Are you struggling to truly connect with Gen Z team members at work—or maybe you’re a Gen Z professional frustrated by colleagues who don’t seem to get where you’re coming from? In this episode of Speaking with Confidence, I tackle a challenge that’s becoming more important every day: How can we break down the generational communication barriers at work to build authentic relationships and boost performance for everyone?
I’m Tim Newman, a former college professor turned communication coach, and as your host, I’ve spent years watching the dynamics between Boomers, Gen Xers, Millennials, and Gen Z play out both in classrooms and boardrooms. Today, I unpack what really prevents us from connecting and share practical, powerful strategies you can use to start bridging the gap now—no matter which generation you’re in.
In this episode, I share plenty of real-world stories from my own career and consulting experience, plus research insights from leadership expert Dr. Tim Elmore. We dive into why the old “positional authority” model just doesn’t work with Gen Z, who grew up with access to unlimited information and have learned to question everything—including your title! Instead, we explore how building trust and authentic connection is the key to motivating and retaining Gen Z employees, and how these skills make us stronger communicators with everybody.
Here’s what we cover in this episode:
- How making people truly feel heard (not just tolerated) leads to better motivation and results
- The single biggest communication mistake managers make with Gen Z—and how to fix it
- Why authority means nothing if it isn’t backed by trust and demonstrative competence
- Three essential pillars for rebuilding your communication style: listening like you could be wrong, radical authenticity, and co-creating clarity with your team
- Step-by-step ways to transform feedback meetings from judgmental monologues into collaborative, solution-focused dialogues
- Simple, actionable tactics for onboarding new hires so they feel like they belong from day one—starting with relationship building over rules and policies
- Real case studies showing how these changes boost performance, deepen psychological safety, and drastically improve retention
- The difference between high accountability and strong connection—and why you don’t have to choose between the two
- A practical behavior change you can implement this week: brief, consistent, agenda-free check-ins that help you solve problems before they become resignations
Whether you’re a manager trying to motivate your Gen Z talent or a Gen Z professional craving genuine dialogue, this episode will arm you with strategies that work. Join me as we move beyond outdated authority models and start building the trust, clarity, and connection our workplaces—and our world—sorely need.
Thanks for listening and don’t forget to check out the free resources and courses at speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com. Let's make your voice—and your conversations—powerful enough to change your world.
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Transcript
Tim Newman [00:00:09]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Are you a boomer, Gen Xer, or millennial who is frustrated and doesn’t know how to communicate or motivate the Gen Z workers of today? Or are you a Gen Z professional who is frustrated with the boomers, Gen Xers and millennials because they don’t listen and don’t get you? In this episode, we’ll give everyone some strategies to start making better connections. The strategies I implemented in my career as a professor was to make sure that my students felt heard and had some agency in the classroom. We had class norms and modeled behavior so that everyone got a chance to participate and be heard. If I asked a question and students gave an answer that I wasn’t looking for, instead of saying no where that’s wrong, I pivoted to asking them to explain if that answer was close or on topic. I would say that’s close, but not the answer I was looking for.
Tim Newman [00:01:23]:
This is great for an academic class, but what about the workplace? How can we take some of these strategies into the business setting? That’s what we’re going to talk about today, so let’s dive in. You know that feeling when you’re trying to explain something to a Gen Z employee or team member and you can just see their eyes glaze over? You’re giving clear instructions, you’re being logical. You’re the experienced one here, right? But the connection just isn’t happening. And you walk away thinking what just happened? Almost perfectly clear. Here’s what happened. You were committing the single biggest communication mistake with Gen Z. Assuming they have no valuable answers, you were talking like you were right, but listening close mindedly. Using communication to broadcast authority instead of building a connection.
Tim Newman [00:02:16]:
The solution is to talk confidently while listening like you could be wrong, making them feel heard. Does this sound familiar? A brilliant director who was frustrated with his new Gen Z hires seemed disengaged. During team meetings, he’d lay out the quarterly goals with flawless logic. But he wasn’t getting the buy in. The problem wasn’t his strategy, it was his delivery. He was communicating at them, not with them. And the leadership expert, Dr. Tim Elmore, nails why this fails for Gen Z.
Tim Newman [00:02:50]:
Being heard isn’t a bonus feature of communication. It’s the entire point. They equate being heard with being valued. If they don’t feel heard, your authority means nothing. So why does a traditional positional authority model, the I’m the boss so listen up approach, completely fall flat with this generation? It’s because they’ve been trained from birth to question authority. They grew up with the Internet, where anyone with a smartphone can fact check you in real time. Your title doesn’t impress them, your track record does. Dr.
Tim Newman [00:03:26]:
Elmore’s research shows that trust for Gen Z is earned through demonstrative competence, character, not hand it out with a business card. They need to see that you know what you’re doing and that you’re a person of integrity. This creates a massive disconnect, especially during onboarding. The old model was to overload new hires with rule books and procedures. The effective model is to create purpose with them from day one. Think about the last time you gave feedback. Did you walk in with the answers or did you walk in with questions? When you assume you’re correct from the start, you shut down the vulnerability required for genuine two way feedback. You’re not creating a dialogue, you’re delivering a monologue.
Tim Newman [00:04:15]:
And the person on the receiving end learns to just nod and wait for you to finish. The tangible cost of this mistake is staggering. It shows up as disengagement, quiet quitting, and shockingly high turnover. I’ve worked with Gen Z students in internships and entry level positions whose feedback consistently echoes the same theme. My supervisor doesn’t listen to my ideas. They weren’t leaving for better opportunities elsewhere. They were leaving because they felt invisible. Their perspectives and fresh insights weren’t being valued.
Tim Newman [00:04:51]:
Now, to be fair, most Gen Z probably needs to learn how to better communicate those ideas, and we may cover that in another episode. And this isn’t about being soft, this is about being smart. High accountability and strong connection aren’t opposites. They’re two sides of the same coin. Can’t hold someone to a high standard if you haven’t first built that trust that makes sense, that standard meaningful. When you lead with listening, you’re not giving up your authority, you’re investing in it. You’re building a foundation of respect that makes your authority actually mean something. And without that trust, your title is just a word.
Tim Newman [00:05:34]:
So how do you actually rebuild communication around trust instead of authority? It comes down to three non negotiable pillars. And the first one might feel counterintuitive. You need to listen like you’re wrong. I know that sounds uncomfortable, but think about it. When you listen like you’re right. You’re just waiting for your turn to talk. You’re scanning for confirmation of what you already believe. Listening like you’re wrong means entering every conversation with genuine curiosity.
Tim Newman [00:06:07]:
What if this person sees something I’m missing? What if their perspective completely changes my approach? And this starts with implementing a weekly listening cadence. Not a performance review, not a status Update, a dedicated 15 minute check in that is solely about them. Your only job in that meeting is to understand their world. You start with one simple question. What’s working from your perspective this week? What’s feeling stuck? Then you shut up. You take notes. You resist the urge to problem solve. You’re mining for their reality, not projecting yours.
Tim Newman [00:06:49]:
The second pillar is radical authenticity. This is where you drop the leader as expert facade and share your own uncertainties. When I realized I was not connecting with Gen Z population, I started asking questions about why that was and I began getting feedback directly from them. I started hiring Gen Z individuals to help me be better at connecting with them. And the results improved significantly. This shift wasn’t a sign of weakness. It was an act of authenticity. By showing vulnerability, I created an environment where everyone felt empowered to be genuine.
Tim Newman [00:07:26]:
Transparency is particularly powerful during onboarding. The old ways present a perfect polished version of the company. The new way, be real about the challenges. Say, here are three things we’re genuinely great at and here’s one area where we’re still figuring it out. We brought you in because we think you can help us with that. That builds more trust in one conversation than a month of corporate propaganda. But remember, you have to follow through, letting them help you figure it out. The third pillar is co creating clarity.
Tim Newman [00:08:04]:
This is the ultimate shift from here are the rules to here’s our shared goal. Instead of dictating the process, you involve them in designing it. You move from saying you need to hit these metrics to to. Our team goal is to improve customer satisfaction based on your experience. What’s the most impactful way we can measure that? What would success look like to you? This is where communication becomes a collaboration instead of a command. You’re not watering down your standards, you’re raising their ownership. And when people help build the target, they’re infinitely more committed to hitting it. They’re not working for you, they’re working with you.
Tim Newman [00:08:48]:
Now let’s get practical. How do you bake these pillars into our actual systems? Starting with the most dreaded meeting in business, the feedback session. You need to transform the feedback meeting from a monologue into a dialogue. Here’s a Simple template. The meeting starts with you asking from your perspective, what? What’s going well with this project and what could be going better. Let them speak first. Let them own the assessment. Your role is to understand their viewpoint before you ever share yours.
Tim Newman [00:09:23]:
This completely changes the dynamic. Instead of being the judge hanging down a verdict, you become a partner solving a problem together. The conversation naturally flows to okay, so if we both see that as a challenge, what’s one thing we could try differently next week? It’s no longer about defending performance. It’s about improving outcomes. And that’s a conversation anyone can lean into. Onboarding requires an even bigger redesign. Most companies treat the first week as an information dump. Here’s your laptop.
Tim Newman [00:09:58]:
Here’s the HR manual. Here are 47 slides about our corporate values. It’s overwhelming and impersonal. Flip it. The first week should be about relationship building, not policy memorization. Schedule coffee chats, not formal meetings with key people across the organization. The goal isn’t to teach them the organizational chart. It’s to help them find their people.
Tim Newman [00:10:24]:
You can introduce them to someone in marketing who loves the same obscure indie band. Connect them with an engineer who also ran a marathon. These human connections are what makes someone feel like they belong. And belonging is what makes them stay. I saw this transformation firsthand with a team lead named Whitney. She had a brilliant new hire who was underperforming. The traditional approach would have been to sit him down and list his shortcomings. Instead, Whitney tried the listening first method.
Tim Newman [00:10:57]:
In their check in she discovered he was terrified of making a mistake because his last manager had publicly shamed him for a small error. He wasn’t disengaged. He was paralyzed. So they co created a safe to fail plan. He would take on a small, low stakes project where the primary goal was learning, not perfection. The result? Within a month, he was not only meeting expectations, but proposing innovations the team had never considered. The measurable outcome was a complete turnaround in his performance. But the real win was the psychological safety that allowed that performance to emerge.
Tim Newman [00:11:37]:
The payoff for rebuilding these systems is concrete. You’ll see increased psychological safety, which Google’s project Aristotle identified as as a number one predictor of team success. You’ll see proactive problem solving instead of passive compliance. People will bring you solutions instead of hiding problems. They’ll start saying I have an idea instead of is it okay if I try something? And this shift isn’t about being nice, it’s about being effective. When you create an environment where people feel heard, valued and trusted, they give you their discretionary effort, the energy that separates adequate performance from exceptional work. They stop working for a paycheck and start working for a purpose. And that’s an ROI that no amount of positional authority can ever command.
Tim Newman [00:12:28]:
So here’s a behavior change that changes everything. Implement a consistent brief check in, focused solely on listening. Fifteen minutes a week, no agenda. You stop guessing about their needs and start addressing their actual concerns. The immediate payoff is clarity. You’ll spot disengagement before it becomes a resignation letter. That’s all for today. Remember, we’re looking for progress, not perfection.
Tim Newman [00:12:55]:
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Formula for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change your world. We’ll talk to you next time. Take care.