Have you ever wondered what it actually means to communicate with confidence and why so many intelligent, high-performing people still struggle with it? In this episode, I dive deep into that question with Chris Johnson, a renowned sales and leadership coach who’s built multimillion dollar organizations and equipped countless professionals to close deals, build thriving teams, and lead under pressure.
Together, Chris and I unpack the real problem behind poor communication: most people think it happened, but it didn’t. Chris explains why true communication means your message is actually received and remembered, not just spoken. We discuss personality types (like DISC), and why understanding who you’re talking to is essential for success, whether you’re giving a speech, interviewing, networking, or managing a team.
Chris shares hard-earned insights on the importance of listening, drawing on his experience as a sales trainer. He believes everyone you meet is your superior in some way, and it’s your job to discover what you can learn from them. We talk about powerful lessons learned from children, family, and clients, and why approaching conversations as a student rather than a teacher will transform your life.
Here’s what we covered in our conversation:
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The hidden gap between speaking and true communication
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How to tailor your message based on personality types like DISC
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Why listening is the most critical part of communication
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The mindset of approaching every conversation as a student
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Real-world stories about learning leadership from unexpected places
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The myth of instant confidence, and how it’s really built
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Overcoming the fear of imperfection in public speaking and video
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Helping one person vs. speaking to a crowd
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The impact of isolation, technology, and COVID on Gen Z’s communication skills
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The four levels of wealth and communication’s role in high earnings
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Practical advice for young professionals to transform their communication
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Why goal-setting should be about transforming yourself, not just hitting targets
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Continuous improvement and the importance of learning new things outside your craft
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How speaking with confidence goes far beyond words to posture, mannerisms, mindset, and clarity
If you’re ready to transform the way you communicate, gain lasting confidence, and help others along the way, this episode is for you. Chris Johnson’s wisdom and practical frameworks will challenge and inspire you to take action one conversation at a time.
Connect with Chris:
- Website: https://www.chrisjohnsonleadershipservices.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chris-johnson-08877624b/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/chris-johnson-leadership-services/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@chrisjohnsonleadershipservices/videos
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Transcript
Tim Newman [00:00:00]: Foreign. Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on a journey to a powerful communicator. If you've ever wondered what a true servant leader looks and sounds like, stay tuned for today's guest. Today's guest is Chris Johnson. Chris is a sales and leadership coach who helps business owners and sales teams increase revenue, communicate with confidence, and lead under pressure. With over a decade of experience in high performance sales and building multimillion dollar organizations, Chris equips people with practical frameworks they can apply immediately to close more deals, build stronger teams, and create lasting momentum. Tim Newman [00:01:00]: Chris, welcome to Speaking with Confidence, bud. Chris Johnson [00:01:03]: Hey, man, glad to be here. Thank you so much, Tim. I appreciate you. Tim Newman [00:01:07]: You know, it's, you know, I talk about servant leaders and, you know, the group that we kind of hang with and learn from and mentor each other in, that's what we all try and be. And I truly mean that. You know, the way that you serve others and help them is really kind of beyond measure. And I want to thank you first and foremost and let this community know how much your friendship and your leadership has meant to be in the short time we've known each other. Chris Johnson [00:01:38]: Well, I feel the same way. I mean, you know what? We literally have been on Zoom calls together for over a year, and then we literally got to eat dinner one time last year in August. And, you know, it's just epic, you know, to come together and meet people in person and build that camaraderie. And so I really appreciate your friendship and I look forward to seeing what God's going to do with this. Tim Newman [00:02:02]: I think he's got big plans. You know, that's, that's the one thing we've got to let. Let our plans go to the side and follow his plan for us. Sometimes it's, it takes us in places we had no idea we were going to go. But, but, but let's talk about what you're doing. You know, you work with leaders and entrepreneurs and really high performers and, you know, and when it comes to communication, what's the real problem that most people don't realize that they have yet? Chris Johnson [00:02:31]: The problem most people don't know they have with communication is it's really quite simple. They actually think it happened. Tim Newman [00:02:42]: Yeah. Chris Johnson [00:02:42]: And it didn't. And so let me, let me clarify. So, so if you, if you Say something in a way that doesn't resonate or reside in the memory of the person you're saying it to. You did not communicate, you might have talked. But communication is, is only done when something's received. Tim Newman [00:03:09]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:03:10]: So the, one of the biggest problems with communication is most people think it happened and it didn't. Tim Newman [00:03:17]: Right? Right. Chris Johnson [00:03:18]: One of the ways that you can improve that is by understanding the personalities of the people you're talking to. So I can say things four different ways. So you know, we teach the DISC personality training, right. The D, I, S and C. And so if you've got a dominant personality, you can say the exact same thing to him that, that really, really resonates. Take the same thing you said to him. And if you say it to a high S personality that's real sensitive, they're real systematic, they're real loyal, they're kind hearted, they're gentle, they're non confrontational. But if you say it to them the exact same way you said it to a high D personality, you're going to offend them and they're not going to receive it. Chris Johnson [00:04:08]: So that's the biggest problem, not knowing who you're talking to. Tim Newman [00:04:11]: Right. And that goes to any type of communication. Chris Johnson [00:04:16]: Right. Tim Newman [00:04:16]: I mean it's whether you have kids, whether you're, you know, in a job interview, a networking event, a team meeting, it doesn't really matter. You have to understand who that audience is and where they're coming from. And sometimes I get it, it's hard. And sometimes you've got to step into a space that you're really uncomfortable with to be able to communicate with that person or that group of people. But that's what really has to happen. And you have to start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable and stepping into those spaces and learning how to do that. I just read Tim Elmore's book about a month or so ago and he makes a really good point that when we talk, we should talk like we're right. We should talk with that confidence that we're right. Tim Newman [00:05:06]: But the big thing I think people also miss is the listening part and what he says. We, we need to talk like we're count, like we're right, more confident, but we need to listen like we're wrong and be open and be open to some of that feedbackers or some of the things that other people are saying. What's your view on or on listening and your, your level of importance of listening when you talk about communication? Chris Johnson [00:05:30]: So I'm a sales trainer first and foremost. That's What I do, I teach people how to sell. And the biggest part of selling is listening. The biggest part of understanding people is listening. The biggest and most important thing for human beings is to be heard and understood. And when you feel heard and understood, you actually will reveal more information. You'll let your guard down, you'll become more transparent. But when you're not heard and understood, you'll put a guard up. Chris Johnson [00:06:12]: You'll be defensive, you'll be standoffish. And so listening is a really, really big deal. And here's, here's a motto that I use. And it's a methodology that if, if you ever get a hold of this, this statement, it'll change your life for the rest of your life. Every person on earth you meet is your superior in one way or another. And it is your job to find in that way and learn from them. Tim Newman [00:06:45]: Say that again, please. Chris Johnson [00:06:47]: I'm gonna say it one more time. Every human being on earth is your superior in one way or another. It is your job to find that way and learn therein. Tim Newman [00:07:06]: That's a powerful statement and very thought provoking. Chris Johnson [00:07:10]: How did a statement make you feel? Tim Newman [00:07:12]: That, that it's, it gave me chills. And here's where I went with that. Okay. And I've, I've told the story a couple times, but this past summer we were on family vacation and it was my daughters and their families and their grandkids. And the day comes, we got to pack up the house to, to go home and I'm playing on the floor with my, with my granddaughter. She, she's five. And my wife and I are teasing each other and my wife shoots back to me, shush. And my five year old granddaughter, that's what she said. Tim Newman [00:07:47]: She said, don't you shush, pops. And what that statement tells me is even at five years old, she understands that you've got to let people talk and other people need to listen. And she didn't get the whole teasing piece, but she understood and how that made her feel because she was serious when she said that it wasn't a joke. And you know, if, if a 5 year old can get that and think about that statement that you just, just said. Why do we lose that, that as we get older? Why do we lose the openness of listening to other people and, and what they have to say and learn from those other people as we get older. That's where that, where that statement took me. Chris Johnson [00:08:31]: Well, think about what you learned from your granddaughter at five. Tim Newman [00:08:34]: Yeah. Yeah. Chris Johnson [00:08:35]: Could you really honestly say that your five Year old could teach you anything. No, no, but she did in that moment. Tim Newman [00:08:44]: She sure did. Chris Johnson [00:08:45]: And so think about that. In every walk of life, everybody we meet that we think we're better than we think, we're smarter than we think, we don't need them in our life, they have something that they know that we need to know. Tim Newman [00:09:01]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:09:02]: And we got to figure out what that is. And if we'll go into every conversation as a student, not a teacher, we will literally transform our life. Tim Newman [00:09:14]: Exactly. We. You will. And, you know, you and I had conversation last night, you know, as we, you know, we're doing some other things. And I had a dinner with another client. He's going through some things in the organization that he's with and big finance things. And really I was trying to coach him on how he's going to communicate this with his stakeholders. And I'm asking him some questions and trying to guide him and help him to understand how he's going to communicate. Tim Newman [00:09:51]: I mean, I can't do that for him. He has to figure it out, but put him in that position. And as we, as we were driving Chris Johnson [00:09:57]: home, Tim Newman [00:09:59]: my wife asked why I was asking some of those questions. And really it came down to number one, for me to truly understand where he was, but also for him to understand things from a different perspective as well, to be able to do that. But I can't help him if I don't truly understand what he's thinking and what some of those other, other pieces are that we don't never really talk about, you know, in our, in our coaching relationship. So, so he can understand, so I can understand better to help him in those types of things. And, you know, I think, you know, a lot of times in some of the coaching things that we do, we kind of get lost in the what's, what's the narrow focus of what's right in front of us and not look at, at, at that, at that bigger picture as well. Chris Johnson [00:10:48]: Well, it happens a lot because we get tunnel vision and we have blinders on. And a lot of the time, unless we've, unless we've experienced something or unless we've known somebody that's experienced something, we, we really can't step outside of our realm of the known. We don't, we don't even know what that looks like out in the gray area we've never been in, but that's where we learn the most. And so stepping back, you know, and it's like this. A lot of people, they, they can't see the, the Forest for the trees. For the trees, yeah, because they're standing right in the forest and all they see is the trees. But if you come back across the open field, you can look and there's a forest over there. From a helicopter you can see the forest, but if you're in it, you just see trees. Tim Newman [00:11:48]: Exactly. Chris Johnson [00:11:50]: And so a lot of times that's what makes coaching so dynamic, and that's the coaching approach I bring to my clients when we coach all over the country is I'm not in the trees. Tim Newman [00:12:04]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:12:04]: So I have a total different perspective than they do. And that's why I have coaches in my life, because I need another perspective from what I see because I'm too close to mine and I need people to pull me out of my own way sometimes and help me see things clearer. So that's why I have four or five coaches, high level coaches in my life, leveling me to a level. And that's why I coach super high level people, to level them up. Tim Newman [00:12:32]: Right, right, right. And that kind of, you know, gets into the whole idea. You know, a lot of times people equate confidence with, with being loud and polished. Where do most people get the whole idea of confidence? Wrong. Chris Johnson [00:12:48]: So confidence is not built by standing in the mirror and giving yourself affirmations every morning. I know that sounds real cool on YouTube, but that's not going to give you confidence. It's going to help you say whatever you say better. I practice my speeches when I do my talks in my mirror because I want to see how my head looks, I want to see how my face looks. I want to know that that facial expression actually go with what I just said. But see, that's not building confidence. That's just building knowledge of how I look when I talk. Tim Newman [00:13:21]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:13:21]: Confidence. I just did a thing on this, so they put it on YouTube. Confidence is built by action. And see, if you're overconfident, you're going to take an action and fail and it's going to destroy you. If you're under confident, you won't ever take an action and that will destroy you as well. Yes. But if you're confident you can take an action, understanding you're going to fail, learn from it and then do it again, fail a little less, learn from it, do it again, and over time with reputate, with reput, repetition, until our reputation repetitions, you will gain an unbelievable amount of confidence because you've developed a cognitive repertoire of over and over and over, and now you understand how to do it without failing. That's how you build confidence, just doing it. Chris Johnson [00:14:32]: It's like public speaking. Tim Newman [00:14:34]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:14:35]: You cannot get good at that standing in front of a mirror. I don't care what nobody tells you. I don't. That's a lie. Because the first time you step on stage and you look out at 3,000 people, your stomach's going to go up into your neurological cortex and you're going to pass out. That's just reality. But if you've actually spoke in front of 100 people, 50 people, 20 people, over and over and over. When you stand now in front of 3,000, it's no different than 100, right. Chris Johnson [00:15:06]: You're just talking to the one person on the row. You can see. I can't even see the people in the back room. Tim Newman [00:15:11]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:15:11]: But I've developed confidence in being on stages because I know I'm talking to some person in that audience that's going to get help. And I'm not talking to 3,000 people. I'm picking one or two people in that audience and I'm able to convey my message to them. Tim Newman [00:15:30]: Yeah. Chris Johnson [00:15:31]: And that's all I'm doing. So 3,000 or 50,000, the number don't matter at this point because I've built the confidence to do it. Tim Newman [00:15:40]: So, Chris, let's break that down even a little bit further. You mentioned that you're talking to the people in the front row or the one person here. Part of that confidence is also being able to just have a regular conversation with somebody. It's being able to have that interpersonal interaction. You can't have horrible personal interactions and be good on stage. That doesn't help. There's no translation there at all. Chris Johnson [00:16:08]: No. Well, it's like this. So I've had several people tell me they can't make videos. My clients, man, I can't post videos like you, Chris. I can't throw it out on YouTube. I'm scared to death. That's what. Why are you scared? I mean, are you teeth bad? I mean, hey, these four right here's fake, baby. Tim Newman [00:16:27]: Stop, stop. You make. You make me laugh. I mean, your story, right? Chris Johnson [00:16:32]: Yeah. Like, these are fake, like, for real. And, like, drugs eat them up. And so this one is a little bit longer than this one because the dentist didn't make it quite right. So it looks retarded to me, but who cares? Just do it, man. You know, my hat may not be on straight. I may have a little shaggy beard this morning, but see, people look at all that and it derails them because they think they have to do it perfect. You don't have to be perfect. Chris Johnson [00:17:00]: If you actually make the video with the motivation of. I'm speaking to one person on YouTube, one person only. I'm not talking to 10,000. I'm speaking to Tim Newman on YouTube, and I'm giving information in a conversational way that's going to help him level up his life. See, if you take that. That fear and you bring it into. You're only talking to a person, and you're just having. And here's what I say. Chris Johnson [00:17:36]: Find a person in your mind that you would give your talk to or you would communicate to the truths you want to say. And when you talk to a crowd or a YouTube video camera, imagine yourself speaking directly to that person as if you're their friend and comrade, and you want to see them win. See it. Tim Newman [00:18:02]: That's it. You know, and again, Chris, you really nailed it. You know, it comes down to, you know, what are we here for, right? We're here to help others. We're here to pour value into others. We're here to, you know, help them become who. Who they should be. Right? And if it's really kind of selfish, I think, and. And it's taken me, trust me, it's taken me a long time to get to this point. Tim Newman [00:18:28]: And. And. And again, I don't know about you, but I still have that voice in my head that. That. That tells me, hold on, you're not quite ready, or, hold on, you. You don't do it yet. Don't do it yet. Don't do it yet. Tim Newman [00:18:39]: You got to get better at this. You got to get better at that. But, you know, to me, it's kind of selfish if we have something that. That we know that. That can help somebody else, and we hold that back and don't help them, Chris Johnson [00:18:50]: well, let it go. Tim Newman [00:18:51]: Let. Chris Johnson [00:18:52]: Let. Tim Newman [00:18:52]: Let it go. Chris Johnson [00:18:53]: Yeah, let it go. And. And here's what I tell people. And so you got to realize you're really a marketer that just does it in communication, right? You're. You're a marketing company that just happens to teach communication. I'm a marketing company that just happens to teach personality traits, human behavior, high level sales skills, leadership ability. And so what we're doing is, Tim Newman [00:19:19]: I Chris Johnson [00:19:20]: tell people all the time, if you've got something that somebody else needs and you're unwilling to give it because of fear, that is criminal negligence. That's what it is. Tim Newman [00:19:37]: Mm. Chris Johnson [00:19:38]: Solomon, if you look in the book of the Old Testament, in all the books with Solomon in it, where you know, David and Solomon all, and you know the whole story, right? If you look at Solomon's life, he literally, when the Queen of Sheba come over, you know, she said the half had not been told. Well, the Queen of Sheba is from the other side of the world. How did she hear about Solomon? But there was no Internet, there wasn't phones, there wasn't telegraphs. He was literally making. The Bible said he made 3,000 and we would equate to videos. And he give out knowledge and he actually charged people. If you look in the Bible now, he charged people, they brought him silver and gold and horses and stuff and, and paid him to sit beneath him to learn. Now if he took, you know, Solomon, wisest man on earth according to the Bible, he did not hoard that information up only for himself. Chris Johnson [00:20:49]: He give it out to the world, made a ton of money doing it and helped hundreds of thousands of people to the point a queen floated all the way across the world to come. Just sit at his feet and see what God's wisdom looks like up close, right? So think about that. If the wisest man on earth literally give his knowledge out to everybody, he could. I think that's the recipe. We give our knowledge out, right? And then people pay you for it. When they realize it's good, it's good. Tim Newman [00:21:25]: But. But it's also personal, right? And let's take this a step further. And because, you know, when we're looking at young people or early, early career professionals, right, they struggle so much in communication. And I don't know if you and I have had this conversation, but you know, to me, the Gen Z population, they're the smartest generation I've ever worked with. They're the most entrepreneurial generation I've ever worked with. But they're also the worst communicators, right? So why is it that they struggle so much in communication and interviews and networking events and team meetings and all these places where, you know, they're hired because of their knowledge, they're hired because of their skills, because they can do these things. But why do they struggle so much in communication when they're as smart as they are? Chris Johnson [00:22:26]: This will probably be controversial and it's okay. I like being controversial. Sometimes drives up ratings. Tim Newman [00:22:34]: I need ratings. Come on, guys need ratings. Chris Johnson [00:22:37]: They have been taught to be isolated. They have been taught to be un humanized. They have been taught to be 100% relatable and only functionable on a digital platform. That's why they can't have a conversation outside of an email or a text. They don't know what it's like to have human interaction. And literally. So the world system, I don't. This ain't a Bible class, but I mean, hey, we're going back to the Bible, so sorry, if you don't like the Bible, take it up with Tim. Tim Newman [00:23:23]: We'll talk about later. Chris Johnson [00:23:24]: Yeah, so. So God created humans for interaction. That's why he said Adam needed to help meet. That's why he sent the disciples out two by two, because you need human interaction. We are emotional beings that, that have to have emotional connection. We have to. I don't care what your personality type is. I don't care what you say. Chris Johnson [00:23:51]: Human interaction heals people faster than anything else. Think about a prisoner. They can only put a prisoner in a dark, solitary place for a limited time because it'll drive him insane. Tim Newman [00:24:08]: And I'm glad you brought that up because that's where I was going to go. That's why when, when they put somebody in solitary confinement, that's why it's a, it's a severe, severe punishment. And like you said, they can only put them there for a certain amount of time, right? Chris Johnson [00:24:21]: Yeah, go ahead. By law, this is a godless society that knows when you put a man or woman in solitary confinement, they will literally go insane. So they created laws to give them timelines where they can't exceed a certain amount of time. But we've created a generation. Covid helped really, really fuel this. You know, the project. Covid, Right. So. Chris Johnson [00:24:50]: So they literally created a situation called Covid that isolated human beings. I don't know that we've ever recovered from it. I know the younger generation didn't recover from it. They were already in the technological age and Covid pushed them even further into it. And so now to have human interaction and to actually have an in person interview, they don't know what that's like to look another human in the face and make eye contact and actually shake hands with, with intentionality and, and not be limp wristed and not be gentle, like be really firm in your handshake and be really connected in the eyes and sit with your knees facing the person you're talking to. And not to stand with your, not to sit with your arms crossed. You know, like they don't know any of these small little maneuvers they've never been taught. And so what you're doing is epic. Chris Johnson [00:25:49]: If people will watch these podcasts and actually pay attention and learn high level speaking and communication. Speaking is not just from stage. See you speak every day. We communicate every day. And some of the highest paid people, I just hit a thing I want to take. Okay. There's four levels of wealth. Okay. Chris Johnson [00:26:15]: I'm going to help. I'm going to help the younger generation here. Four levels of wealth. One is the implementation. So that's the people that dig the ditches, flip the hamburgers, wash the cars, do all the stuff. Tim Newman [00:26:26]: As you go through these four levels, I want people, I want us to say if we've been there, so. So that people understand that we're not. We didn't just wake up one day and start to become coaches. Right. And help people here. So. So in this first level, I've been there. Chris Johnson [00:26:42]: Yeah, me too. Tim Newman [00:26:43]: All right, go ahead. Chris Johnson [00:26:45]: All right, so the implementation level, they'll make anywhere from 30,000 a year, maybe up to maybe 50, 60,000 a year. Okay. Maybe 80 at a high level. Then you've got the next level of the managerial level. Okay. So at this level, you're going to make anywhere from 75, 80 grand up to maybe a couple hundred thousand, depending on your level of managerial skill. Maybe half a million. You know, if you're like a general manager of a company. Chris Johnson [00:27:17]: Right. All right. When you get to the third level, that's the communication level. When you make your money by moving your lips, you can go from a half a million a year to up to maybe 10 or 20 million a year at the top tier, just by talking. Okay. The fourth and highest level is imagination. This is where Elon Musk lives. This is where Donald Trump lives. Chris Johnson [00:27:53]: When you can imagine going to the moon and then communicate that, think about when we say Apple Phone, who do you. Who comes to mind? Tim Newman [00:28:06]: Steve Jobs. Chris Johnson [00:28:07]: Do you know Steve Jobs did not invent the Apple phone? Yes, but here's what he did. He communicated how it could benefit your life. Tim Newman [00:28:17]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:28:17]: So Steve Jobs is the only person you remember because he communicated to your emotion. And then we all have a bunch of iPhones. I don't know where mine is right now, but I have one somewhere. Oh, it's right here. So we all have an iPhone because Steve Jobs communicated to our emotional why the phone would change your life. But there was a bunch of people responsible for the imagination and the creation of the iPhone. Tim Newman [00:28:46]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:28:47]: And see, they're making money. Elon Musk, like him or not, don't really care. He's making trillions of dollars because he understands the law of imagination. Tim Newman [00:29:00]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:29:01]: Donald Trump imagines. So the higher you go on that tier, the more profit you can make for your Family and for all your, all the people, you're going to leave an inheritance to your legacy. So just think about that. What tier are you on right now and how can you level up, right? Tim Newman [00:29:26]: And Chris, you spent your, your entire life working as an entrepreneur. I mean, you, you started businesses and, and now, now doing what you do, you started a business to help other businesses become better, right? And one of the things about, and maybe it's always been this way, maybe it's just as I get older, I forget stuff. But one of the issues with today's younger generation is they want it today, right? They want instant success today. But if you had to give a 22 year old one communication rule to follow in every professional conversation, what would it be? Chris Johnson [00:30:10]: Huh? If I give a 22 year old one one piece of wisdom about communication, I would say study it, learn it, practice it, master it and change your life. Like that's just, it's real simple, honestly. Like there's no quick fix to it. There's no ABC formula. It's, it's. Make it a priority. Learn how to communicate at a super high level. Master that art, that one thing alone. Tim Newman [00:30:53]: Learn your trade. Chris Johnson [00:30:54]: That's cool. If you want to be a doctor, that's fine. Be the greatest doctor you can be. But have you ever had a doctor that had really sorry bedside manners? Tim Newman [00:31:04]: Mm. Oh yeah. Chris Johnson [00:31:06]: So would you rather go to a doctor that had really bad bedside manners and couldn't talk as well of a wet paper bag, but he knew how to do surgery good, or would you rather go to a doctor that knew how to do surgery good, but then also made you feel real good about it afterwards? Tim Newman [00:31:19]: Yes. Chris Johnson [00:31:20]: That's learn communication. And then literally the sky's the limit. There's no lid to what you can do if you can communicate at a high level. Tim Newman [00:31:35]: But I like what you said, it takes work, it takes practice. And, and, and again, this is for the audience here. I just to kind of give you an example of this. Last week I did a five minute presentation. It was just five minutes, Chris. Five minutes. And you, you understand how much work I put into a five minute presentation. But I probably practiced it for about 20 hours, probably. Tim Newman [00:31:59]: Right? And one of the things that I haven't had time to do it yet, but it's on my calendar to do this week is to pull that video and critique myself and say, okay, this was good. I need to work on this, I need to do better here. It takes work, it takes practice. It doesn't just happen overnight. And you know, I had A conversation yesterday with somebody as well, right before I talked to you, I said, you know, I've been doing, I've been talking as a profession for 30 years. And I would say I'm okay at it. I'm me when, when I stand and I talk to somebody, whether it's on stage, whether it's in front of a classroom, whether it's something like this, whether it's one on conversation, what you get, no matter what is you get somebody that's real. There's no fake there. Tim Newman [00:32:52]: And the reality is that takes work too, because we have to get rid of that inner dialogue, monologue, whatever it is that telling us we have to be somebody that we're not. It takes work and takes practice. Don't think it's going to happen today. And that's okay. Chris Johnson [00:33:13]: All good things come to them that wait. Like literally and, and, and nothing good comes in a microwave. Just saying, you don't. I know it's edible, I get it. But it ain't good, right? So think about your life and if you were, if you were to go from 80 pounds of literal physical weight and could bench press, you know, 40, 50 pounds and in literally two months, you could bench press 400 pounds. Let's just think about this. You would literally break all your bones in your shoulders, you would collapse your chest, you would, you would shatter your, your shoulder blades because even though your muscles were strong enough to hold up 400 pounds, your interior body was not. You're an 80 pound guy. Chris Johnson [00:34:14]: That can be expressed 400. Your interior, you could not handle the weight of it. Okay? Just like when somebody takes and they weigh 400 pounds and they get the stomach shrunk thing and then they lose £250 in six months. Right. I've seen people do this, like literally now their skin is hanging off. Why? Because they didn't shrink over time. They shrunk in a hurry. So in your life, it's, it is a race because you don't know when tomorrow. Chris Johnson [00:34:51]: You don't know when your next breath's going to run out. It is a race. It is. Be intentional, be diligent. But man, if you're 18, just plan your life. If you're 25, plan your life. If you're 35, plan your life. And if you don't have it today, it's okay. Chris Johnson [00:35:12]: Just keep working toward it. The Bible says the diligent shall prosper, so be diligent. That just means keep doing it until you prosper. Tim Newman [00:35:24]: Right? Right. You know, you said something in, in Our. One of our many talks about goals and, you know, how goals aren't meant to be hit, they're meant to transform you. Chris Johnson [00:35:42]: Yeah. Tim Newman [00:35:43]: And again, that was another thing that really kind of hit me as something to truly think about, you know? But how does that mindset change the way someone actually communicates? Chris Johnson [00:35:55]: Well, okay, so if you set a goal, all right, and you don't hit it, is that discouraging? Yes, it can be devastating, especially if it happens year over year over year. Tim Newman [00:36:08]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:36:08]: All right, what. What if you set a goal and you hit it? That's more discouraging Tim Newman [00:36:16]: because. Chris Johnson [00:36:17]: Because now, well, crap, I shot way too low, right? I did that one year in business. I had to redo my goal four times from September to December, and I kept hitting it. And finally in December, I made it astronomical where I couldn't hit it again. And I was like, dude, you've hit this stupid thing four times since September. Like, come on, man, set a real goal that you can't hit. And anyway, here's the. Here's the logic behind it. We're not. Chris Johnson [00:36:47]: We're not on a goal oriented life plan, because when you hit the goal, what's next? Another goal. Okay, you hit what's next? What's next? So what I try to teach people is a growth plan. You're growing every day. You're getting better every day. So if you don't have a goal oriented mind, but you have a growth oriented mind, you never hit the goal. Now set the goal. Okay? Don't get this twisted, okay? Set the goal. Set a goal, but make the goal so astronomical, there's no way on earth you can hit the goal. Chris Johnson [00:37:31]: The goal is not intended to be hit. It's intended to transform your journey so that you will go way further than you ever would have went without the goal. Tim Newman [00:37:46]: Right? Chris Johnson [00:37:47]: So when I set a seven figure year this year for this new endeavor I'm on, I don't know I'm gonna hit that. I'm aiming for it. I mean, I've got a plan for it. But if I don't hit it, I'm okay. Because if I land at 700 or 650, I'm okay. Because I have been transformed over 12 months to be a different version of myself than I am today. Because the man I am today can't do that number. I have to change. Chris Johnson [00:38:21]: I have to transform, I have to learn. I have to be stretched in order to get anywhere near that number, I have to change. The number is only there for me to create transformational journey that's it. And to grow every day. And the reality of it is, if I'm the same man tomorrow that I am today, that means tomorrow I'm a worse version of myself because I'm a day older and I'm not a bit better, right? Tim Newman [00:38:58]: I use a version of that line of that thinking, you know, like I said, if you're the same person today as you were yesterday, you're doing it wrong because you're not growing. You haven't learned anything yet. You haven't grown, you haven't transformed. And it's that, to me, it's that uncomfortableness, whatever the tension, whatever you want to call it, that you feel the frustration, that's the learning happening, that's the transformation actually happening. To go from point A to, to point B, to point C, to cross a bridge. However you want to look at it, it's okay to have that, that, that uncomfortable feeling, that tension. Chris Johnson [00:39:42]: Well, look at, look at this. So just today, like this is fresh out the oven. Just today I was watching a YouTube video and a man mentioned a thing called intelligence training. Tim Newman [00:40:00]: Okay? Chris Johnson [00:40:00]: I said, what is that? I never heard of that. Like, huh. Okay, let me stop. Back up, repeat. What'd you just say? Intelligence training. And a young lady asked a question. She said, I read a page of a book and I can't remember what it was. He said, you need intelligence training. Chris Johnson [00:40:22]: He said, your brain is a muscle and you need to exercise your muscle. I said, okay, I get that I can get older. So I said, well, let me try. It said, pull 15 words, random words. So I went in chat GPT and put in, hey, give me 15 random words for an intelligence training exercise. It did it. I did the exercise out of 15 words. I could only remember five of them. Chris Johnson [00:40:50]: I said, man, that seems horrible. And so now I have been exposed to the fact that my brain has become lazy because it's not memorizing. Because we got everybody's number in our phone, we got chat GPT helping us with stuff, we got things on speed dial, we got things on auto repeat we don't have to think about. So my brain has become lazy. I literally just learned that today, as smart as I think I am, my brain has taken a vacation, right? So now I'm on a 30 day challenge to do intensive intelligence training to bring my cognitive memory back to where it should be, to memorize stuff, to be able to recall in an instant things, because I'm not where I should be. I was made aware of that today. And so I have to Change, you Tim Newman [00:41:53]: know, that makes me think, you know, and you, you were in the room. Well, at least I believe you were in the room when, when I heard this. John Maxwell, 78 years old, and he's in the process. It's. He's writing three books at the same time, Chris. He's writing three books at the same time, let alone what he's reading, let alone all these other things. He knows more about AI at 78 years old than most people do because of what he does, because of his discipline in continuous improvement. And it blows me away because along the same lines as you, continuous improvement, learning something, getting better, you know, learning things that we don't even know about. Tim Newman [00:42:43]: You know, I'm not talking about learning our craft because that's, that's a, that to me, that's a given, but learning something new outside of what you would normally do. This man, 70 years old, right, he's writing three books and knows more about AI than most people. That to me is the, is the, is what we should be looking at. You know, that's, that's the, the key. And I, I think if that's, if, if we could back up my last semester teaching, I had a student who did a. He's a fairly good speaker, you know, for, for being 21 years old. And after class one day, I said, you know, can I give you a piece of advice that's going to make you just a little bit better? He said, no, Doc, I'm good. I said, well, this isn't something you're going to have to put a whole lot of time or effort into. Tim Newman [00:43:35]: I said, it's something easy to change. He said, doc, I'm good. I don't need to get any better. And that's the mindset that I think really we have to change or transform because again, when you look at it from, from our perspective, there's. We've, we've got to, to be able to bridge that communication gap so that they, the younger generation understands that they've got to get better. We have to understand that we have to, to learn how to communicate with them and find a true way forward as we, as we move forward in, in communication skills. Chris Johnson [00:44:16]: I agree wholeheartedly. We gotta change. We just got to change. Tim Newman [00:44:21]: What does speaking with confidence actually mean to you, but beyond the words? As we wrap this up, it's your Chris Johnson [00:44:29]: posture, your mannerisms, it's, it's how you speak with clarity. It actually is. It's the words you don't say because you don't have to Say everything, which I've learned over a year of training, everything in. In a story is not relevant. Everything that you think people need to know, they really don't need to know it. And the. The more confident you get, the more deliberate the words are and the more deliberate you leave words out. So speaking with clarity is a lot more than just. Chris Johnson [00:45:15]: Or with confidence is a lot more than speaking. It's mannerisms, it's mindset, it's tonality, it's the cadence in which you say the words. And the words are very, very minimal to the actual message. Tim Newman [00:45:32]: Right. Chris Johnson [00:45:33]: Everything else compiled really outweigh the words by like 70 to 30. Because if you're saying words and you don't believe the words you're saying, your body will tell the audience that you're lying. Tim Newman [00:45:53]: That's a really good point. Chris Johnson [00:45:55]: Your face will tell the audience you don't believe. So confidence is when the words match everything around them, and it all makes a really beautiful cake. And you can serve that to people and they can eat it and enjoy it. That's when you have true confidence. Tim Newman [00:46:18]: You're absolutely right. I love that line. Your body language is going to. It's going to tell you, prove you right. It's going to prove you wrong, you know, and that's the bottom line. Chris, that's. That's awesome. Where can people connect with you? Chris Johnson [00:46:38]: So I'm on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube channel. You can look up Chris Johnson. There's a ton of Chris Johnson. So maybe a season. Tim Newman [00:46:48]: You're not the only Chris Johnson in the world. Chris Johnson [00:46:49]: Huh? Tim Newman [00:46:50]: You're not the only Chris Johnson in the world. Chris Johnson [00:46:52]: Lord, no, no. God, there's a ton of them. So Chris Johnson Leadership services is one of the best ways to find me because that's the only one of those there are. And so listen, I. I do business coaching, training, speaking. I'd love to help serve you in any way I can. I know Tim does it as well. So look us up, find us like us. Chris Johnson [00:47:16]: Subscribe to our channel. Ring the little notification bell on YouTube. Hey, man, that helps so much. Comment on my stuff. And I will comment back. And thank you, Tim, for this opportunity. I really appreciate it, man. Tim Newman [00:47:28]: No worries. And I'll put those links in the show notes. But before we go, I do want to let people know they got to go to your YouTube channel because you're doing some really good work there. I've seen some of your stuff. You taught me some things the other day, and I appreciate that. But check Chris out. He's got a ton of information that can help you. And Chris, I can't thank you enough for spending some time with the Speaking With Confidence community. Tim Newman [00:47:57]: Can't thank you enough for your friendship and leadership and mentorship, and I'll talk to you soon. Chris Johnson [00:48:02]: Thank you, buddy. Tim Newman [00:48:04]: Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Formula for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time. Time. Take care. Chris Johnson [00:48:20]: See you.
Tim Newman [00:00:00]:
Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor during communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. Today’s guest is Danielle Droitsch. She’s an executive and leadership coach, empowering high achieving professionals to discover their superpowers, love their work, lead confidently, and achieve the well being they deserve. She believes it’s possible to love your career, yet many remain disengaged. Nine years ago, as a senior leader at a nonprofit, Danielle experienced burnout.
Tim Newman [00:00:53]:
Overcoming this transformed her approach to work. Since then, she has helped hundreds regain confidence in their careers. Often misled by myths about career success, her mission is to help people uncover their secret sauce to feeling successful and energized at work. Danielle develops strategic plans with clients to transform careers into fulfilling, purposeful experiences while prioritizing well being. Danielle, welcome to the show. I’m really excited for this conversation with you today.
Danielle Droitsch [00:01:22]:
Me too, Tim. Thank you so much for having me.
Tim Newman [00:01:24]:
Oh, no worries. You know, we have a, a lot in common. A lot in common. You know, we, we were both in our careers for, for a long time and you know, at some point we both felt just completely unfulfilled professionally. What was that like for you and how did you, how do you figure it out to get where you are today?
Danielle Droitsch [00:01:47]:
Yeah, so it’s really a good question to ask, like, what was I feeling? Because it was now almost a decade ago. I mean, it was going on for a couple years. I mean, I finally pulled the trigger and did some things 10 years ago. It probably started 15 years ago. And I found myself constantly looking for like, what should I be doing? Like, it was more just I was in a search zone and I was going to work every day. But I, and, and it wasn’t that my. Had a terrible job. In fact, I mean, the job was just fine.
Danielle Droitsch [00:02:25]:
It was, I was feeling something was missing. That’s the best way to describe it. Something was missing for me and I didn’t know what it was. I just knew that sometimes I was really bored at work. Sometimes I got really irritable with the very, very small things. I was feeling impatient. There’s just all these little sort of emotional indicators. But I kept thinking, well, maybe I just should make a change, some sort of career change.
Danielle Droitsch [00:02:56]:
Which ultimately I did. But I had no idea what that change should be. So I just Kept researching and researching, kind of going down endless Google search paths. And eventually I figured it out, but that’s kind of how I was feeling for a couple years, at least.
Tim Newman [00:03:15]:
Yeah, there’s so many common themes there. And I felt really kind of the same ways. And my wife kept saying, well, what is it that you want to do? What is it that you want to do? And, well, I don’t know, because our lives get so wrapped up in. In our jobs, and that becomes who we are, and that’s really. And the reality is that’s not who we are, it’s what we do.
Danielle Droitsch [00:03:37]:
Yes. Oh, you just said the right thing. Yes.
Tim Newman [00:03:40]:
We spent so much time there, we. And it was like, you know, for me, she kept saying, what do you want to do? What do you want to do? I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. And, you know, I tried a lot of things, and I got a lot of new hobbies, a lot of things that I really enjoy now. Doing podcasting is actually one of them. And obviously that’s become part of. Part of my new career.
Tim Newman [00:04:01]:
But finding that thing that really inspired me to get back to what it was when I first started my career. It wasn’t easy, and it did take. It took me about five years.
Danielle Droitsch [00:04:16]:
For whatever reason, you’re not alone. It takes when people start to feel something’s missing or something’s not right or, you know, there’s lots of different ways, a lot of different words or phrases people use, but. And sometimes we start with focusing on the. Like, it’s my boss, it’s my job, you know, like. Like, we externalize it. But then you kind of eventually figure out, wait, I kind of fixed that thing, and it still didn’t get better, whatever it is. So you start to realize that it’s something about you. It’s nothing wrong with you, but it’s simply.
Danielle Droitsch [00:04:51]:
It’s within you. The answer is within you. And hearing you talk a little bit about your Tim makes me realize, you know, at the end of the day, it. Sure. What we do every day does matter. I mean, that’s kind of what our lives are. But it’s not who you are. Your job is not who you are.
Danielle Droitsch [00:05:11]:
So it really begins with this question. Who are you? Who are you? Yeah. And that’s a tough question.
Tim Newman [00:05:18]:
It is. And as we get into this, I really kind of hope that, you know, we can help, you know, the younger generations figure this out a lot sooner. Not that we didn’t have it figured out, but it took so long for us to make that change or make that adjustment. And not that we should make snap decisions, but you know, five years is a long time to be unhappy.
Danielle Droitsch [00:05:41]:
Yeah.
Tim Newman [00:05:42]:
Or to be unfulfilled, especially when we’re doing. When this part of our life takes up so much of our life, you know.
Danielle Droitsch [00:05:48]:
Yeah.
Tim Newman [00:05:50]:
You know, in our pre call, you know, you told me the story about how the first time that you said that you, somebody told you that somebody else told you that you were extraordinary at something. And to me that was such a powerful story. Can you share that? Because I think, I think that’s really the essence of what I think our listeners really need to hear.
Danielle Droitsch [00:06:10]:
Yeah. I’m not sure what my story was. Maybe give me a.
Tim Newman [00:06:13]:
It was, you know, you were, you were good at being a lawyer. You were good at doing your, your, your previous career, previous profession, but nobody ever told you you were extraordinary until you became.
Danielle Droitsch [00:06:27]:
Yes, yes, yes, yes. So, yeah, so I’ve been trained as an environmental lawyer. So, you know, working on the protection of environment and have been doing that in the policy space and the legal space for many decades. And I’d always had looked at myself as good at it, you know, maybe really good. But you know, the accolades I didn’t really get sort of, wow, you’re amazing at this. Like, never heard that. But I did get sort of, you know, I kept getting promotions and I kept getting, you know, there would be other accolades, other measures of success, like I might get published somewhere, invited to a conference. So that’s sort of how I was sort of rolling for a really long time.
Danielle Droitsch [00:07:12]:
But I never heard these words. And then, you know, fast forward through my entire transition and I became, you know, executive coach and where I’m coaching leaders and professionals to sort of help them be successful in their roles. And that’s in a one to one setting. It’s not in front of a whole bunch of people. It’s just really asking powerful questions and helping people sort of discover for themselves what, what the answer is for them. And I had done my training, but I was receiving from my clients these reactions of just like, you know, effusive, like, wow, you’re so good at what you do. And they were being, they were, you know, through a coaching session would have these like big, you know, aha’s. And you know, I can’t believe I figured this out and thank you so much for your help and.
Danielle Droitsch [00:08:06]:
But I was getting those again and again and I was like, I really never got that feedback as a lawyer. You know, maybe I’d get a pat on the back or good job on that presentation, but never this sort of. So it kind of made me realize that like, you know, it took me a little while to kind of figure this all out, that I had been doing what I was good at, but not where I was strong. And that’s a big thing I do with my own clients today, is helping people figure out where they’re strong. Which is, goes back to that question you and I just talked about. Like, who are you? For me, who I am is, it’s not. I’m a coach. I mean, yes, I do coach.
Danielle Droitsch [00:08:47]:
Coaching is part of what I do. You’re a podcaster, you know, it’s part of what you do. But who I am is someone who helps other people reach their full potential. I help them become like the strongest possible humans and do gooders and high impact people that they can be. And coaching is a means to get to doing that. But I did not identify myself as someone who helps someone else reach their full potential until really in the last 10 years of my career. And I would never have told you that that’s what I was going to do with my career.
Tim Newman [00:09:22]:
Right. And it’s, it’s my guess is that that’s who you are outside of coaching. You help people. You help people in whatever aspect or situation that you’re in. That’s, that’s what you do. Because that’s, that’s kind of what what coaching is. It’s kind of what we do all the time anyway in this profession. I think in education, being college professor or what have you, that’s what we do is we help people.
Tim Newman [00:09:51]:
And if, if we could, if we could figure out how to get younger professionals, the younger generation to figure out who they are and what about them makes them, what is their special sauce, what is their superpower? Early yes. How much better would their, would their life be both personally and professionally?
Danielle Droitsch [00:10:14]:
Oh, you just, yeah, just. Such an important question today. You know, today, April 30th, when we actually are recording this, a major study came out from the Gallup Corporation. But also it’s not really from the, it’s from a whole bunch of universities together, but it was on. It’s one of the largest studies on human flourishing. This idea of flourishing. Flourishing isn’t the same thing as happiness. It’s flourishing.
Danielle Droitsch [00:10:39]:
Flourishing is really the aspect of doing well in multiple areas of your life. And the study came out and one of the more interesting findings from the study is that young people age 18 to 29 are sinking in terms of human flourishing, it’s a sort of a new aspect of the study. And there’s of course, lots of theories about why that is. But our young people, you know, typically when you’re young, I mean the old studies or the prior studies, the young people were high, you know, they were flourishing. And then there’d be a sink in their 20s and 30s and maybe 40s, and then it would go back up in your 50s. And this is just a typical sort of you.
Tim Newman [00:11:26]:
Right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:11:27]:
But unfortunately what they’re seeing is that that’s actually dissipating to an extent. And so young people, when they should be flourishing, are not flourishing.
Tim Newman [00:11:39]:
That’s really interesting because I didn’t expect that at all. Especially when we look at well being. That’s really what you do is well being of the whole person. Up until about maybe five or ten years ago, well being just really meant our physical well being. Yes. Now, you know, it’s, it’s really kind of expanded into our emotional and, and mental well being, which I think is, is great and long overdue. And I think we need more resources and, and, and help in, in that area. But when you look at it from what you just said, these, the, the younger generation, they have so much more than, than we ever unhappy or unfulfilled.
Tim Newman [00:12:28]:
That to me is just, it’s like a gut punch. Because, because, I mean, when you, when you describe that, you know, to me, it’s, it’s a normal life cycle, right? You, you’re young, you have a good time, you, you, you get into your career, you get married, you have kids, and, and life becomes life, right?
Danielle Droitsch [00:12:45]:
Yeah.
Tim Newman [00:12:46]:
And then your kids figure it out a bit, your kids get older and then, you know, you’re, you’re on to the, to the second or third phase of your life. That’s just kind of what happens. What are your thoughts on that? I mean.
Danielle Droitsch [00:13:00]:
Well, let’s, let’s. I mean, let’s start with what well being is. And you, you were hitting on elements that it, the, the well being is sort of a multifaceted picture. And so it’s important to kind of really ground ourselves. Well, being is at its core and I feeling well in your life, it’s a little different than happiness, although connected. So feeling well in multiple areas of your life. So what does that look like? It is feeling well in your relationships, it is feeling well in your work, it is feeling well in your financial state, is feeling well physically. It is feeling well mentally.
Danielle Droitsch [00:13:41]:
It is feeling well in terms of your connection to Your community. So, so you can almost imagine a whole bunch of spokes around a wheel. And you don’t have to necessarily be feeling well in all aspects, but you need to be feeling well in multiple aspects. So we are often putting a lot of energy and attention into career. I work with career stuff all the time. But I always caution my clients, yes, it’s great to feel well at work. We want to, we spend a lot of time there. But if you’re just focused on that to the detriment of everything else, then you are probably not going to have a high level of well being because you have ignored the other pieces.
Danielle Droitsch [00:14:23]:
So we want to do is we want to think, okay, how is my mental well being? How is my relationships? Like my friendships, my family connections? What about my community? Am I connected to my community? Am I feeling well in that space? What about my finances? Like, do I feel well there? And we go through that process of understanding and, you know, and then we sort of, you know, start to reflect. Oh, okay, maybe I need to focus on a couple of areas and bring those up. And when you bring up, like, let’s say you are feeling well in two areas, but you’re not feeling well in four areas and you focus on those two of those other four areas, you can actually bring your overall well being up substantially because you are like looking at multiple spokes. So it’s not really about getting one of the spokes really strong. It’s about trying to get as many, but maybe not all, but as many spokes on that wheel, you know, to be strong. But the problem is, is that I wonder if we are, you know, encouraging our kids to focus a little bit too much in one area. For example, there is a lot of pressure on kids with respect to grades and, you know, their scores. And there’s a lot of pressure on kids, young people in particular, on the career.
Danielle Droitsch [00:15:51]:
And you know, I get it, like, it’s not, I don’t think it’s as easy for younger people to find work today as it was when I, you know, this is 30 some years ago that I was looking for my first job. But that said, you know, housing prices have gone up. There’s lots of different factors that are driving this. You know, it’s really hard to just, you know, pay your rent. And yet this very, very serious focus on career and good jobs and well paying jobs I think has taken away from the other spokes on the wheel. Another factor is being disconnected because, you know, we are so connected to phones and our, you know, we are we do connect. I mean, people are connected. But, you know, the well being, scientists would say sitting on your phone and connecting with someone on a phone through maybe chatting, the texting or whatever is not the same connection as sitting down and having, you know, going for a walk or sitting down and having a coffee.
Danielle Droitsch [00:16:58]:
And so we’ve become this very virtual society. And of course, Covid didn’t make it any easier. But if we take the time to step back and look at those different areas and nurture those, and I’m talking to young people, but I’m talking to everyone here, then this feeling, this feeling of like being disconnected and happy or not flourishing or whatever it may be, you actually have a pretty, pretty strong impact or influence on your overall well being, more so than you know. But it is about sort of pushing the lever and actually taking action in those spaces. And it may not look like how you’ve been living your life. So that’s a little bit of the introduction to what it means to invest in human flourishing.
Tim Newman [00:17:45]:
Yeah, it’s. You talk about connection. It’s funny that we’re disconnected even though we are so connected. Yes, I know, it’s like an oxymoron. I read a study recently for a podcast that I’m getting ready to do about the chemicals that are released in our brain working. When we, when we get a text message, where we get that bing or whatever it is, when. What happens when you’re talking to somebody and their phone goes off and they stop listening and they focus on the phone and what they’re saying is that that has kind of changed our chemistry. The, the chemical that’s released in our brains, when that happens, it’s the same chemical as feeling pain.
Danielle Droitsch [00:18:46]:
Feeling pain?
Tim Newman [00:18:47]:
Yeah, feeling pain. So like, if I’m talking, if you’re talking to me and I all of a sudden get a text message and I stop and I look, stop listening and look at that. You get the chemical reaction of pain.
Danielle Droitsch [00:19:01]:
Oh, and then you might get that little.
Tim Newman [00:19:04]:
And I get. And I get. Yeah, exactly. And it’s, it’s, it’s funny how that works and how, how it’s actually come to that, you know. You know, when we grew up, if we didn’t pay attention to somebody listening, that was considered rude.
Danielle Droitsch [00:19:22]:
Rude.
Tim Newman [00:19:23]:
And now it’s just accepted and we just move on. And you know, I think when, when you look at well being and you look at health, how this, how this really wraps into the idea of confidence and powerful communication. How can we have confidence if we don’t have some of those other things. If we’re only feeling good in maybe one or two areas, how can we have confidence to be able to go out and communicate? If we’re so worried about our finances, if we’re so worried about our careers, if we’re so worried about other things, we’re so. We can’t actually even open ourselves up to having good interactions and communication.
Danielle Droitsch [00:20:05]:
Yeah, yeah. So many. I mean, so much rich material and everything you just said. I mean, I would just gonna start with the human connection piece and in fact, some of the researchers who are analyzing this study’s output from revealing the. That young people are not flourishing in the way they have in the past theorized that it was because while we’re connected more than ever, we’re really disconnected. And so if there’s one thing that we could do to start to flourish more as human beings. And yes, I agree, Tim, it is connected to confidence. And I’ll get to that.
Danielle Droitsch [00:20:49]:
It would be to. To turn off the phone, put the phone away, and spend time with other human beings that you love and you admire and you care about. I’m not talking about any human being. Pick the people you want to be with and spend real time with them away from the phone. I just got back. I’m based in Utah, in Salt Lake City. But our family spends a lot of time in southern Utah exploring the amazing desert forest landscapes. Beautiful.
Danielle Droitsch [00:21:25]:
And we had four days and three nights in a very remote part of southern Utah that a lot of people don’t hit. But it’s called Capitol Reef National Park. It’s one of the parks. And we just got a cabin. And it was just me and my husband and my daughter. And I did turn off my phone and my computer and just. We went hiking every day and just found little things to do. And it was unbelievable what that three days or that four days and three nights did for my.
Danielle Droitsch [00:21:56]:
For my psyche, for my mental wellness, for my health and for my family and for my connection. I obviously can’t do that all the time, but I just hit me how crucial it is that I get off my phone, I get off my computer, get off my email, and be present with my family. And this is true for just about anyone else. And I would say that if we were to do more of that, your wellbeing will go up in a way that you couldn’t possibly predict. It’s not the only thing you can do, but it’s probably a game changer when it comes to someone who feels like they’re not flourishing in Life.
Tim Newman [00:22:39]:
You’re absolutely right. How was your daughter with turning the phone off?
Danielle Droitsch [00:22:43]:
Well, we have this sort of rule that’s off. I mean, it’s off. I mean, well, you know, we didn’t. In the evenings, we let her have a little bit in the. In the evenings at the hotel room. But when we’re out in the environment, when we’re hiking, that’s. It’s. You know, it’s a.
Danielle Droitsch [00:23:01]:
It’s a. It’s a rule. And she understands that. And the interesting thing, and this is probably true for many people, initially, you might feel a little uncomfortable, right? You’re like, ooh, I don’t know. Can I really step away? But then I watched this transformation where she basically starts to embrace the outdoors. She starts to discover things. And I see the kid that, you know, truly is what a real kid does is like, discover the environment. But it’s true for all of us.
Danielle Droitsch [00:23:29]:
It doesn’t have to be just kids. You know, I know we live in a society now where kids and all of us are connected. I mean, there are some people have chosen not to be, but I’d say the vast majority, kids included, have iPads and phones and so on and so forth. But if we can learn how to unplug and connect with other people or even connect with something we love to do, like read a book or do a hike, it doesn’t always have to be with other people, but it’s really about getting back to your sort of core self, like what actually you enjoy. You start to actually come home. You’re like, coming home to who you are as a person, and then other things start to open up. Because if you are, I’m not saying you’re going to hit the peak of flourishing, but let’s say you move your flourishing from, you know, a five to a seven or an eight, let’s say I’m just giving a ranking. Guess what happens.
Danielle Droitsch [00:24:24]:
You start to feel better, and you start to show up more as your authentic self, and you are seen as more confident. You feel more confident because you are taking action to actually invest in yourselves. And I think right now, just in general, there’s just a lot of people chasing after whatever they’re chasing after. Yeah, they’re just chasing. And they haven’t stopped to just take a breath and say, who am I? And who you are is you without a phone. First and foremost, it’s you without technology. And so. And the big thing I’ve learned about parenting, but also coaching, is that every single person’s different.
Danielle Droitsch [00:25:06]:
So just because when I go into, you know, the desert of Southern Utah and go hiking, I feel like myself, that may not be someone else. Someone else. It might be going to a play in New York City. For someone else, it is sitting on a beach with a book. For someone else, it’s, you know, maybe even, you know, going to a conference and meeting a whole bunch of people. And this is where it is about, like, really trying to figure out who you are. The only real question you need to know is, what makes me feel energized?
Tim Newman [00:25:37]:
Right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:25:38]:
What brings me energy? Because that’s really the clue to your superpowers. But first, you have to get off your phone. You have to stop chasing after, you know, whatever you’re chasing after and just give yourself some space and growth to, like, reconnect. And I’ll tell you, and I’ll shut up here in a second, but when I was going through my, like, crisis of who I am, I spent a lot of time going out there and volunteering and helping, and I was just really in a frenzied, oh, my gosh, I need to reassess everything. But it wasn’t until I got became really quiet with myself and became sort of stopped working so hard that I was able to discover the coaching. So sometimes you have to relax and you have to kind of, like, calm down, rest a little bit, and what is meant for you will come your way. But we probably have to have a deliberate plan to bring things down a few notches in order to allow that next chapter to open up for us.
Tim Newman [00:26:40]:
Yeah, but I think that’s so true, really, in a lot of the big decisions and major things that go on in life, whether it’s searching for a job, whether it’s trying to find a college, whether it’s trying to find a significant other, if you stop forcing those things and start being you. And like you said, take that step back and just let things kind of happen and play out intentionally. Right. I’m not saying just sit around, do nothing, but do things intentionally. That’s when things start coming to you.
Danielle Droitsch [00:27:14]:
Yeah.
Tim Newman [00:27:16]:
My youngest daughter just changed jobs about two months ago, and she was looking for, like, six months. I said, it’ll happen. And once it happens, what you’re going to find is you’re going to get two or three offers, like, in succession. And she mumbled, you don’t know. I said, okay, but that’s what happened. She ended up getting three offers within a week, and it was like, wow, now she has choices. You don’t have to take the first job, you don’t have to. It’s all for just because you don’t like the other one.
Tim Newman [00:27:48]:
You know, you can sit back and relax and truly think about it and do what’s best for you and your family.
Danielle Droitsch [00:27:57]:
Yeah. It’s such a good example, though, what happened to your daughter. Because I’ve seen it with clients even, and whether it’s looking for a job or I need to figure out what comes next, or I feel lost and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life, you know, whatever it is, when you’re in that space of chasing after something, or you feel scarcity or you feel worried, or you’re just, you’re not in a good space, you’re not in a good headspace over the thing that you’re going for. It’s almost the worst thing to do, to keep chasing. And that’s what happened with me. Like, I spent all my time, like I was in a bit of a crap crisis of confidence over who I was, but I had no idea what I was going to do next. And, you know, I, I did a lot of things looking, I, I, I definitely agree with you when you said, don’t just sit back and do nothing, because that doesn’t do anything.
Tim Newman [00:28:47]:
Right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:28:47]:
You need to act. But, but in terms of your mental capacity, it’s not about chasing after something. It’s really about relaxing into believing and trusting that it will come your way, but you need to be intentional. And so, you know, when I became intentional and thoughtful and relaxed and sort of stepped back, then, you know, eventually what happened was the coaching program came across my desk and I looked at it and I said, I don’t know why, but I think there’s something about this coaching program that’s for me. And I was just listening to my sort of inner voice saying, maybe you should sign up or, let’s take a look at this course. Course. And I’ve had other clients do this to me too. Like, where they’re like, this thing came across my plate and I’m really curious about it.
Danielle Droitsch [00:29:34]:
Like, maybe I should look at it. And I always say, yes, if your curiosity is piqued. Curiosity is often your intuition speaking to you. Not always, but many times it’s your intuition saying, this is something to follow. And then you just, without worrying, without grasping, without, you know, chasing, you open, you explore it, and the next thing you know, you might have three job offers. But, you know, it’s, it’s a little bit of an energy shift that’s sort of a Pre. A prerequisite to kind of figure. It really is a prerequisite to confidence.
Danielle Droitsch [00:30:11]:
Because confidence doesn’t come from chasing and scarcity and any of that. It really, I mean, I was at the top of my career when I went into this sort of crisis that I am mentioning. I had no confidence at that point. I had no confidence. And it wasn’t going to just be created from working even harder at the current job. I had. The confidence came from aligning myself with more of who I was. And that turned out to be someone who helps other people reach their full potential.
Danielle Droitsch [00:30:46]:
Now I feel so confident in that space. And so I sort of aligned myself and my daily. My work, my life, my purpose, my, even my spirituality is all connected back to this idea of helping other people reach their full potential. And coaching is one way I do that.
Tim Newman [00:31:08]:
And I think it’s also important for people to understand that that can also change throughout our life too. Our core values don’t really change. Yeah, who we are doesn’t change. But how that comes across and how that’s expressed and how that actually plays out in relationships and work product and those other types of things that go on in life can and do change.
Danielle Droitsch [00:31:37]:
And probably should change.
Tim Newman [00:31:39]:
You’re right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:31:39]:
I mean, if you’re doing the same thing over and over and over again year after year, it probably gets boring after a while. Now maybe you change it up in a different way, but even my father, who was a federal government employee for 35 years, you know, my parents, it was staying the same job forever, ever and ever. That’s not the way it is now, but it was for our, you know, grandparents, my parents and grandparents and so on. But he was always changing things up all the time within his job. He’d find new projects and more new things. And the reason is because you can’t do the same thing over and over again. Our brains aren’t even built for it necessarily. So we, we.
Danielle Droitsch [00:32:19]:
So it can be a job change. It can be how you deploy. I work with a lot of mid to senior level professionals who are sort of hit that wall, the same wall I hit.
Tim Newman [00:32:29]:
Right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:32:29]:
And they are all playing with things. Like, they’re not so much playing with, like, what should my career trajectory be like? I mean, they are wondering about their careers, but they’re thinking more about purpose and impact. They’re like, where can I make the best impact in the world? And so sometimes it’s speaking, sometimes it’s podcasting, sometimes it’s blogging, sometimes it’s a career shift. But they’re really interested in, like, how do I leave a legacy that I can feel really proud of? And I’m not saying the young people need to worry about that now, but you can begin the journey by asking, who am I? And where can I really best create the best results? And the reason we want to care about that, even when you’re starting your career, is that people notice you. They feel that impact from you. You get your confidence from. I mean, I could go on and on from, not from your skill set, but from, from the, you know, sort of this idea of superpowers, like people. That’s what, that’s where you start to feel really energized, is how you deploy your skills and the impact you leave.
Danielle Droitsch [00:33:39]:
If that makes any sense.
Tim Newman [00:33:41]:
Yeah, it makes, it makes a ton of sense. I call it your innards. I mean, it’s your innards. It’s, it’s, it’s you. You could. You actually feel it inside of you. I mean, you. At least I do.
Tim Newman [00:33:51]:
I mean, you, you feel what you, you feel that confidence, you feel that strength. You, you feel that, that, that passion, that emotion. And then it comes out in, in the way that you want it to, as opposed to not feeling it. And, and it comes out as, as anger, as frustration, as disappointment or whatever that is.
Danielle Droitsch [00:34:15]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And figuring out this idea of who you are is really a tricky business because, you know, we are from the very young age. You know, we go to school, we learn skills, skills, we learn knowledge, and then we go to college maybe, and we’re doing the same thing. And so it’s all about acquisition from outside yourself, like, what can this professor teach me? What can this program teach me? And we get very focused on that. And I’m not saying it doesn’t matter, because I read job descriptions every day and I know what the job market’s looking for. And they want people who know Microsoft Excel and they want people who have certain capabilities. But the deployment of having knowledge and skill is not really the secret sauce of confidence and strengths. It’s really found in how you deploy a skill, how you show up in the workplace.
Danielle Droitsch [00:35:14]:
So you may have the knowledge of, let’s say, project management, you may be a project manager, and you’re really good at organizing information and data and sequencing and timelines, and you’ve been trained, and so you know all this stuff. But the secret sauce is probably found in your unique talent that comes to it. And so for one person, it might be, you’re a really great problem solver as you’re pursuing a project management plan, or it might be you’re extremely good at figuring out who should be doing what, because you’re good at sort of figuring out how talent should be allocated. Or you’re just really good at communicating. You’re so good at keeping everybody informed about what the project is, why it’s why it matters, and why everybody should stick to their timelines. And you’re pretty good at managing people who don’t want to be managed. So those are all these what we call soft skills that get deployed as you’re deployed. The skill of project management is still there, sort of maybe your core foundation.
Danielle Droitsch [00:36:22]:
But the stuff people notice is not in that skill deployment. It’s found in these really special ways that you show up in terms of how you deploy it. That’s really the secret sauce. So if you’re just like a robot mechanically deploying a skill, people probably won’t notice you, and you probably won’t feel that confident in yourself. But if you start to notice, oh, you know, I’m pretty good at actually bringing a team together and making them feel great about, you know, their progress, then pay attention to that.
Tim Newman [00:36:53]:
Right?
Danielle Droitsch [00:36:54]:
That is really the stuff that. That a where you feel strong. But guess what? It’s what you can lean into to build confidence in how you show up in the workplace. The problem is we often don’t pay any attention to these things. We call them soft skills and we think they’re unimportant. But once you pay attention to them, I promise you, that’s where your confidence starts to grow.
Tim Newman [00:37:16]:
You’re exactly right. And getting back to what you said earlier, from the education system perspective, so much focus is on grades and test scores, and we never, ever truly talk about soft skills, which to me is obviously, this is what we do. That’s where we’re failing our students and our young people. And maybe that’s why they’re scoring so low on that study you referenced. Because if you can’t communicate your thoughts and your feelings and your knowledge, it doesn’t matter what you think, feel, or know.
Danielle Droitsch [00:38:01]:
Yeah, yeah, I agree. We’ve done a disservice. I mean, certainly you see Gallup and the strength finder assessments, and you start to see them in certain companies or in certain universities. But we are mostly sending kids out there thinking that all that really matters are your skills and knowledge and probably the hard skills. You know, we’re really kind of focused on that, and that’s perhaps driven by economic needs, you know, cost of housing. We need to have I need to make this much money to pay my massive college bills back. Like, I’m aware that, you know, there’s a dynamic there, Right. That has kids feeling a certain pressure.
Danielle Droitsch [00:38:41]:
And I get it, and I’m, I’m not trying to discount it. And yet, sure, they might make a lot of money and pay back their college, you know, loans and buy the condo and they have all that, but guess what? They may not feel happy. Right.
Tim Newman [00:38:59]:
Right.
Danielle Droitsch [00:39:00]:
So, you know, maybe. And that. And that’s when people come my way. They’re like, yeah, I have all the stuff. Stuff. Like I, I got this great job. I have six figures. I’m doing all these things.
Danielle Droitsch [00:39:09]:
And I just didn’t think that I would be so unhappy at work. And so young people have the ability early on to see all this before others, you know, have the little added advantage. And it doesn’t mean you don’t focus on security and stability, but as you’re doing it, you are really, really, really aware of your, your superpowers. You’re super aware of how you’re strong, the additional value bring. You figure out who you are, your secret sauce. You have leaned into them in such a way that you build some confidence in yourself. You’re connecting with people. They know you, you know yourself.
Danielle Droitsch [00:39:51]:
And what happens is that, guess what, those people grow and they get advanced and they get moved up pretty quickly because those are the managers, those are the leaders. Those are the people that actually end up, you know, getting the promotions. So there’s value in doing it, but it does take a little extra work, and sometimes it’s not something that you’re going to find in a classroom.
Tim Newman [00:40:14]:
Yeah, I would say very, very rarely. Some of that stuff you’ll find in the classroom, I think, you know, you, you may be able to find, you know, the, the how to figure those things out, maybe. But ultimately, that’s all self work. That’s all. I mean, you’ve got to put the work in, into it. You’ve got to, it’s. It to me goes back to the innards. You’ve got.
Tim Newman [00:40:37]:
You’ve got to want to be able to figure that those things out sooner rather than later. Because again, like you said, when you have some of those things figured out, you carry yourself differently. You look different, you’re, you sound different, you’re. You’re viewed differently.
Danielle Droitsch [00:40:54]:
Yep.
Tim Newman [00:40:56]:
And that’s one of the reasons why also people are noticing in advance because they show up different.
Danielle Droitsch [00:41:04]:
That’s right. That’s right.
Tim Newman [00:41:07]:
Danielle, thank you so much. Where can people find you to work with you.
Danielle Droitsch [00:41:12]:
So yeah, so I am at time four wellbeing and four is the number four. So timeforwellbeing.com and you can find me on my website. You can also find me on LinkedIn. I love connecting with everyone. Anyone on LinkedIn. I have a free training that I’ll be sharing through you, Tim, but basically it’s a training on how to find fulfilling work. What does it really look like? So we’ll have that link to you as well.
Tim Newman [00:41:47]:
Awesome. And I’ll put those links in the show notes for everybody.
Danielle Droitsch [00:41:50]:
Thank you so much, Daniel.
Tim Newman [00:41:52]:
Again, thank you so much for spending some time with us today. I really do appreciate it. Lots of great stuff. And I’m hopeful that not just young professionals, but people in general really get into that work and figuring out who they are because it’s life changing, both personally and professionally.
Danielle Droitsch [00:42:14]:
100%. You just nailed it. Thanks so much, Tim. I’m so happy to have talked to you today.
Tim Newman [00:42:19]:
All right, take care. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free eBook, the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Forming for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time. Take care, Sam.
About Chris Johnson
Chris Johnson is a sales and leadership coach who helps business owners and sales teams increase revenue, communicate with confidence, and lead under pressure. With over a decade of experience in high-performance sales and building multi-million-dollar organizations, Chris equips people with practical frameworks they can apply immediately to close more deals, build stronger teams, and create lasting momentum.
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