Tim Newman Speaks: Introvert to Influencer, Communication Skills That Work

Tim: 0:08

Welcome back to Speaking with Confidence, the podcast that helps you build the soft skills that lead to real results Communication, storytelling, public speaking and showing up with confidence in every conversation that counts. I’m Tim Newman, a recovering college professor turned communication coach, and I’m thrilled to guide you on your journey to become a powerful communicator. Make sure you hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode. In this episode, I want to give you three things that introverts can do to improve their communication skills today. Let’s get started. Imagine this you walk into a networking event, your palms are sweating and you’re already scanning the room for an escape route. We’ve been told networking is about working the room, but here’s the truth.

Tim: 0:54

Introverts have a unique advantage. Research shows that introverts are naturally gifted listeners, allowing them to build deeper, more meaningful connections than most people realize. So, instead of forcing yourself to adopt extroverted tactics, you can leverage your ability to allowing them to build deeper, more meaningful connections than most people realize. So, instead of forcing yourself to adopt extroverted tactics, you can leverage your ability to listen, reflect and connect one-on-one skills that have helped many introverts succeed. By understanding and using these strengths, you can navigate communication challenges in ways that feel authentic and energizing. But what about situations where the pace feels too quick, like in meetings, when the conversation moves faster than your thoughts? In meetings, it can feel like everyone else is speaking before you’ve even finished processing the question. This isn’t a sign that you’re slow or disengaged. It’s actually a reflection of your brain’s deep processing strength. Researchers like Taylor have found that introverts’ natural tendency to pause and reflect leads to higher quality, more thoughtful input. While extroverts may be quick to offer initial reactions, your considered responses often spark deeper, more meaningful discussion. And that pause before you speak is your mind doing careful analysis, not hesitating out of uncertainty. The challenge is that meeting culture often rewards speed, not depth. By the time you’ve formed your thoughts to the conversation, they’ve already moved on. This can make you feel like your insights are being overlooked, even though they may be exactly what the group needs.

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Zolinski and colleagues point out that when introverts speak up, the contributions often shift the discussion in valuable ways. The key is making sure your voice gets heard before the moment passes. So one practical strategy is the 30-second rule for speaking up Before the meeting. Review the agenda and identify two topics where you have insight or experience. Prepare a short 30-second version of your perspective for each. When those topics come up, aim to speak early in the discussion, ideally within the first few responses. This approach lets you leverage your strength and preparation and ensures your thoughtful input shapes the direction of the conversation. If something unexpected comes up, it’s okay to ask for a moment to think, simply say let me consider that for a second. Most people will pause and that brief silence signals that your answer is being carefully considered, not delayed by uncertainty.

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Practicing a simple three-part structure. Practicing a simple three-part structure One, acknowledge the previous point. Two, share your perspective. And three, connected to the bigger picture can help your contributions land with clarity and impact. With a plan in place, you can make your voice heard without sacrificing your natural strengths. The same principle applies outside the meeting room, especially when it comes to building professional relationships in environments that often feel tailored for extroverts.

Tim: 3:51

When it comes to networking, introverts often find themselves navigating environments that seem engineered for extroverts Loud spaces, quick introductions and unspoken pressure to collect as many business cards as possible. But effective networking isn’t about quantity. It’s about the quality of each connection, and this is where introverts excel. Research by Raja and colleagues shows that introverts thrive in one-on-one conversations where they can engage thoughtfully and let their personalities shine without feeling overwhelmed. Rather than trying to meet everyone in the room, introverts benefit from focusing their energy on a few meaningful interactions. The usual advice to work the room doesn’t take into account how introverts operate best. Extroverts may draw energy from flitting between groups, but introverts are most effective in smaller focused conversations listening, reflecting and responding with intention. Again, raja and others also found that when introverts and extroverts collaborate by exercising their personalities with thoughtfulness and restraint, they both build more genuine personal relationships.

Tim: 5:00

A practical approach for introverts is the two-deep strategy. For those wondering, I’m not talking about a football defense coverage Before attending an event, choose two people you generally want to connect with. It could be a speaker, a panelist or someone who shares your interests. Do some light research so you have some authentic conversation starters ready to go and, when the time comes, aim to spend 15 to 20 minutes in real conversation with each person. There’s no need to rush or force small talk. Focus on grounded, honest interaction. This method echoes Herbert and others, who recommend organizational plans that allow for diverse team compositions and flexible approaches, making space for introverts to contribute in the ways that suit them.

Tim: 5:45

If surface-level small talk feels exhausting, steer the conversation a bit deeper. Instead of asking what do you do? Try what surprised you most about your work recently? Questions like these invite more meaningful exchanges, helping you connect beyond the basics. You can also make networking more manageable by arriving early, when the room is quieter and conversations start more naturally. And conversations start more naturally Again. Herbert and others suggest that flexible environments benefit introverts, and a quieter start can set the tone for the rest of the event. And don’t hesitate to take breaks if needed. Stepping away to recharge is not only acceptable, it’s smart.

Tim: 6:25

Where introverts truly stand out is in the follow-up. A short personal message within a day mentioning a specific detail from your conversation can turn a brief interaction into a lasting connection. Many introverts remember details others overlook. Making their follow-ups more memorable and genuine Networking doesn’t have to be overwhelming or transactional. By focusing on fewer, richer conversations, introverts can leave events with stronger, more authentic connections and far less exhaustion. And it’s often these deeper interactions that set the stage for your next advantage the power of listening.

Tim: 7:02

In professional settings, the ability to listen can set you apart, especially if you didn’t take in information quietly while others fill the room with conversation. Research by Denar and Taylor show that introverts excel at active listening and empathy, two skills that are often overlooked but highly valued in the workplace. Rather than focusing on speaking, the most introverts pay close attention to what others say, picking up on subtle cues and underlying concerns. This habit of deep listening builds trust and encourages collaboration, making others feel genuinely heard and understood. Listening isn’t just about being quiet. It’s about being fully present. Introverts often show this by giving their full attention, asking thoughtful questions and reflecting back on what they’ve heard, for example, paraphrasing someone’s point. So you’re weighing speed against cost and then following up with a thoughtful question or insight that demonstrates that you’ve actually engaged and are empathetic. Again, dinar and others found that these habits foster a sense of psychological safety and strengthen professional relationships. When people feel heard, they are more likely to share important information and trust your judgment.

Tim: 8:14

In group discussions or meetings, introverts may not be the first to speak up, but when they do, the contributions are more impactful. Taylor and others noted that introverts’ responses add depth to conversations because they are grounded in careful listening and consideration. Rather than dominating the conversation, introverts help surface ideas that might otherwise go unnoticed and clarify what matters most to the group. This approach extends to leadership and negotiation as well. Rajah and others found that introverted leaders tend to coach and empower others through one-on-one communication, leading to better team outcomes. And by listening closely, introverts notice shifts in tone, word choice and body language that reveal what’s really being said, and this awareness allows them to respond more strategically, whether navigating a negotiation or managing a difficult conversation.

Tim: 9:08

Listening is not a passive act. It’s a deliberate, strategic choice. By using active listening, introverts can shape discussions, build trust and lead with authenticity. Sometimes, the most effective way to communicate and influence isn’t through speaking at all. Written communication is often where introverts find their most effective mode of expression. In the digital age, platforms like LinkedIn, slack and email create opportunities for introverts to communicate on their own teams. Lernosity’s research highlights that online communication empowers introverts to share their ideas authentically, allowing them to refine their thoughts and contribute with clarity. This ability to take time, organize ideas and deliver well-crafted messages is a strength that stands out in professional environments, where clear and concise communication is highly valued.

Tim: 10:06

Writing offers something that spontaneous conversation rarely does the chance to think before responding. Introverts can use this to their advantage, preparing responses that are precise and well-structured. This methodical approach doesn’t just improve clarity. It helps reduce misunderstandings and ensure that instructions or feedback are easy to follow. In fact, hudson and Ferguson found that introverts’ creativity often flourishes during solitary work, which fuels innovation and leads to more original solutions. Rather than relying on quick brainstorming sessions, introverts can use writing to develop ideas in depth before presenting them to a group. And when it comes to email, introverts often pause to consider their words, resulting in thoughtful and well-structured responses.

Tim: 10:52

Taylor found that these written communications are perceived as more compassionate and empathetic, which can strengthen professional relationships and build trust. The focus is on clarity and substance rather than volume, making each message more impactful. On LinkedIn and similar platforms, introverts can post less frequently but with more meaningful content to attract better professional opportunities than those who post daily with little depth. This approach fewer but richer contributions mirrors how introverts operate in person Less noise, more meaning In meetings. Written contributions such as pre-reads or follow-up summaries can be especially effective. Teams that use these written tools often make better decisions, as everyone has time to process and contribute thoughtfully. For introverts, viewing writing as a primary communication tool rather than just a backup can shift the way they participate and lead, and recognizing the value of written communication means understanding that effective communication doesn’t require changing who you are.

Tim: 11:57

Introverted communication strengths like active listening, thoughtful preparation and meaningful one-on-one connections play a critical role in effective teamwork and leadership. Herbert and others highlight that when organizations understand and support introversion, they benefit from greater creativity, diversity and overall performance. The reward sensitivity theory, discussed by Kane in the 1920s and referenced by Lerniosity, also helped explain why introverts excel in environments where depth and reflection matter. So the next time you feel pressure to adopt a louder style, remember that your quiet approach brings real value. Try one of these strategies whether it’s a 30-second rule, focused networking or written communication and share in the comments which quiet communication tip you’ll try.

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First, remember we’re looking for progress, not perfection. That’s all for today. Be sure to visit speakingwithconfidencepodcastcom to get your free e-book the Top 21 Challenges for Public Speakers and how to Overcome them. You can also register for the Foreman for Public Speaking course. Always remember your voice has the power to change the world, not overcome them. You can also register for the Foreman for Public Speaking course. Always remember your voice has the power to change the world. We’ll talk to you next time, take care.