Tim Newman [00:00:09]:
Half your team thinks you're a great communicator. The other half thinks you're speaking a foreign language. Both groups are right, and today I'm going to show you why. Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results. Communication, Storytelling, public speaking, and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I'm Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I'm thrilled to guide you on your journey to becoming a powerful communicator. All right, so here's the situation. You say something in a meeting, half the room nods along, the other half looks at you like you just spoke Klingon, and your instinct is to think something's wrong with them.

Tim Newman [00:00:50]:
But guess what? Nothing is wrong with them. They just process communication differently than you do. And once you learn to spot the pattern, you can adjust your delivery and actually reach anyone in the room. There's a framework I use with almost every client I coach, and it comes from Thomas Erickson's book, Surrounded by Idiots. Erickson breaks people into 4 color-coded communication styles. And once you see them, you can't unsee them. Nobody is purely one color. We're all really a blend.

Tim Newman [00:01:21]:
But most of us lean hard into a default setting, and that default is exactly what causes the friction you feel at work. So let's break down all 4, and then I'll give you the one shift that makes this framework actually useful instead of just interesting. Here's the honest part. For years, I thought being a strong communicator meant having one great style and sticking to it. Polish it, perfect it, use it everywhere. That's backwards. The strongest communicators I know aren't the ones with the best single style. They're the ones who can shift styles depending on who's sitting across from them.

Tim Newman [00:01:55]:
The first style is the Driver. The Driver is red, bold, decisive, competitive, and a little impatient. They want the result. They do not want the 20-minute backstory to get there. I'm one. I'm a driver. Ask anyone who's worked with me and they'll tell you I walk into a conversation already 3 steps past the point everyone else is still finding. Back in my professor days, a student would start explaining why an assignment was late and I'd already be thinking about the fix before they finished their second sentence.

Tim Newman [00:02:29]:
That's not me being cold. It's just how my brain runs. If you've got a driver on your team, they're not trying to steamroll you. They're just bored by the scenic route when they already know the destination. So lead with a conclusion every single time. Tell them the project is finished. Here are the top 3 findings, and here's what you recommend next. That's music to a driver's ears.

Tim Newman [00:02:52]:
Greens see them as pushy. Yellows think they're too serious. Blues see them as reckless with details. But drivers are usually the reason anything actually gets finished. They don't hate people, they hate wasted time. And if you want to lead a driver tomorrow, cut your next email in half, put the ask in the first sentence, and watch what happens. One more thing about drivers. They will respect you more for pushing back with a clear reason than they will for agreeing just to keep the peace.

Tim Newman [00:03:23]:
A soft maybe wastes their time twice. Once when you say it, and once again later when they find out you actually meant no. The next style is the connector. The connector is yellow. They're social, enthusiastic, talkative, optimistic. They want connection, and they hate rigid structure more than almost anything. I taught hundreds of these students back in my classroom days. They show up with 6 tangents before they landed on the actual question.

Tim Newman [00:03:52]:
And I used to shut that down fast because I thought it meant they weren't focused. I was wrong. They weren't unfocused. They were processing out loud, and every time I cut them off too early, I cut off their best idea before it had a chance to land. My wife does the exact same thing at home. She'll walk in the door with 5 different stories stacked on top of each other before she gets to the one that actually matters. And for years, I'd interrupt her about 15 seconds in, Because I just wanted the bottom line. That's a driver failing to lead a connector.

Tim Newman [00:04:24]:
And I did it constantly before I understood why it kept backfiring. Now I just let her get to the end every single time. The good part was worth the wait. Reds look at connectors and see chaos. Greens find them overwhelming. Blues think they're superficial because they skip the details. But connectors are usually the ones who turn a dead meeting into an idea That actually moves the needle. When you're leading a Connector, match their energy briefly and then gently channel it.

Tim Newman [00:04:52]:
Give them the goal and let them find the path. Don't hand them a 40-page procedure document. Hand them the outcome you want and let them have some fun getting there, as long as they hit the points that matter. If you want to lead a Connector better, let them talk for 30 seconds in your next meeting before you steer. You'll get more out of them. And they'll actually enjoy the work. Next is the analyst. The analyst is blue.

Tim Newman [00:05:18]:
Precise, detail-oriented, cautious. They're allergic to vague promises. I had a student like this every single semester, one who emailed me at 11 at night asking exactly how many points a citation error would cost them. Used to drive me a little crazy, but that same student never once turned in a paper with a typo in the thesis statement. Analysts catch the errors that sink projects. They drive fast-moving teams a little crazy because they won't move until every detail checks out. Reds see them as too slow. Yellows see them as overly critical.

Tim Newman [00:05:54]:
Greens find their questions stressful in an otherwise peaceful room. Those questions are usually what saves you from the public disaster. When you're leading an analyst, come prepared and show your work. Never say, just trust me on this. That's the fastest way to lose them completely. Instead, hand them the data, show them the step-by-step plan, and ask them to double-check the one section that gave you trouble last time. They will love you for it. The mistake most leaders make is treating their questions like nitpicking.

Tim Newman [00:06:28]:
An analyst who stops asking questions isn't a happy analyst. They're a checked-out analyst, and that's exactly when the expensive mistakes start slipping through. If you want to lead an analyst better, attach one piece of supporting data to your next request that you wouldn't normally include and watch how differently they respond. Then there is the stabilizer, and the stabilizer is green. They're calm, supportive, reliable, and patient. They want harmony, and sudden change feels like an attack on their entire system. Stabilizers are the backbone of almost every team I've ever worked with. Because they don't shout, they're the most overlooked person in the room.

Tim Newman [00:07:06]:
When stabilizer finally quits, the whole team is shocked. And nobody saw it coming because the stabilizer was too quiet to make a scene about their frustration. I've coached more than one operations person who nodded along every single meeting year after year. On paper, they agreed with everything. But in reality, they're practicing quiet compliance. Going along in the room and disagreeing everywhere else. You don't find out how much they actually push back until the exit interview, and by then there's nothing left to fix. And that's the trap with stabilizers.

Tim Newman [00:07:40]:
Their silence gets mistaken for agreement when it's really just conflict avoidance wearing a calm face. Reds see stabilizers as indecisive. Yellows see them as boring. Blues find them frustratingly noncommittal because they won't give a firm answer until they've thought it all the way through. The nod in the meeting doesn't tell you what's actually happening. The private conversation does. When you're leading a stabilizer, slow down and explain changes before they happen. Don't spring a major shift on them in a group setting.

Tim Newman [00:08:12]:
Give them a heads-up one-on-one first and tell them you'll walk them through the transition with them. If you want to lead a stabilizer better, ask them what they actually think before the group meeting. You'll get a completely different answer, and it's usually the one you needed to hear. So now you know the 4 colors. But here's the mistake almost everyone makes right after they learn this. They figure out their own color, they get a little excited about it, and then they stop. Knowing your own color is only the beginning. The real skill is learning to speak all 4 languages while still sounding like yourself.

Tim Newman [00:08:47]:
Talk like you're correct. And listen like you're wrong. That line applies here just as much as it applies to anything else we talk about on the show. You don't change who you are. You just get fluent in more than one language. When you walk into a room and meet people where they actually are, instead of demanding they come to you, you communicate better and you lead better at the exact same time. The next time a conversation goes sideways, don't assume the other person being difficult. Ask yourself which color you're actually talking to and adjust your delivery before you adjust your opinion of them.

Tim Newman [00:09:24]:
Pick one person on your team this week, figure out their color, and send them exactly one message built for that color instead of one you would have sent on autopilot. That's the whole assignment. One person, one message, one shift. You don't need to master all 4 languages by Friday. You just need to prove to yourself that you can speak a second one when it actually matters. And once you know you can do it on purpose, you'll never go back to doing it by accident. That's all for today. Remember, we're looking for progress, not perfection.

Tim Newman [00:09:58]:
Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcast.com to get your free ebook, The Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and How to Overcome Them. You can also register for the Forming for Public Speaking course. Always remember, your voice has the power to change the world. We'll talk to you next time. Take care.