From TEDx to Everyday Wins: Confidence, Grit, and Communication Mastery with Dr. Christiane Schroeter

Tim Newman [00:00:01]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results— communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on your journey to become a powerful communicator. Today's guest is Christiane Schroeter. Christiane is a TEDx speaker, and you got to watch, watch her TEDx because it's really good. It's probably one of the best I've seen. She's a business and wellness coach, a professor, and the creator of Petite Practice, a framework for achieving lasting success through small intentional steps. She hosts the top 1% globally ranked podcast, Happy Healthy Hustle, where she shares evidence-based tools for clarity, mindset, and sustainable growth. With a PhD in health economics and over 15 years of experience in marketing and innovation, Christiane supports professionals in aligning their goals with their values to create results that last and businesses that feel deeply congruent.

Tim Newman [00:01:12]:
Christiane, welcome to the show. I'm really excited to, to talk to you today.

Christiane Schroeter [00:01:18]:
I'm really thrilled to be here. Audience, this is going to be a good one for everybody that's here for the first time or a regular. I'm going to share some really cool insight with you.

Tim Newman [00:01:28]:
And I really do appreciate that. And let me bring up your TED Talk before we go any further, because I've watched it 5 or 6 times and I pick up little nuggets each time, whether it's the message, whether it's the delivery, whether it's your mannerisms. And it's probably one of the best that I've seen in terms of the message that somebody can go and do something today like right after that talk, put it into action and see some real results. And that's what, that's what I truly love. And, you know, we both come from academia. And for me, sometimes I think some of the presentations, it's research for research's sake, and it's, it's nothingness. But that presentation for me is why it makes it so good.

Christiane Schroeter [00:02:15]:
I really appreciate that. And I think that's the gist of a TEDx talk. You have to think, what's the message I want to share? What do I want people to feel when they listen to my talk? And what do they want to do when they walk away from it? So it's like the before, the during, and the after. And that's also, of course, the structure of a really good talk, right? So if you— right, you set up a really good talk, it's like make a structure ahead of time. What do you want to feel people while you give the talk? And what do you want people to do after you delivered your talk? And we're going to talk a lot more about this today. But that was really my intention when I set up my TEDx talk.

Tim Newman [00:02:54]:
Yeah. And, and again, the way the deliberateness of it was what stuck with me. And, and again, we're going to talk about, talk about it. We're going to talk about petite practice, because I do want you to get into some depth with that. But before we really get into that, you're originally from Germany. And you teach entrepreneurship at Cal Poly and you run a confidence coaching business. How did all of that collide into the work that you're doing today with your coaching business? Because it's, it's all very, very congruent. And a lot of times you don't really see that.

Christiane Schroeter [00:03:28]:
Oh, I actually think that deep down, what I experienced, my journey is very similar to what many entrepreneurs really have. Of course, I'm speaking a second language, right? But sometimes you are working in a field where you're kind of always feeling a little bit like, I need to become more aligned with what they do. I need to become more familiar with the jargon that they use. And that's in essence really what happened to me when I learned a different language, a different culture, that I just exposed myself to it and it became so familiar that eventually you start dreaming in that. Second language and you just pick up on it. That's really what happens in communication.

Tim Newman [00:04:14]:
It is. And, but I love that, you know, you bring, you talk about it from the whole premise of the idea of having to learn that second language to, to be able to do it. And like you said, dreaming in that second language and living that. I think one of the things that we're us as, you know, Native Americans, we're English and we don't really— yeah, there's some people that speak 2, 3 languages, but, you know, if you look at people in Europe, most of them are speaking at least 2 languages because they travel. You know, the borders are so easy to— you can go from one country to another and those types of things, and you're so much more open to learning a second language than we are here in the United States.

Christiane Schroeter [00:05:03]:
Yeah, it's actually, my husband always makes fun about it because I raised my daughters bilingual. So I spoke German to them and my husband English. And then they also went to a Spanish speaking, so an immersion school where they only spoke Spanish really until they were maybe 8 or 10 years old. They didn't even know that teachers could actually speak English. So they learned that Spanish at school, the German at home, and then they spoke the English with my husband. So my husband always says that we're speaking all the languages and he can barely speak English.

Tim Newman [00:05:43]:
That's me, that's me. But, but, but, you know, your daughters are going to be so much better off and so, so much further ahead. And what, what that does to, to the brain, especially the young brain, and and how intellectually more advanced they're going to be. And there's all kinds of research out there about learning a second language when you're young, how much easier it is and what they can do as opposed to learning it in your 20s or 30s or even 40s. By the time you get to your 40s, it's almost impossible to really truly learn and immerse yourself and be able to immerse yourself in that language.

Christiane Schroeter [00:06:20]:
Oh, I love that you bring this up actually, because I also think that as a good communicator, the number one tool is listening first, then speaking. So if you speak multiple languages, you just become much more attuned and empathetic with what people are saying, just because you are so like, your brain is a little bit like a jukebox. And you switch out the words depending on the language that you hear and you switch the words like the songs in a jukebox. And that's, I think, what makes a really good communicator, that they are able to language switch. And also they pick up on nuances in the words, in the voice, in the body language, just because they have all this jukebox living in their brain, right?

Tim Newman [00:07:14]:
Yeah. And as you're saying that, I'm thinking normal conversations are— someone who speaks multiple languages are great, but let's just say they're getting into an argument with their significant other and all of a sudden, one minute you're arguing in German, next minute you start arguing in Spanish and they have no idea what you're talking about and you're making all your points and they're going, yeah, yeah, but you don't really know. I'm making all my points and you're wrong. And then you move on from that. So it's kind of a of a fun thought as well, that, you know, you can, you can have thoughts and you can express them in, in multiple different ways and get them across. And that's, and again, that's, that's really kind of what it comes down to.

Christiane Schroeter [00:07:54]:
So, correct. And, and if a listener, if you are here and you're maybe always curious about learning a different language, just start doing something, to be honest with you. You might not become fluent and that might not be the goal. It's actually just kind of like the origin of words is super fascinating to me. Like for instance, the word competition in business, it sounds so negative and so cold and hard, but when you look at the Latin origin of it, it actually means thriving together. So it has a very positive meaning. And frequently in communication, we don't know where words come from, what languages started these words, the origin of it. And I would encourage your listeners to become a confident speaker, exploring the origin of words, really fine-tuning the nuances that different words add to a conversation, really uplevels your speaking style tremendously.

Tim Newman [00:08:59]:
You're absolutely correct there. And you and I work with the same populations, the Gen Z, the younger population. You probably were teaching with millennials and that sort of thing too. And one of the things that for me is interesting and fascinating, the idea that when, at least for me, when I was growing up, the idea of language and knowing terms and definitions, how important that was for me. And seeing as I've gotten older, the younger generations don't necessarily think about how important definitions are and how that really does kind of skew communication and skew understanding so much. Again, I take it back on our generation that, okay, we've allowed that to happen, so we've got to help them self-correct and get them to understand that, you know, if you're talking about something and we don't understand it, it's not that we don't— we're not listening to you. It's that, you know, maybe there's that communication— we're using a different definition of a word. And so we have to come together to understand what that definition is going to mean in our individual conversations as well.

Christiane Schroeter [00:10:17]:
Exactly. It's nearly like you're a gardener and you're trying to plant trees or flowers, right? You don't just randomly put things out there. You look a little bit at the composition of the soil. Where's the sunlight going to hit? What is the weather pattern going to be? And that's how you put your trees and your flowers and your plants. It's the same thing with choosing words wisely. You don't just start blabbering around. You think a little bit of like, all right, what's the structure of this conversation going to be? Who is the audience? Are they actually going to understand what I'm going to talk about? Because you can't just give the same talk like a jukebox where you're pushing a button, right? You actually have to fine-tune the style of your communication, the way that you deliver it, depending on who is going to be there. And that is really what makes a great communicator.

Tim Newman [00:11:11]:
Exactly, exactly. But what's something about your journey into confidence coaching that people think they understand, but they get totally wrong?

Christiane Schroeter [00:11:21]:
I think people understand that when they give a talk, that they have to stand in front of an audience and start delivering it. And they practice that. What they totally get wrong is that in the moment and standing on the stage, it is actually a very different experience than just standing at home and looking at the mirror. So I cannot emphasize enough how important that is to actually practice your talk in front of an audience that you don't know, that you don't know. That is so important because seeing it for the first time, like the reaction of people, the way that maybe, you know, their bodies shift because they start to get impatient and you're like, oh gosh, maybe this is like boring. You start second-guessing yourself and your voice will reflect that. And at the same time, it could be that they love your talk, but their body language really doesn't reflect that, right? So you need to be ready to present in front of an audience if you want to stay on the stage. You can't just like constantly talk to a mirror or like memorize it to, um, you know, your laptop or to your husband or your dog or whatever.

Christiane Schroeter [00:12:32]:
It needs to be somebody that's going to be critical, that's going to be new, and ideally that needs to be actually a group of people. And then you're really getting stage ready. That's the most misunderstood thing, most misunderstood thing. It's a completely different ballgame.

Tim Newman [00:12:49]:
And number one, that's not an easy thing to do. I mean, because it's right with technology, it's very easy for us now to practice, not that people are doing it, but it's easy to practice. We can set up a camera, we can set up a tripod, we can hold a selfie, and we can talk, we can talk to a mirror, We could hit record. We could do those things. But like you said, actually doing it in front of people where you have to see their body language, see their facial expressions, see if they're digging in their phones, all of these things. Are they laughing when you want them to laugh? Are they going on that emotional roller coaster that you think that they should be based on what you put together? And being able to adjust to that in real time so that when it's time to go out and do it for real, you know how to do that. That's a very difficult thing to do.

Christiane Schroeter [00:13:34]:
Completely. Yeah. So I have actually, audience, I have an amazing tip for you that I used myself to prepare for my TEDx talk. And I called it TEDx caroling. Caroling, like caroling Christmas songs, right? So I basically went around in the neighborhood, met with friends. People that I didn't even know, acquaintances, neighbors, people at doctor's offices that were in the waiting room. And I presented my TEDx talk to them, just like people on the holiday season go around and they curate their Christmas songs, ring on doorbells. And that is really why I was so confident, because I did it so many times in front of so many audiences.

Christiane Schroeter [00:14:18]:
And there were many moments when the talk didn't go great. But on that stage, I basically felt like I've done this. I got this.

Tim Newman [00:14:29]:
That's a really great idea. That's a phenomenal idea. Something I never thought about. You know, I talked to somebody, you know, a couple months ago, and what they did is they set up a kind of like a theater-type thing in their house and they invited their friends over and said, and then they filmed it and said, okay, this is how we're going to do it. We're going to, we're going to do this once a week for, for 2 months. And that's what they did. They invited people over the house and did it. So there's a number of ways to do it.

Tim Newman [00:15:02]:
It's, it's still not easy and you still have to, to really be able to put yourself out there. And, and this really kind of goes into the next piece that I really want to talk to you about is the idea that it's okay to fail, to normalize that. And grit, the whole idea of grit and developing grit in today's young people, they don't have it. And I think it's up to us as the older generation, getting them ready to lead, to learn how to develop grit and to get that back. But you talk a lot about normalizing failure. In the classroom? And what does that actually look like in real life? And why does it matter?

Christiane Schroeter [00:15:45]:
Beautiful. I always tell my students, FAIL, as in an acronym, stands for First Attempt in Learning. So it's your first time you're trying something. So don't be hard on yourself. Failure is great because it means you actually went. And did it for the first time. And after you failed, you sail because then it's your second attempt in learning and you're taking off because you already did something and maybe it didn't go as planned, but your second time is going to be much better. So when I see in the classroom or in my coaching or just working one-on-one with clients that they feel the very first time they give an elevator pitch, that they are going to stay on that stage and they're going to be doing amazing.

Christiane Schroeter [00:16:35]:
And then they walk off. They're like, oh, I wish I would have done this or that or that. If I could go back, it's like, you can go back. You're just going to give another elevator pitch, not this one right now, because this one is done and you did the very best you could. But in your next elevator pitch, write down these things. You're going to change some things. And that's amazing. You don't want to do the same things again that you feel you could have improved upon.

Tim Newman [00:17:02]:
Exactly.

Christiane Schroeter [00:17:03]:
That's what I see, that people are just like, oh, and I forgot this one line. It's like, that's great. It's awesome that you, that you realize this. Write this down, right? What would have made this even more polished? Write this down. This is good.

Tim Newman [00:17:18]:
You know, it's, it's almost like, you know, you talk about fail, and when I look at fail, I mean, like, Failing, like, it's, oh man, it's— you failed. I mean, it's, it's a— it's bad, right? It's, oh my gosh, you failed. But I would much rather my students fail in my classroom than fail out in the real world, fail out in the job, right? Because the reality is the consequences or the results of, of failing— I'm using air fingers, quotes— in the classroom What's the— I mean, there really isn't any consequence. There's really only upside, right? There's, there's only upside that I see. And you should, you really should embrace that as opposed to, you know, oh my gosh, it's, it's, it's actually a good, it's actually a good thing. And trying to get them to understand that and to grow from that. You know, you see, at least I would see it from freshman to senior year. And then as they go on and they come back and they, and they account some things, you know, looking back on the things I was worried about failing in school, you know, I'm glad I did it that way because how much better I am now.

Tim Newman [00:18:30]:
And looking at my peers, where, where I'm at with them. So it's, it's so important to understand that it's, it's, it's not really failing. It's, it's, it's growing, like you say.

Christiane Schroeter [00:18:40]:
Well, and think about it a little bit in the sense of where you are in that point in time. So you're in the classroom and all these people around you, your peers, they're going to be your future colleagues working for other companies or pursuing advanced degrees or raising families. Who knows what they're going to do? So think a little bit of all these peers being there and you have the luxury in getting all of their amazing feedback. That's what I always say. Don't be just worried about me. Also think all these wonderful people in the classroom that in the future are just going to be your little pictures on LinkedIn. And right now you're going to see them here live. So take advantage of that.

Christiane Schroeter [00:19:29]:
That if they tell you something critical, that's constructive. In the future, it's going to sound very different because you're going to see it as a post on LinkedIn or a comment on your Instagram post. And you're like, oh, what does that mean? But right now you can actually ask a follow-up question in real life. It's kind of cool, isn't it? How, how this works minus technology. It's now it's free. And so I always tell them when they pitch, I never give my, my, my comments first or hardly ever say that word. Hardly ever. I said, all right, so guys, what do you think? What do you think? And then you have to actually wait.

Christiane Schroeter [00:20:03]:
You can't just say, oh, nobody has an idea. You stepped. Wait a little bit. And then they raise their hand and say, I don't know exactly what your product is. And I'm like, okay, maybe clarity could be improved upon, right? It sounds like you don't exactly understand what this is. So like, in general, let the students do the criticizing. And also let the students be a little bit more of a sounding board of what could happen instead of always feeling you as the teacher has to know it all. You have to have all the answers to everything.

Christiane Schroeter [00:20:46]:
Because in reality, if, if they are confused, I don't even know when to say how I feel about this. Right?

Tim Newman [00:20:56]:
Right. Exactly. But especially with Gen Z right now, they crave that. They crave to be able to give input. They want to feel involved. They want to feel a part of the process as opposed to being told everything. One way that we need to build trust and build authority with Gen Z population is to give them that opportunity to have ownership. You know, give them that, that idea to, to be able to have input into, into things.

Tim Newman [00:21:34]:
And like you just said, in, in a classroom, have them go back and forth first. Because most, and again, most of the time, like you said, they're going to say the things that you're going to say anyway. And it, and it just hits different coming from You know, your friend, your peer, as opposed to coming from you, the professor. Oh, she just doesn't like me. She just doesn't understand. When it just hits differently when it's your peer.

Christiane Schroeter [00:22:01]:
Yeah. Let me actually give you an example of my TEDx talk. So I was teaching an intensive workshop on innovation entrepreneurship and I practiced my first TEDx talk and I thought it was really good. And after I delivered it, there were a lot of different stories in that talk about coaches, about clients I work with, about students. One of the students in the classroom that listened to this basically raised their hand and said, I want a little bit more of like a takeaway message because while I understand these stories, etc., and I saw myself in the stories, I would like to know how these people got out of that. And I was like, oops, well, I guess I should probably think about that. So I completely revamped the talk. I sat down and I was like, well, well, well, so they understand that I've taught 10,000 students in my life.

Christiane Schroeter [00:22:56]:
I don't need to make this clear with stories. They get it.

Tim Newman [00:22:59]:
Right.

Christiane Schroeter [00:23:00]:
So pull back on the story, push the gas pedal on the takeaway. And I think that as a good communicator, you have to adjust and you have to think that every time you pivot is actually going to make you stronger. Because it's, it's just a redirection. It's not a misdirection. It's just a redirection of the course where you want to go. And that's really what happened. I just pivoted my talk. And then it became much stronger.

Christiane Schroeter [00:23:30]:
And I felt more confident about it. But I wasn't like, well, they really have no clue what this is all about. Because at the end of the day, that's not what a TED Talk talk is. It's not like you and all about you. It's not at all about that. It's the message and how it resonates and what people feel and experience and take away from it.

Tim Newman [00:23:51]:
Absolutely. And again, that, that to me is something that I think the younger generation doesn't quite understand. That it's not about you. It's, it's about the message. It's about the audience. It's about all those other things. And you actually connecting with them and connecting them with the message so that they can see themselves either in the message or taking something from that message. And because they don't care about you at all, you know.

Tim Newman [00:24:22]:
So one thing you said to me in our, in our pre-interview talk that struck you is that students today are both simultaneously confident, overconfident, and underconfident. And what does that tension actually look like when they communicate?

Christiane Schroeter [00:24:42]:
That, for instance, when I ask them to create a product in my innovation entrepreneurship class, they know what attributes or features the product should have, but that's not really going to sell a product. Nobody's buying a product just because it has features, right? You're going to associate yourself with the product if you really see the pain point that these features are solving. So they are confident in knowing what features the product should have, but they're really undercommunicating the pain points, and they feel sometimes even, let's say, uncomfortable in sharing pain points where in reality the best companies are sharing pain points. And the pain point becomes very clear and very much evident in like, oh, I'm experiencing this too, so what did you do to solve it? And then I'm delivering the features. So that's this underconfidence and overconfidence, a little bit of a Venn diagram where they need to share a little bit more about themselves, right? And not make themselves look like Instagram picture-perfect individuals and rather pull back and show the true self because they know what should go in the product. But I always say, so what? Who cares? Right? I mean, why do I care? And that's where really this disconnect is coming in.

Tim Newman [00:26:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. And Yeah, I think a lot of this ties back into their mentality and how they've been raised in the idea of how failing is bad and how they need— we've protected them. And it gets back into the whole idea of grit, that they're not very resilient. And so if we just stay even keel, if we just stay right in the middle, we don't ever have to get too high, we don't ever fail, but we're just kind of coasting under the radar. So, and you've done, you've done a lot of work with grit. So first, what does grit mean to you? And second, what separates the people who hang on long enough to succeed from the people who kind of tap out early and don't ever really get to that, get to that point?

Christiane Schroeter [00:27:08]:
Love it. I think grit is the ability to get up and get going when most people wouldn't do that. When you feel, no, there must be another way. I'm not going to give up. And you keep going. So think, like, in simplest terms, like when a toddler learns how to walk, right? You're not just going to, like, sit on the ground like, well, that didn't work out, right? I mean, like, that's not how it works. Like, you get up again. And my children, one was a quick walker, one was a slow walker.

Christiane Schroeter [00:27:43]:
But guess what? Now they're teenagers and nobody even thinks about the fact that one didn't walk until this particular age and month, and I didn't really write it down. But who cares? Because who cares?

Tim Newman [00:27:55]:
Who cares?

Christiane Schroeter [00:27:55]:
It just means that they got up and they kept going. Right? And that's what it means to me. It doesn't matter how long it takes you to get someplace. Just get up and keep going. Come on. I mean, what are you waiting for?

Tim Newman [00:28:08]:
Right? Yes, exactly. Get after it. It's And I'm kind of of the same mindset. It really doesn't matter as long as you get up, learn from the mistake, take another step forward. If you fall, learn from that mistake, get up, take another step, and eventually it'll happen. But if you quit, it's like if you don't ever ask the question, the answer is always going to be no. It's the same mentality. At least ask the question.

Tim Newman [00:28:35]:
At least get up and keep trying. You may not ever be the absolute best at something, but so what? At least you're doing the thing. At least you're moving forward, and that becomes part of your story.

Christiane Schroeter [00:28:50]:
Right. And completely agree. Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:28:53]:
And as you're going forward, this gets into the whole idea of self-talk. I mean, the self-talk, I'm as guilty of this as anybody, the negative self-talk about I'm horrible. I should have done this. I should have done that. As opposed to, you know, being a little bit more positive, celebrating the small wins. Yeah, we do have to focus on the things we have to get better at. But if we can, if we are continually putting ourselves down and having that negative talk in our head, that's, that's who we be, who we actually become.

Christiane Schroeter [00:29:28]:
Completely agree. And I also want to say, audience, If you think that when somebody tells you no, that basically means like, well, I guess it's just not going to happen, right? You apply somewhere and that person tells you no. Sometimes no just means next opportunity. Next opportunity. No, don't think this is the end of the road. Just think, all right, maybe I just need to kind of like shift gears a little bit. And I just go for the next opportunity because I know I can do this. And if you really look at all the amazing entrepreneurs, communicators, authors, right? The authors that are now famous all over the globe, J.K.

Christiane Schroeter [00:30:14]:
Rowling, for instance, she didn't just like say, oh, I'm just going to write Harry Potter over a weekend. I mean, she was struggling and, and really experiencing the no from so many different publishing houses until she just said, all right, I'm just going to keep going. Yeah, so many times you get rejected, just to become a better version of yourself, because you showed the grit in showing up on the next day, you just kept going. And that's really what it's all about.

Tim Newman [00:30:46]:
Yeah, that's a really good example with, with Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling. The whole idea, number one, just because those other publishers didn't take it didn't mean it wasn't any good. Just meant that it wasn't for them. They, they didn't see the value. They, they didn't get the point, whatever. It didn't mean that she was a horrible writer. Didn't mean it was a bad story.

Tim Newman [00:31:06]:
It just meant that they didn't see it. They didn't get it. So, you know, how many different coaches are there, right? I mean, you could say one thing, I could say the exact same thing in a different way, and it's going to hit people differently, right? Um, you know, it's— it— you— just because you don't get it the first time doesn't mean anything. It just means that it wasn't good. Not the right person, not the right time, not the right message. Move on, and it's okay.

Christiane Schroeter [00:31:37]:
Yeah. And, and I also want to say a little bit about coming back to my TEDx talk, which audience, of course, you are going to watch the TEDx talk in addition to grabbing my books on Amazon. So the TEDx talk, you might apply to hundreds of stages and you will always hear maybe the same answer: no, no, no. And then after a while, maybe you even like start to take it personal, like, oh my gosh, I'm not good enough, or this or that. But think about it this way: these people on the other side, when they get thousands of applications from these potential TEDx speakers, the way that I look at this is they already have an idea in mind, a theme for talks, and how they're going to fit together in a gallery around this theme. So your talk just didn't fit in the gallery. And that's okay. It's a beautiful talk.

Christiane Schroeter [00:32:37]:
And it probably goes in a different gallery. Just not in this particular one right there, because the, the, the, the spaces were just like different than the one that you're going to take up, or maybe the lighting or the theme or whatever. So it doesn't mean that your talk is bad, it just doesn't fit. It's like a lock and a key, right? It just didn't open that particular door. So don't say, well, I'm just never going to be a TEDx speaker. I mean, when I presented my TEDx talk, there were people presenting with me that had tried hundreds of different applications and they flew from all over the world to present on that very day. So that's what grit is, that you're not going to let that stop you.

Tim Newman [00:33:20]:
And I'm glad, and again, I'm glad you said that. I'm glad you, you, you've finished it with the whole idea. There were hundreds there and they came from all over the place and it's, it's a You've got to find the right time, the right place, the right message, the right audience. And it's not personal. And found out like 2 or 3 days ago, I applied to speak at a youth conference and wasn't accepted. And I saw the lineup of speakers and the theme of it. I said, yeah, my message was not in line with what they were looking for. No big deal.

Tim Newman [00:34:00]:
It's, it's going to happen. Move on to the next one. But let's, let's really talk about your, your TEDx talk and the whole idea of petite practice. So for someone who has not heard your talk yet, but we know they're going to listen, what is petite practice and why does it work so well for building confidence?

Christiane Schroeter [00:34:24]:
Petite practice is a small step then when taken consistently, leads to a big impact. So to build confidence, what you can do is just start with small actions, small steps that you take consistently, and over time, it's really going to create momentum. Because you take it consistently, you're seeing the small wins, you start celebrating them, it creates momentum. And then eventually you're going to feel you're ready for that talk. Nobody steps on the red dot on the TEDx stage and just delivers a 15-minute talk. It takes repeated small steps and actions to get yourself ready for that. And that is probably one of the best examples really that to become a speaker, to become an author, to become a coach, you just need to take small steps and do them repeatedly because those small steps help on those days when you may be not exactly feeling like practicing, or maybe on those days when you don't have a lot of time. And because it's small, you can still add it into your day and you still feel you're working towards your goal and you feel you get just a little bit closer to it.

Christiane Schroeter [00:35:43]:
And this will actually lead in economics because of a PhD in economics. To like this compounding effect of small little steps that over time really create that amazing big impact, that moment when you step on that stage.

Tim Newman [00:36:00]:
So, so break down your, your process for preparing for that TED Talk. I mean, you gave us a little bit about the, the caroling, but what else? And, and your students, but what, what else did you do? And what do you think the entire amount of time 15 minutes was, was a presentation. How much time went into it before the actual talk?

Christiane Schroeter [00:36:24]:
Yeah, so I'm actually, um, in my book that was just published last week, which is called Step Into Your Voice, I'm giving a lot of tips and tricks and worksheets that you can use to prepare for a talk such as a TEDx talk. So I would encourage you go to Amazon, Type in Step Into Your Voice and check that out. Secondly, what I really want to encourage you is, of course, for you, your journey might be individually totally different than mine. So keep in mind, I'm a professor, so I teach on a daily basis. I'm also a presenter, so I, because of a PhD, I go to conference. Audiences, so I'm familiar with audiences. So everybody's, everybody's journey might look a little bit different. So that's all right too.

Christiane Schroeter [00:37:14]:
But the most important thing, aside from getting the book, aside from knowing that your journey individually might be just a little different from somebody else's journey, is that you have to give yourself a really long runway. I call it the runway to the red dot. Your runway should be as long as possible. Long as possible. Because if there's one thing that in communication cannot be forced, is that it needs to sound really natural, and it needs to sound that it comes from the heart, from the inside. Because if you feel you know your talk and you could deliver it like you are to tell your best friend a story, that's really when the magic happens. It cannot sound rehearsed or, you know, kind of like chopped them like machines, or definitely you should just feel at ease and confident and like you can't wait to share this talk with the world. At that point you reach that, and there is definitely, I would say, weeks and months of preparation to get ready for that particular moment when you feel, okay, now I'm just telling a story.

Christiane Schroeter [00:38:23]:
I don't even feel like I'm speaking from a memorized script anymore.

Tim Newman [00:38:28]:
To be good at anything, you know, I don't care what it is, it takes work, it takes practice. And, you know, being a speaker, I think sometimes people just think that, you know, you have the knowledge, you know, you have, you have some, some skill doing it, you, you know, some, some tricks, and you can just go ahead and do it. But if you look at the people that are really good, you know, if you look at You know, obviously the big names, but there are so many other people who are not necessarily, you know, big names that are also really good. It takes time, work, effort to be good at something. It doesn't matter what you get into. And I think for students to understand that, that there are no shortcuts to be good at anything. So you're gonna have to make some decisions. On how much you actually want to devote to your craft, whatever that is.

Christiane Schroeter [00:39:23]:
I love that. And actually, let me give you an example from the world of my husband. My husband is a golfer. And if you play golf, you can totally associate with this. Now, if you don't play golf, maybe an athlete, you can also associate yourself with that. So in golf, every shot counts exactly the same. So it doesn't matter whether you hit a really long shot, you know, like your drive, and it's like going a long ways, or you do a putt, which could just be like a foot or 2 feet or anything like that. It counts the exact same numerical value.

Christiane Schroeter [00:40:01]:
Now let's translate this to being a good speaker. It doesn't matter whether you give a 90-second elevator pitch or a 15-minute TEDx talk. It has to be a very good and impactful talk. So to necessarily say, oh, here I am giving this longer talk and it's going to take me longer to prepare, the strategy, the preparation behind it is still the same. And if you look at some really good golfers, they have drills that they do every single day. And they go out on the golf course and you will see them like hours before the tournament and they do these drills or maybe during the tournament, you even see them like doing little drills, like little practice swings. So good speakers do that. They practice every single day, every single day.

Christiane Schroeter [00:40:54]:
They don't just wait until this event happens because they want to walk away and feeling like I give the very best thing I could. And to me, I just stayed in the practice. And I think that is something that is underestimated. If it looks like it's easy, it's definitely— it was a lot of work. That's what I always tell my students. If it— because I'm a fitness instructor. And when people look at me on the stage, and they think this is easy what I'm doing, and they do it along with me, and it's like, wow, this is really hard. 'Why does it look so easy when she does it?' It's like, because it was a lot of work to get to that particular level.

Tim Newman [00:41:35]:
Yeah, it's— there's nothing— there's nothing worth having in life that's easy. And again, I think that's something, you know, for Gen Zs to truly understand. Um, you know, and I kind of get it. I know sometimes I sound like, you know, I sound like my grandparents used to sound when I was a kid. But, you know, to understand that where we were. I graduated high school in 1986. In 1986, we didn't have cell phones. We didn't have, you know, we had call waiting and, uh, answering machines is what we had.

Tim Newman [00:42:09]:
That's what that was. It— and now everything comes instant. If you send somebody a text message and they don't answer that text message in 10 seconds, you think the whole world's come to an end. Why haven't they answered my question? It's the most important question in the history of the world, and I need an answer right now. And it's the same thing from a, from a skill development perspective. Understand, take a deep breath, step back, do the work, put the time and effort into it, and eventually it'll come. And if you do those types of things, those small steps like you talked about, that they will compound and you will get better and better and better. You can't just— things aren't just going to happen overnight.

Christiane Schroeter [00:42:51]:
I love that you're, you're bringing this up because I think that we, we sometimes feel things should just fall into our lap and, and it's, it's definitely something I can just Google it or look it up on YouTube or ChatGPT is going to give me the answer. But there's a beautiful advertisement by Nike that I frequently show my students and my students don't enjoy watching this. Not all of them at least do, but the message is really good. So it's showing a Nike marathon runner, and it shows various other runners that are just like average people running. And it shows them running and being uncomfortable, getting up early in the morning, standing at the side of a road when it's raining, maybe even like after a race, like having pushed yourself so hard that you need throw up. And it says winning is not comfortable. And then when you watch this afterwards, I asked my students, so how do you feel? And they're like, oh my gosh, this rings too close to home. And I'm like, yeah, because guess what? Winning is not comfortable.

Christiane Schroeter [00:44:01]:
You look at these people and you think, oh my gosh, like they have their life together. And it looks like it's just amazing. And it's easy when reality, you didn't see that, that it was raining, that they were throwing up, that they were in pain, that they had to get up early in the morning, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Winning is not comfortable. It's that journey, right? That really is where you need to push through that resilience, the grit that you build every single time before you even show up on the stage of that TEDx talk. And that is so important to understand.

Tim Newman [00:44:33]:
Yeah, it's kind of like an iceberg. We only see the top 10% outside. We don't see the other 85 to 90% that's under the hard work, the grit, right? The grit, the resilience, the hard part. As a runner, your knees hurt, your ankles hurt, your back hurts. You're up early in the morning, you're tired, you got to go for another run in the afternoon, whatever it is. You never see that. And you're absolutely right.

Christiane Schroeter [00:45:06]:
It's actually called the iceberg illusion. There is such a thing that's called the iceberg illusion because it happens on social media all the time where you think, oh, everybody has their life together, just not me. Yeah.

Tim Newman [00:45:19]:
And again, well, that to me, that's the Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok world. It's what people see or what we want to portray to everybody. Here's the reality. We're We're all a hot mess in some way, shape, manner, or form. You know, there's not anybody that I know that has everything in their life together. We're all just doing the best we can to, to, to get through it, to excel, to be good at whatever it is, to add value to people, to help you, whatever it is. You know, if you saw my house right now, it's a mess, right? But I had clean clothes today. So that's all that really matters.

Tim Newman [00:45:58]:
It's what we are portraying. That's not the reality of everybody's life.

Christiane Schroeter [00:46:06]:
I love that you bring this up, actually, because just yesterday I recorded a video for my YouTube channel, and the name of that video is Home Alone. And it's just like the famous holiday movie. Home Alone. Oh gosh, Kevin gets left home alone. And the family takes off. And all of a sudden, they realize, oh my gosh, Kevin. And he has the best time. And he goes through all this.

Christiane Schroeter [00:46:37]:
But there are a lot of people that actually spend home alone for the holidays. And that is like, so like, oh my gosh, like, if, if that's you experiencing that for the first time, It feels like everybody else has their life together and they have traditions and cultures and amazing holidays and just not me. It's like in reality, I think the holidays are stressful for anybody.

Tim Newman [00:47:04]:
They're very stressful.

Christiane Schroeter [00:47:05]:
So you might just have an amazing time being home alone and dealing with everything else. So if your home is messy, enjoy it because it means you have stuff. Right? You can actually make a mess because there's stuff there. If your dishes are piling up in the sink, yay, it means you ate food and you have dishes. That's two wins right there. Right?

Tim Newman [00:47:27]:
Exactly. And I know the holidays are stressful in my family because I got grandkids now. So as a grandfather, as Pops, I get to go to my kids' house and I get to have fun with the grandkids. And, you know, my, my daughters and their husbands have to put up with all that. So I, you know, it's that, that's on them. I've done my time. I'm gonna have fun with the grandkids. They let them worry about all the stressful stuff, cleaning up.

Tim Newman [00:47:53]:
And let's talk about your book a little bit because I knew we had talked about it before, but I had no idea that it had come out already. So, so, uh, Step Into Your Voice, what's it about?

Christiane Schroeter [00:48:04]:
All right, so let me first show you. Okay, so we will see audience. We talked about this just a little bit ago, the lock and the key.

Tim Newman [00:48:13]:
Yep.

Christiane Schroeter [00:48:13]:
The essence of step into your voice is that you unlock your unique value that you want to share with the world. You unlock your message. And we all have it deep down in us where we are feeling there's something I'm here to do, something I'm here to create. Something I'm here to share. I just don't really know what that is. Or maybe people do know it and they're just too afraid to share it. So my book guides you through the framework that I used when I prepared for my TEDx Talk, which is my STEP system. It guides you through discovering your message, becoming really clear with your goal, but also becoming a confident communicator, marketing, branding, creating an elevator pitch, and then really setting yourself up for that first, whether it's a big talk or it's a publishing or presentation, anything like that.

Christiane Schroeter [00:49:12]:
So this is really a framework built in worksheets that's super fun, interactive, and of course super successful because I've used it with my students. And I'm just opening up one page right there. I even have definitions. We just talked about definitions. I even have those in there.

Tim Newman [00:49:30]:
Yeah.

Christiane Schroeter [00:49:32]:
So it's, it's, it's a lovely, um, it's a lovely framework. And, um, I always feel when I create some, when I do something good that I have to share it with the world. And that's what happened.

Tim Newman [00:49:44]:
Well, first off, congratulations on getting it done. You know, I, I just published my book a couple of months ago. It's been about a month ago. And it's a lot of hard work. It's a— there's a lot that goes into it, and you should be congratulated on it because it's not an easy thing to do. And now you're sharing that with the world. You're adding value to so many other people that can learn from this. And not a whole lot of words.

Tim Newman [00:50:12]:
I just think it's awesome. Anytime somebody accomplishes that goal of publishing a book, they should really be proud of themselves. And I'm sure you are. I'm sure your family is.

Christiane Schroeter [00:50:23]:
Yeah. And actually, what my fun thing is that it's, it's great when you publish a book and you see it on Amazon. It's even better when you actually receive it in the mail and you open it for the first time and you feel it. It's like a communicator, like you're opening it like Oh my gosh, that's me. So when you're writing a book, because of course we're not putting this on typewriters.

Tim Newman [00:50:51]:
I mean, it's right now, maybe at one point, but when nobody does that.

Christiane Schroeter [00:50:54]:
So when you're writing a book and you're submitting it, it's kind of a cool feeling. But the moment your book actually arrives in the mail, oh my gosh, that's like the best. It's just like receiving a Christmas card versus like a text message. When you open a card and you look at the picture and you're reading it, that's a really good moment. So I would encourage you, don't get the Kindle version of the book, buy the actual version because you can see how cute it is, right? You cannot miss out on this cuteness and you actually really want to see it. Yes, yes, yes.

Tim Newman [00:51:25]:
Well, have you signed books and sent them out? Because I've got a story, you know, when I got my books. And to me, that's a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. I actually cried a couple times as I, you know, Thank people. And I had the, I had my book. Okay, my book. It was, it was my book. It was sitting on my desk and I had a stack of books that I was signing and sending out.

Tim Newman [00:51:51]:
And I picked up my book and I wrote something in it and signed it and I put it in the stack to go in the mail. And as I was putting labels on it to, okay, this goes to this person, I realized that I had signed my book. And I said, well, that's my book. It had some things in there so that I had made notes in and some things. And I said, well, it's— it was signed to somebody who meant a lot to me. So I still sent them that. I gave them another book and I signed both books. They got both of them.

Tim Newman [00:52:26]:
So now I've got to go and figure out how I'm going to get that because that was the original, original copy. That was copy number, number 1. And I still have other books, but it's one of those things that, you know, it's just like you said, when you get that book and you get it in your hand, there's a, there's, there's that feeling of euphoria, accomplishment, you know, and in academia, you know, people write books all the time. That was actually my second book. So I've done it before. Been through the process, but when you complete it and you get it in your hand, that's the— there's, there's, there's nothing like it, really isn't.

Christiane Schroeter [00:53:06]:
Yeah. And that's actually also for this generation that's maybe listening to it and not reading books.

Tim Newman [00:53:13]:
Um, yes.

Christiane Schroeter [00:53:15]:
I mean, I could say something like, uh, why are you not reading? But don't worry about it. I understand there's so much noise out there. I cannot, I cannot say there's never a bad day, a bad moment, a bad minute when you maybe shouldn't make the decision not to read, right? So just pick it up, pick up a book, a book, right? Or an audiobook or a podcast and start actually consuming words because we talked earlier about languages. The what happens in your brain when you're listening to books or you're reading books is really tremendous. And I cannot emphasize how important that is. And who knows, one day, maybe you listen to these books, you know, like, oh, I really like what they wrote. And it resonated with me so much. I want to write my own book.

Christiane Schroeter [00:54:05]:
Who knows?

Tim Newman [00:54:06]:
Yeah, who knows? And it's had a conversation with somebody this morning happened this morning. The more you read, The better writer you're going to be. The better writer you are, the better communicator you are, the better speaker you are. It's rare that you're going to have somebody that is really good at one and has not done the other two. If you want to be able to influence people, if you want to lead people, if you want to be on stages, if you want to be running team meetings, if you want to be the one that's interviewing people, You've got to read, you've got to write, and you got to learn how to communicate. Christiana, where can people find you and connect with you?

Christiane Schroeter [00:54:50]:
Well, go to Amazon, put in my name.

Tim Newman [00:54:53]:
Amazon, buy the book.

Christiane Schroeter [00:54:54]:
Dr. Christiana Schroeder. Find me on Amazon. And of course, grab my book right there. You can find also my website, drchristiana.com. And then of course, check out my podcast, Happy Healthy Hustle, ranked top 1% globally. And most importantly of all, you cannot miss out on the fun, bubbly individual that I am without subscribing to my YouTube channel, Dr. Christiana, because that's really where the action is.

Christiane Schroeter [00:55:28]:
We are publishing videos there. Just filmed a whole bunch yesterday in front of a a Christmas tree. And I think that's, if you really want to see me in action, that's the best place. So Dr. Christiana is my YouTube channel. So tune in there. And if you have any questions, check out, um, you know, my website, there's a contact form and reach out, please.

Tim Newman [00:55:50]:
Thank you so much. Buy the book, watch the TEDx, go to YouTube, and I'm going to put all those links in, in the show notes for everybody. Christiana, thank you so much for your time today. You provided such good value and good tips for our listeners. I can't thank you enough. Enjoy the rest of the semester. Have a Merry Christmas, and we'll talk to you soon.

Christiane Schroeter [00:56:13]:
Thank you.

Tim Newman [00:56:15]:
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free ebook, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Formulas for Public Speaking Speaking Course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time. Take care.