00:19:43]:
I literally did it. I was standing on a whale, being upset because I couldn’t find any minnows, you know, like, like, like, come on, you know. So anyway, I really want to set that tone for that because I’ve quoted Joseph Campbell before, earlier, what, 10, 10 seconds ago. I love Joseph Campbell, if any, if you listening here, don’t know who that is, I highly recommend checking him out. Checking him out directly. Don’t necessarily look at what people talk about him because they’ve concised it down to one thing, which is beautiful. It’s a beautiful thing. But there’s so much more that he talks about and he’s renowned and amazing in so many ways, but there’s just so much more is the point I’m making.

Cesar Cardona [00:20:25]:
So I love his teaching, I love how he goes about life. He talks about the common thread that connects all of us, from stories to mythology to religion, to social tales, to modern day, to movies to film, to our real personal day to day life. There’s a common narrative that happens for all of us, right? And he broke that down into what it means symbolically. So anyway, I find at some point that in where I live in Los Angeles, there is a Joseph Campbell roundtable and it’s comprised of people who are fans of his. He died in 1987. There they get together and there’s a speaker for the event. I was invited to go to this event and the speaker was someone who knew Joseph Campbell for two decades. He passed away in 1987.

Cesar Cardona [00:21:13]:
So I, I wasn’t even born yet. But this woman knew him for two decades and she was now a storyteller and she taught in colleges on mixing movies with myth and, and so on. Her name is Rebecca Armstrong. She’s a wonderful, brilliant woman. Because when I was sitting there listening to her talk, I am enamored with what she was saying, I’m like. Like I said, I’m like, this woman is wonderful and brilliant. She finishes her talk. I’m just there as a participant.

Cesar Cardona [00:21:43]:
There’s like 40 or 50 of us. She starts speaking. She says, anybody have any questions? And one woman stands up, and this woman stands up and says a couple of compliments. And then another gentleman raises his hand, and he stands up and asks a question. They kind of go back and forth a little bit. And then I raise my hand and I point out some of the things that she said that stood out to me that I have been using in my life. Primarily. She was talking about a thread that’s used in a lot of culture stories.

Cesar Cardona [00:22:17]:
And I know that in. In. In. In mythology, the thread in Greek mythology is known as a clue, C L E W. And it’s used in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur and so on and so forth. I broke down the metaphor for what it meant to me and then told her that I started my music group called Caesar. And the clue, C L E W. Because the thread is the symbol that connects us with the rest of the world.

Cesar Cardona [00:22:42]:
The labyrinth in the movie, the dungeon, the cave, the underwater. Whatever it is you see in films is symbolic for you going in your own mind and fighting your own monsters. And the thread connects you back out to the world. And we do that now because we have things like communication, the Internet, a thread. Right. Or the. The search of string theory and physics. We do these all day.

Cesar Cardona [00:23:05]:
So I called my band Caesar and the clue. And then she goes, stop right there. And then she turns to everyone and says, did you see what he did? He took the story, found the metaphor, understood the symbol, applied it to his life, and then applied it to the bigger, the larger life, every of everybody included, and then honored it. She said, that is genius. You, sir, are a genius. Now, I don’t necessarily agree with that phrasing, but everyone turns to look at me and I’m sweating bullets now because I didn’t have a desire to want.

Tim Newman [00:23:37]:
I’m here to. I didn’t want to be a genius. Yeah, come on.

Cesar Cardona [00:23:40]:
To this day, I’m still like, I don’t know about all that stuff, but listen, I’m just here, you know? So then she says. She says that. And then she looks over to me and says, you should be standing here speaking. And then she turns to the woman who hosts the event and points to me and says, there is your next speaker. And I am flabbergasted because, again, not what I Came there for the end of the talk comes. I go walk up to her and I say to her, thank you for saying all that. I’m super nervous about that. But she said, if you want to speak here, I can set you up.

Cesar Cardona [00:24:21]:
I said, I would love that, but I don’t know anything about that. I’m just here. She said, take my phone number. I’ll mentor you. She lives near Chicago, and she said, I’ll mentor you. So from there, she started mentoring me and being a public speaker. All of this, by the way, is just over a year ago. It’s.

Cesar Cardona [00:24:43]:
It’s nuts. It’s nuts. It’s absolutely nuts, dude. So to. To condense this story a little quicker. Living in Los Angeles, it’s very competitive, and it’s easy for somebody to want to hire a public speaker who has experience rather than some guy with curly hair who has no experience in. In. In public speaking.

Cesar Cardona [00:25:02]:
So what I did was I went and I rented a space, I invited 30 of my friends, and I built a talk on a topic that I want to talk about. My girlfriend, who used to be a film director, she set up two cameras for me, and they. They were iPhone cameras. So there wasn’t like, you know, fancy cameras shot those. We recorded it. I chopped those videos up and then started shopping them out to places and said, I recently gave a talk here. I’d love to give a talk to you the same manner. That was June of 2024.

Cesar Cardona [00:25:37]:
Maybe I shouldn’t date the episode here, but that was in. I’ve already said it. And by that September, I got my first paying gig. It has been less than that. A year’s time, and I’ve had 15 paying gigs. 15. I am baffled by it, and I’m the one experiencing it. I’m the one putting it out there and doing the effort.

Cesar Cardona [00:26:03]:
And still I’m like, what. What is going on? And my goodness. But ultimately, to wrap this up, I’m ever grateful for it, and I’m ever humbled for it, and my job is to not get stuck into the congratulatory, See it. See it as a sign of what you’re doing is correct, and then get back to focusing on the road. Right?

Tim Newman [00:26:22]:
Well, I think what you’re doing is phenomenal. I love the story. I love, you know, within that story, there’s so much that can be unpacked, right? There’s. So. There’s so much that other people can learn from. Okay? Now, I mean, we. Let’s. Let’s take away your upbringing.

Tim Newman [00:26:40]:
Let’s Just focus on going to that conference.

Cesar Cardona [00:26:43]:
Right?

Tim Newman [00:26:43]:
You went, you went to that conference to, and I’m just, I’m putting words in your mouth here. You went in that conversation to hear the speaker maybe, maybe to learn something, maybe interact with, with those people that, that were there. But you, you learned before you, before you even got there, you had, you had a, A, an interest in that topic. You had an interest in him and, and his, and his work and his, his thinking, his movies, all those types of things. And so things don’t just happen like that. So you don’t, you’re not just going to walk into a conference and expect that to happen. Right? I mean, and then you took what was said, you listened.

Cesar Cardona [00:27:30]:
You.

Tim Newman [00:27:35]:
You put everything together and then shared that. You had to have, you had to have some gumption to stand up and, and share where most people today aren’t going to do that. Even in that group of people that were there, how many other people stood up?

Cesar Cardona [00:27:53]:
True, true. Very true. Apparently speaking publicly is like the top three scariest things.

Tim Newman [00:28:01]:
And even you said, I mean, you were sweating bloats, you were nervous, but you took that step. Remember when we talked about, as we started this, you’re either moving forward or you’re moving backwards. You have to find ways to, to do the things that, that are, that are holding us back. So as throughout the past year, have you, do you still get nervous? Did you figure out why you were so nervous? I mean, this is, this is what is really fascinating to me because you, my very first time, okay. And this is what I do now.

Cesar Cardona [00:28:39]:
I threw up. Whoa. Whoa.

Tim Newman [00:28:42]:
Yeah. And I still get nervous. I mean, I gave a keynote. I don’t even, I mean, we talked about this before. Recently I gave a regular presentation and a keynote in the same day. Still nervous, but still did it. But the first time I ever stood up in front of people, I threw up.

Cesar Cardona [00:29:01]:
Yep. I get nervous every time. Every time I expect the nerves, I anticipate the nerves. I, I, and, and I don’t care to not have nerves. The nerves let me know that I’m alive, that I’m paying attention, that I’m focused. It lets me know that I care. If I didn’t have the nerves, then I would be lying to myself about something. And I, the goal is to transcend it, work with it, not trying to get rid of it.

Cesar Cardona [00:29:36]:
I’ve learned over time, I learned a couple things. One, there is this. How do I, I’m trying to make sure I bring this, make this really concise. There’s A study that shows that. And I’m really breaking. I’m really making this study really concise that if you are able to name the fear you’re seeing or experiencing, like, like name it, then it makes it from your amygdala, which is very. Fear, worry, based on your prefrontal cortex, the front of your thoughts, which is very editing, very editing, very conscious. People have shown in their brains their stress levels.

Cesar Cardona [00:30:09]:
If they. If they witness or experience fear without naming it, their stress levels go higher. The moment they think to themselves, oh, fear, it becomes a little calmer to them because you’re recognizing it. You’re putting a shape around it. Right. I remember that study, and one day I was sitting in. It was almost my turn to go up to speak, and I felt nervous. And I went.

Cesar Cardona [00:30:31]:
I thought to myself, oh, nervous. That’s nervous. I’m nervous. Okay. And it doesn’t make it go away, but it does put a shape around it. You know, it put. It puts a sheet around that ghost, you know, and you can kind of get its form a little bit. And it helped me really transcend it more and more because I.

Cesar Cardona [00:30:51]:
I realized that if I name it, then it becomes a part of the tools. It becomes a part of. It becomes another arrow in my quiver. So I get nervous every single time. And I say to myself, oh, there it is. There’s nervous. Got it. There’s nervous.

Tim Newman [00:31:07]:
That’s all. I got it. Now we can move forward.

Cesar Cardona [00:31:09]:
Now I can. Yeah. And again, I really want to specify. The goal is not to get rid of nerves. It’s not to get rid of nerves. It heightens you. It keeps your awareness a little up. Your skin is a little heightened of what’s going on.

Cesar Cardona [00:31:21]:
You’re a little more poised, but you got to recognize it and then amalgamate it and use it.

Tim Newman [00:31:27]:
Yeah, I tend to agree with you there. You know, the whole idea for. For me is. Is because I care, because I want. I want to. I want to do well. I want. I want to be able to convey the message.

Tim Newman [00:31:40]:
I want. I want my audience to be able to hear the. Hear the messaging and, and get something out of the message, whatever it is that I’m talking about. And, And I think it’s like anything else. I come from the sport industry, and even if you talk to the elite athletes, they get nervous when they go out and play. And if they get nervous and can still perform at that high level, I think, again, go back to both. Things can be right. If they can do it and still perform at a High level.

Tim Newman [00:32:19]:
It’s okay for me to do it, to have it.

Cesar Cardona [00:32:23]:
Absolutely.

Tim Newman [00:32:23]:
And still go out and perform.

Cesar Cardona [00:32:25]:
Absolutely. Those people, those people, those high working athletes, the high tier athletes, they have over you, over me, over anybody listening at this moment right now, they have more time. They’ve had more time and potential experience and potential access to assistance to getting those things. Those are all three things that you could eventually get without question. What’s more is that they’re specified in that one thing they do really well. And everybody has at least one thing they do really well. Right. So knowing that they get nervous lets you know you are in accord with the way it’s supposed to be.

Cesar Cardona [00:33:12]:
Your job is to be your version of that top athlete. If it’s being the top mathematician, if it’s being the top janitor, if it’s being the top car salesman, whatever it is, be kind and true with it and don’t stop. As long as you’re kind and true, you’ll recognize that you can become the best version of yourself. But you got to make sure that nervousness is always there with you and see it and put your hands around it.

Tim Newman [00:33:42]:
It’s, it’s so, so important and lean into your, to lean into who you are being. Just, just embrace it and, and, and go with it. Let’s talk a little bit about storytelling in, of public speaking or even just regular communication. Because I, I think that I, I’m going to use airframes, quote storytelling now, because I think that, I think it’s a buzzword, but it’s something that we’ve, we as humans have done our entire.

Cesar Cardona [00:34:18]:
Life, since the beginning of our ability to communicate with each other. Before we even had words, we painted on caves.

Tim Newman [00:34:23]:
Yes. And now it’s, it’s, it’s become a way for us to talk about how we talk or talk about how we communicate. And that’s fine. I don’t, I don’t have any problem with that. But sometimes we think or it’s presented as we have to have some, some grand triumphant story.

Cesar Cardona [00:34:43]:
I love that, I love that you’re saying that.

Tim Newman [00:34:44]:
Yep. And it doesn’t have to be. It’s, I mean, just tell your story. I mean, you know what? I went to the store yesterday, got a flat tire, had to change a flat tire. Some guys stopped to help me. He picked up some lug nuts for me and I really appreciate it. We’re gonna go play golf next week. You know what I mean? That’s a story.

Tim Newman [00:35:04]:
I mean, it’s, you know, that’s really all it is.

Cesar Cardona [00:35:08]:
Yeah. Let’s not forget that stories can just be open ended. They can end and make the person wonder. You can just be asking a question with a story. Right? I mean there’s so like, what is that story of the, the, the monk with the, the monk in the boat is one I tell a lot when I do talks about anger. This monk goes into a boat to meditate. This Buddhist monk goes into a lake, sits in the boat, in the boat, goes to meditate. Someone, he closes his eyes.

Cesar Cardona [00:35:35]:
Someone bumps into the boat. He’s a little rocked. He opens his, he keeps his eyes closed, but he takes a breath and he resets and goes back to meditating. And then they bump into his boat again. He’s a little agitated this time, but he resets, keeps his eyes closed, meditates. And then they bump into his boat a third time. This time he’s annoyed, so he opens his eyes. He turns around to go yell at the person bumping into him and he realizes the boat is empty.

Cesar Cardona [00:36:00]:
The wake of the lake had been pushing the boat against his. So the question is, in this story, whose anger was that? I’m not giving any answer there. The, the response person. You know, you can leave these stories wide open. And stories are, stories are a gathering of words and words are the candlelight to the cave of our minds. If you put those words together right, it won’t be a candlelight anymore, it’ll be a blazing fire. And if you can condense that well enough, then it’ll be electricity and that will light your way consistently. One of the best things I’ve learned in my life was the fact that storytelling can get us across more, more than any data, any science, any facts you can bring, you can appeal and, and you can appeal to somebody and affect them and activate them way more with stories than you will data.

Cesar Cardona [00:36:56]:
Data is amazing, but stories will get the job done.

Tim Newman [00:37:00]:
Yeah, it’s, it’s, it’s the ultimate connector. It’s, it’s the ultimate, you know, relationship builder. It’s the, it’s what, it’s what binds us together. I mean, again, going back to some of the things we’ve already talked about, you know, and with where we are from. Let’s just take AI for example. I mean, everything is AI today, right? But I don’t care what business or industry you’re in, it’s all going to come back to personal interaction, personal relationships, 100%.

Cesar Cardona [00:37:30]:
I have a certification in AI and using AI. I got one a couple weeks ago. And you find out pretty quickly. That it’s our job to have the information. You can put it in through there. See AI as a thought partner, and you got to make the choice when it comes back out.

Tim Newman [00:37:44]:
Yeah, yeah. So, I mean, take. Take the time to. To develop personal relationships. Take the time to. To make connections. You know, I. I go back to.

Tim Newman [00:37:59]:
Let’s go back. Go back to when you went to the conference. I. I think that one thing that people also need to understand is the power of questions, you know, in communication. You know, I think questions is something that, that helps deepen conversations. It helps deepen connection. It helps deepen relationships.

Cesar Cardona [00:38:23]:
Yeah. And this is. Asking questions is tied into something you also said earlier, which is a really good point. The listening. Yes, the listening is super important. I am a speaker, public speaker. My job is literally to talk. And I find that very often the more I listen, the more effective I can be.

Cesar Cardona [00:38:43]:
I gave a talk about a month or so ago, and it was one of the best ones. I felt that I did. And the audience was amazing, and it was a lot of people, and at least a lot for me. And this gentleman, this gentleman walked up to me afterwards, after all the people left. He said, could I talk to you for a little bit? I said, yeah, sure, of course I want to. He said, I want to talk to you about Buddhism. We sit into one of the conference rooms, just he and I. He closed the door and we start talking about Buddhism.

Cesar Cardona [00:39:12]:
And at some point, he just wouldn’t stop going. He was talking and talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. And I realized, want to get a point in here, what he’s saying. And then at some point, I realized, no, he just needs to get it out right? And he would go and go, and he tied all of these concepts into his personal life. And then in the end, he looked at me and says, I want to hug you, but I don’t know you enough. And I looked at him, I said, you can hug me. You’re what? It’s available to you. I stand up, he stands up, we.

Cesar Cardona [00:39:47]:
We hug. And then he cries in my shoulder.

Tim Newman [00:39:51]:
Wow.

Cesar Cardona [00:39:53]:
I didn’t say anything. I listened. I listened. I gave my ears rather than my mouth. I listened to what he had to say. And then to lead it back to what you’re saying here about questions, the more you listen actively, realistically, not waiting to just have your turn to say something more, you listen, the more that you’ll be able to ask the better question to make a better connection, and the byproduct of it is you will actually have better things to say anyway if you take your focus away from what I should say and just listen and ask the questions. Now.

Tim Newman [00:40:36]:
That’S a powerful point. I mean, that’s spot on and powerful. And Caesar, thank you so much. Where can people you know find you to work with you, hire you to. To come and speak?

Cesar Cardona [00:40:52]:
Yeah, so I. I speak in person, of course. I speak online as well. I give talks on growth, mindfulness. I speak on and teach meditation with this new certification now, I also speak and help people with learning how to use AI for their benefit instead of being scared of it. AI is not my opponent. AI is my assistant. And you can find all that stuff at my website, Caesar Cardona.com.

Cesar Cardona [00:41:25]:
i’m sure you’ll put that in the show notes. Go there. You’ll see. You can sign up to the newsletter and there’s a contact page. Every single individual who reach out to reaches out to me. I respond to personally. I talk to them. I want to listen to them.

Cesar Cardona [00:41:39]:
I want to know where you are. I want to help you find the best version of yourself because there’s nothing I’m giving you. I’m just helping you find you.

Tim Newman [00:41:47]:
That’s awesome. I’m going to ask you to do one other thing for me. How about your band? Got to get your music out there, too.

Cesar Cardona [00:41:54]:
Yeah. So it’s been a little while since I’ve written some music there, but this music is Caesar and the clue. Caesar is C E S A R and the word clue is C L E W Cesar and the Clue.

Tim Newman [00:42:07]:
Dude, that’s awesome. I’m so glad we had a chance to catch up and glad you’re able to share with our audience here. I’m blown away and so proud of what you’re doing and what you’ve accomplished in such a short period of time. And I wish you all the best.

Cesar Cardona [00:42:22]:
Thank you. Tim. You are a beautiful man and I admire you so much. Thank you.

Tim Newman [00:42:27]:
Thanks, buddy. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to overcome them. You can also register for the Formula for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time.

Cesar Cardona [00:42:44]:
Take care.